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Monk seating warning

. . . though usually they're given chairs.

Thailand is a Buddhist country. Religion plays a pivotal and constant role in the daily lives of the Thai people. Unless you stick to your hotel and raunchier neighborhoods, you will run across monks while on holiday in the Kingdom. Your natural inclination will be to run up, give one a big hug, and ask to take a picture with him. Uh, don’t. There are several questions of monk etiquette you should be aware of before your first monk sighting in Thailand.

There is a good chance that before you see your first monk you’ll run across evidence of their existence. All public transportation, including waiting areas in airports and the like, have special seating reserved for monks. Fortunately these aren’t one of those Thai ‘you are suppose to know, so we don’t tell you’ instances. The seats and seating areas are always clearly marked. In English. If there are other seats available, don’t use these. If on the other hand, as is often the case on Bangkok’s BTS system, there are no other seats available and there are no monks to be seen, go ahead and plop your butt down. (Uh, of course if a monk happens by you need to get the hell outta his seat pronto!) The reserved seating is not because monks are frail, or because they are special. It is to help them avoid contact with the unclean. That’s you.

Which brings us to our next point of monk etiquette: Monks are not to be touched. Period. You’ll see a lot written in guide books and on-line about the prohibition against women touching monks. And we’ll get to that in a sec. These warnings seldom mention male to male contact. It isn’t as of unpardonable of a sin for a monk to be touched by a dude, accidently brushing up against one will only elicit a frown. By purposeful touching, like shaking hands or wrapping your arm around him for a photo op, are no-no’s. It’s that whole unclean thing again. You don’t need to understand the why, just know it is a valid don’t.

Women should absolutely never- in any possible way – touch a monk. Never, ever, ever. They’ll explode. As I’m sure you realize, women are exceptionally unclean and have contaminated auras (just trying’ to piss y’all off). Monks will go to great extents to not have contact with a woman. You should be as careful, it’s the polite thing to do. Walking down a crowded street, monks will step off the sidewalk if a woman is headed toward them. That’s not chivalry, it’s avoidance. Thai women can not hand a monk alms; whatever is being given is usually placed on the ground for the monk to pick up. Yup, it’s that big of a thing.

wary monk

"Don't even think about it!"

And it goes to figure that if on a day to day basis women are unclean, when they are menstruating, they’re toxic. I’ve seen signs at wats alerting women that they can not enter the temple during their monthly ‘times of trouble’. The signs, of course, are in English. Thai women already know better. Visiting a wat in Chiang Mai that was still being built I came across a strictly worded No Women Allowed sign. I guess while the temple is being constructed the Thais do not want to take any chance that the sanctity of the wat will be contaminated. I was with some friends on that visit and one of the women went all Mel Gibson upon seeing the sign. Come on ladies, it isn’t a personal attack; it’s the country’s religious culture. And while you may strongly disagree, keep it to yourself. You are a visitor; it’s not your job to enlighten the locals with your personal set of beliefs.

The no touching rules do not mean no contact. Just no physical contact. You want a photo of you and a monk? I’ve never seen a monk refuse such a request. And several wats hold ‘Monk Chat’ sessions, special times they make monks available to interact with touri. The monks are not there to preach Buddhism to you; that would be a very non-Buddhist thing to do. It’s usually younger monks getting a chance to practice their English. And it is a great chance for you to learn more about their life as a monk. Just don’t try shaking their hand when you say thank you at the end of your talk.