Songkran soon approaches, but an equally important event arrives in just a few short days. April 2 is an important date in Thailand. That’s the annual conscription day for Thailand’s military. Bar boys of 21 years of age all head home to anxiously await the results of the Thai military lottery, praying to Buddha that they escape the draft.

This year the Thai military proposed some new terminology to cover the country’s ladyboy and ladyboy wannabe population. In the past, the transgendered were exempt from conscription due to their “psychological abnormality.” a term to which many took offense. ‘Fabulousness’ would be a more acceptable phrase.

With this year’s draft, Thai men are instead categorized by type. ‘Type 1’ refers to men ‘whose appearances are typical of men’. They have the most to be concerned with over the draft. Thaksin Chiamthong, director of the academic resources division of the Army Reserve Command reports, “Normally only Type 1 are required to draw a conscription ballot.”

Type 2 are men who have undergone breast implants. Type 2 men are held in reserve, says Thaskin. “If the number of Type 1 is insufficient, Type 2 will be conscripted as well, despite their female-like breasts.”

Full on ladyboys, those who have had a complete sex change, are classified as Type 3. They are exempt from military service. Possibly a foolish move on the Thai military’s part. I can think of nothing more scary than a platoon of screeching Thai ladyboys running at you across a battlefield. The Thai armed services may want to reconsider the psychological impact on enemy troops an army of ladyboys could have.

The military intends to draft 97,280 men this year. It’s possible some may sport a nice set of tits.