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Turtle Asshole

Turtle Ass Award Winning Glow Trinity Hotel

Just ran across the above photo on the internet, so it’s not mine. I ripped it off. It’s of a turtle’s asshole, or more properly anus. So a small asshole. And a perfectly fitting tribute to today’s New and Improved Turtle Ass Awards entry about the Bangkok hotel Glow Trinity. Not a major bitch slap, ‘cuz their just a small asshole.

Glow Trinity is a renovated version of a hotel in the old Trinity Complex, just a three minutes walk down the soi from the Chong Nonsi BTS station. A great location. Prices at the hotel, especially when booked through Agoda, are quite reasonable. $50 – $75 depending on the room and whether or not you book to include breakfast. So great price, too.

They are billing the place as a boutique hotel. Meaning small and stylish. While the ‘stylish’ here means minimal and cheap, they’ve done a decent job on the renovations. The rooms have a modern look to them with some sense of style. So great (cheap) decor, too.

The buffet breakfast isn’t lavish by any means, but you will find about a dozen hot dishes that change a bit daily, a salad bar, dessert bar, lots of pastries and breads, and an egg cooking station. For the small additional price it’s well worth booking breakfast with your room. Especially if there are two of you. So good, but not great, breakfast.

The beds are firm, not hard, and covered with a duvet. I’m more of a soft bed guy . . . I like the mattress to feel like a big pillow. But I know I am in the minority there, so I’m satisfied when a hotel’s bed is at least not rock hard. And I really like the duvet idea better than cheap blankets. So they come out a winner on the bedding, too.

The shower (no tub) is of decent size. Plenty of room to shower with a friend. Or two. The water pressure is real good and I never had a problem with the hot water supply at any time of the day. That’s a major plus in my book. The lip between the shower and the rest of the bathroom is too low, so the entire floor gets wet. But that’s no biggy, to me. So another solid win.

The TV is a large flat panel and there are numerous English language channels including HBO. They also have a DVD player hooked up in each room. And there is a docking station for your IPod. And free internet, wireless, not blazing fast, but adequate. Check, check, check, check, and again they get a big plus.

Glow Trinity

The camera's flash brightens what really is a very dark room.

The rooms, however, are dark. The view from the windows are of the parking garage next door and let little natural light into the room. There is no light above the desk area. I touch type; if you need to look at the keys on your laptop, you’re in trouble. So a minus on the lighting, but considering everything else (so far) I’d still say it is a good hotel and well worth the price.

My problem with Glow Trinity is twofold. I’ve stayed there three times. The first time I booked and paid for a deluxe room. Next trip I went cheap and booked a superior room instead. I stayed in the exact same room both times. Thinking I may have been upgraded, I asked two different employees if that really was a superior room and both said it was. Third trip was a different room, supposedly a deluxe again, and ended up being the same size and layout as the superior, or deluxe, or whatever that other room was. So something isn’t right there.

But ya know that’s kinda a Thailand thing and I’d be more curious than pissed; I was okay with the room as being either a superior or deluxe. They get the turtle asshole award, however, based on their check-in. Or lack thereof.

I’ve been travelling to Bangkok for close to 30 years now, two to four times each year. I’ve stayed at numerous hotels in the city from the cheap to the swank. And I have never had to wait for a room to be ready for me, regardless of the time I was checking in. Until I stayed at Glow Trinity. Not once, but all three stays. Each friggin’ time I had to wait for over an hour for a room to be ready. And that’s a real bitch when you’ve already been travelling for 20+ hours.

If I was early I could understand that (though that has never been a problem at other hotels in Bangkok before). But checking in after 3pm there is no excuse for not having a room ready. None. On my last stay I booked a double room with a single large bed. I had to wait an hour and a half for the room. And then it had two small single beds. Not really conducive to a long hot night of sweaty sex. Back down to the check-in counter to explain the problem only to find out they had no doubles available. Best they could do was to switch me over the following day. ‘Cuz I love packing and unpacking all my shit.

I’ve traveled enough in SE Asia to know better than to lose my temper. And to know in this kind of situation the best you’ll get are sweet smiles and no resolution. I guess this procedure is not unusual for the place. The next day when I went down to switch, even though I was speaking to the same employee, I had to re-explain the entire problem and then wait while he checked to see if they had a double room available for me. Not a happy camper. To be fair, the bell hop helped me move my stuff to the new room, and he was cute. But not cute enough for me to put up with the hassle again by booking at the Glow Trinity on future trips. I’m not a whiner. Nor am I a difficult guest. Fact this is the first hotel I’ve stayed at in Bangkok that I’ve complained about. The few times in the past I’ve been unhappy with a hotel I’ve chalked it up to experience, realizing I was as much to blame . If there was something about the place that really bothered me, it was largely due to it being a cheap hotel. You do get what you pay for.

There are several other hotels in Bangkok offering the same level of amenities, the same convenient location, and at a comparable price. Without the check-in hassle. So I won’t tell you not to ever stay there. Just be aware it will take you at least an hour to get your room. Assholes!