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cool americans

Americans are cool. And we have attitude, too.

Never mind that Bush 3 – AKA Rick Perry – got a standing ovation from the audience full of zombies at this week’s Republican Presidential Nominee Debate for claiming bragging rights over the number of people he’s allowed the State to put to death during his tenure as Head Crazy on his home planet of Texas, the rest of the world thinks Americans are the coolest. Or at least 30,000 people spread across 15 countries do.

The results of a poll conducted on the social network site Badoo claim the Anti-American sentiment promoted by Bush The Sequel breaking the world is over; and thanks to having the world’s coolest leader, Barack Obama, the rest of the planet is back to wishing they were us once again.

With 121 million users worldwide, Badoo is ‘the world’s largest social network,’ though it’s not quite cool enough to garner much attention in the U.S. If your friend count on Facebook is in the single digits, you may want to switch over ‘cuz the users on Badoo just love America. Belgians, not so much; according to the poll their country is the least cool.

cool america

Johnny Depp made the cool list and Trevor Adams’ ass didn’t? The poll’s results were obviously flawed.

“We hear lots in the media about anti-Americanism”, says Lloyd Price, Badoo’s Director of Marketing. “But we sometimes forget how many people across the world consider Americans seriously cool.”

The poll singled out specific Americans as being iconically cool, including Apple’s Steve Jobs, Lady Gaga, Michael Jackson, and Quentin Tarantino. Well, getting one out of four right isn’t bad. They also named Johnny Depp to the list, but then we all know he’s really French (which came in fifth on the list of coolest nationalities). The Sundance Film Festival, Blues, Jazz, Harley Davidson, and Surfing were also all designated as American icons of coolness. So was Badoo’s on-line competitor, Facebook. Which really wasn’t a very cool result.

Joining Belgium on the list of the uncool are Poland, Turkey, and Canada, eh? And Germans squeaked in to round out the top five least cool nations. Brazil, of course scored as a cool country, just behind the U.S., which with all those hot Brazilian boys certainly makes sense. Spain and Italy fell on the cool side of the border, too.

hot brazil

This is why the world thinks Brazil is so cool.

In related news since the majority of users of Badoo are European, and possibly serving as an explanation for the poll results of who is and who isn’t cool, Hans Ulrich Wittchen, director of the institute of clinical psychology and psychotherapy at Germany’s Dresden University, just released the results of a study he conducted that shows 40% of Europeans qualify as being mentally ill. And I believe that does include Johnny Depp.

Wittchen led a three-year study covering 30 European countries — the 27 European Union member states plus Switzerland, Iceland and Norway — and a population of 514 million people. The results, published by the European College of Neuropsychopharmacology, show Europeans are plagued by mental and neurological illnesses, with almost 165 million people or 38 percent of the population suffering each year from a brain disorder such as depression, anxiety, insomnia, or dementia.

“Mental disorders have become Europe’s largest health challenge of the 21st century,” says Wittchen. “In Europe, that grim future had arrived early, with diseases of the brain already the single largest contributor to the EU’s burden of ill health.

canadian flag

Canada was voted as not cool. But some Canadians are quite hot.

Mental illnesses are a major cause of death, disability, and economic burden worldwide and the World Health Organization predicts that by 2020, depression will be the second leading contributor to the global burden of disease across all ages. Mental illnesses are also a leading contributor to the popularity of internet message boards.

America too faces the problem of an increase in mental illness among our population. But then we’ve come up with the coolest answer to that problem: we elect our supreme crazies and send them off to Washington every few years.