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I’d like to see a show of hands from those of you who know what the word gay means.
Huh. As I thought, almost unanimous with a few hold outs from those whose hands were busy enjoying the naked dude’s picture I just posted.
You wouldn’t think that gay would be such an undefinable word. Especially among those who are. But as soon as you tack on the word friendly, confusion rules the day. At least among those who have a problem with saying what they mean. Queries about which hotels and SE Asian locales qualify as being gay friendly are a common post on the gay Thailand message boards. But they never really mean friendly to gay people. What they mean is friendly to sex tourists. What they are asking is how open a place is to bringing a prostitute back to your hotel with you. Granted, just like their straight brethren, gay men tend to have active libidos. But that doesn’t mean every gay traveler plans his holiday based on the availability of male whores. No, really.
Recently there was a thread on SGT about how gay friendly Cambodia is. The discussion centered on hotels in Phnom Penh, and how many of those establishments were not friendly to gay clientele. Cambodia is trying to not become the new Thailand. The government is not in favor of sex tourism. Many of the hotels in the country’s capital city post signs stating they do not allow customers to bring prostitutes back to the premises. Nowhere in those signs is the word gay used. But the punters on SGT have decided that makes Phnom Penh not gay friendly.
On my last visit to Cambodia I made my first visit to Phnom Penh with two stays in the city, one at the beginning and one at the end of my visit. I stayed at two different hotels. One had a No Visitors sign posted, the other did not. Neither asked, or seemed to care whether I was gay or not. But then I didn’t travel to Cambodia to see how cheaply I could buy a local boy either. Some do, and I have no problem with sex tourists. Depending on where it is I’m travelling, I probably even qualify as one at times. I do have a problem though with those who can’t man up and admit that they are. Only because their inability to say what they mean leads the uninitiated into believing a locale is not friendly to gays when the opposite is true. Not that travel industry professionals do much better. Even those who specialize in info for gay travelers and sex touri alike.
The Spartacus International Gay Guide recently released its updated list of the world’s top gay friendly destinations. Their guide was once the definitive source for all things gay for the world traveller. Back before the internet. That they even still exist came as a surprise to me. As did their determination that Thailand ranks as the 38th most gay friendly country. In a ten-way tie with the U.S., Aruba, Hungary, Mexico . . . and Cambodia among others. Guess those signs at hotels in Phnom Penh haven’t been every effective.
There is something inherently wrong with either the definition you are using or the criteria you’ve selected to use when you end up with a 10-way tie for any of the spots on your list. When your are judging how gay friendly a country is and you determine that there is no difference between the experience gay men will have in Mexico and Thailand, then something is rotten in the state of Denmark (which came in at the #6 spot, in a 3-way tie with Canada and Iceland).
Spartacus’ popularity as a guide among gay travelers was always its list of bar, pubs, and meting places for gay men in each of the countries and cities it covered. No matter how outdated that information was. But for determining which places were the most gay friendly, they decided to not judge them based on gay nightlife. Instead they used criteria such as the laws and customs of each country as they relate to marriage equality, HIV travel restrictions, hate-crime murders, laws against homosexuality, and others. The availability of male prostitutes was not included in their list.
While it is good to know in which countries you may face the death penalty for having sex with a local hottie, whether or not you can marry him is not one of the major concerns for the average gay traveller. How you can expect to be treated as either a single gay man or a gay couple is. How many gay bars there are, and whether or not a taxi driver will kick you out of his cab when you ask to be taken to one is of more interest than whether or not gay men are allowed to adopt. What, if any, hassles you can expect when checking into a hotel with your same-sex partner matters more to most gay travelers than does the amount of dollars spent on attracting the LGBT market. And yes, even the availability of male prostitutes ranks higher than the equality of the locale’s age on consent laws (though for some those laws in and of themselves are of major importance).
Using political criteria to define how gay friendly a country is, is no better than using the criterion of how acceptable prostitution is. In Indonesia, which ranked at the 104th spot in a 14-way tie that included Singapore in its group, homosexuality is not illegal. Though it is in the Aceh Province and South Sumatra which have both invoked Sharia law. Yet throughout the country, where 85% of the populace is Muslim, same-sex couplings remain taboo. So its low ranking would make sense. Until you consider Bali, which is pretty much a gay paradise.
I’m not sure what the laws about homosexuality are in Singapore; every time I’ve visited there I’ve been too busy getting laid to have the time to look them up. As for neighboring Malaysia, where homosexuality is illegal, it came in at the 130th spot with only 8 other countries ranking lower. Which is all good and well but fails to account for all the little Malaysian gay guys on the streets of Kuala Lumpur. Finding a sex partner in Malaysia is easier than finding an underage bar boy in Sunee Plaza. Nor does it account for how Vatican City (#127) managed to score as a more gay friendly destination than Malaysia. But then on second thought . . .
Gay friendly probably is a more popular internet search phrase than homophobic countries where they’ll kill me for being gay is, so while it is understandable for SEO purposes that Spartacus would use the gay friendly moniker for their list, when you call it the ‘Top Gay Friendly Destinations In The World” there is a problem when you include Iran on your list. Even if it is in last place. There is nothing gay friendly about Iran. They don’t even have gays in Iran according to the country’s president. But then maybe if the pundits on SGT spent some time in Iran they’d change their mind about what gay friendly really means.
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Mitch S. said:
Iran is about as “gay friendly” as the gay Thailand forums. Ayatollahs running some boards. Fanatics on others. Same general pissed off outlook on life from sexual frustration!
By the way, I do not think it is a coincidence that you reappear on SGT at the same time as Beachbore.
Bangkokbois said:
After having just read the Jim Thompson #1 Tie In The World Nazi’s post I’d have to agree with you Mitch.
I do hope that man is seeing a therapist or he’ll be soon using one of those ties to pull a David Carradine.
Mitch S. said:
Like you have to go out of your way in BKK to find a Jim Thompson store? Yes, that post on SGT was a bit long. Searching for the Holy Grail, I guess. Well, I’m sure he learned a valuable lesson about not bothering to yell at Chinese women.
I have a closet full of Jim Thompson shirts that do get quite a few compliments; however, their ties don’t do it for me. Brooks Brothers only. I bought three ties at Siam Paragon once. Decent price & they looked great, but did not hold up so well with mediocre quality though.
Bangkokbois said:
I get being passionate about things, though neckties are a pretty strange fetish. Not sure if harping about how to properly touch ties on display at a store is the sign of a healthy mind though.
Dekar said:
Maybe in the search to save the time of the editors for local establishments and entertainment, Spartacus just found a nice website on general regulations related to homosexuality. The list reminds me on a study of the united nations some time back where they looked only in the laws and not realities of the countries. That should make it much easier (and cheaper) to bring out a ranking than really having to visit the places and see for yourself.
However they made me curious about Iran…
Bangkokbois said:
Yup, typical of any guidebook – it’s easier to find a source to copy than to go there yourself. That’s why Jim Thompson’s house always gets put on the top 10 lists of things to do in Bangkok. Yawn.
Paul said:
Well Singapore – as a post colonial Brit nation just like Malaysia – would have the same archaic Victorian laws… hence the infamous no sodomy bit.
Bangkokbois said:
Interesting isn’t it that as much as the colonial Brits were into buggering each other, those laws always made it onto the books.