Brett Berk, a writer for Vanity Fair recently caused a major brouhaha over using the word ‘fag’ in his recap of an episode of Glee. Mr. Berk is gay. Recaps, at least the good ones, are edgy, sarcastic, and make fun of characters and plots. Glee is about as gay as television has ever managed to be. And if the Kurt character isn’t a fag, I don’t know who is. But ignore all that. As gay men we are suppose to be offended by someone having the audacity in these pc times to even think of using the fag word. GLAAD and the gay press called down the condemnation of the gods. Vanity Fair apologized. The world yawned.

One on-line pundit said it was OK for Mr. Berk to use the word faggot because he is one. Or is gay, a more politically correct term. Cool. I can buy into that. It’s like black guys using nigger (OMG! I used the N word!!!!). But then he immediately followed that up by saying it was cool until Vanity Fair printed it, because they then took ownership of the word’s use. And since Vanity Fair isn’t gay it then was a no-no. Except I think Vanity Fair is pretty gay. Following that logic, the black comedian being showcased on HBO can use the N word, but as soon as he does it’s wrong because by airing it HBO takes ownership and has no right to use the word. Though I guess it’d be okay for BET to do the same. It’s difficult being pc, the rules never seem to work across the board.

Unless you buy into GLAAD’s Nazi approach to equality. In GLADD’s world it is never okay to use the word fag. In fact, you cannot even use the word fag when you are whining about someone else using the word fag. According to GLADD, you are suppose to instead use ‘f*g’. PC by committee, I think. GLADD must hate that ‘the F word’ has already been claimed.

I respect GLADD’s efforts at being the media watchdog on gay issues, but think they often lose sight of their goal by taking such a black and white approach to equality and acceptance. To them, I probably qualify for being a homophobe for using the word gay instead of the more all inclusive phrase gay/lesbian/transgendered/transsexual/whatever/whatever/whatever. Not my fault. My spellchecker accepts gay but hangs up on the multi-sexual/gender identification label GLADD prefers. GLADD got great press over attacking Vanity Fair for its ‘fag’ usage. I’d rather see them take issue with the fact that in twenty-nine states you can be fired from your job for being gay. Yup, in more than half of our country you can lose your job for being gay. And GLADD won’t take exception unless your employer fires you for being a ‘f*g’.

Thirty-eight years ago George Carlin listed the seven words you can never say on television. He forgot ‘fag’. (Though technically ‘cocksucker,’ which made his list, qualifies). In today’s pc world, that list has grown to a point you spend more time deciphering what someone has written than reading it. PC aware bloggers make up words for words they don’t think they should use. For example, ‘peen’ is a popular substitute for penis. Seriously, if you need to use the word penis, just do it. Peen still means penis so what’s the difference? It’s not like you said cock.

Peen for penis, f*g for fag, the F word for fuck. All perfectly good words mutated to avoid offense. Sometimes we forget the whole point of language is to communicate. Clarity, not political correctness, should rule. When someone uses an offensive word, like ‘fag’, their usage and intent should be more important than an objection to the word. When some homophobe says, ‘fucking fags’ he should be condemned. For his underlying hate, not his choice of words. When a gay comedian says fag, if the joke was funny, you should be allowed to laugh.

So please, GLADD and pc fanatics, don’t hate me for using the word fag. Don’t be offended when I use the word penis. And don’t get your panties in a wad when I use the word fuck. And God forbid I’d ever use the word ‘cunt’. That offense I easily avoid, I just say ‘fish’.

And yeah, GLADD, not Mr. Berk, gets today’s Turtle Ass Award.