One of my favorite pastimes in Bangkok is to turn the cards on scammers. Not hard to do as the same scams have been playing out for decades and they are all well known. So it is easy to pick one, and figure out how you can turn what should have been a loss, into a win (for you).

People who still fall prey to one of these scams are greedy fools who get what they deserve. None of the Top 10 Bangkok scams is a secret. Five minutes on the internet will clue you in and help make sure you do not fall victim. So if you are scammed, shame on you.

Recently I was perusing a Travel Pod blog entry about an Aussie guy’s trip through Asia, picking up hints for a trip to India I’m planning. This guy had also been to Bangkok and half way through one of his posts he bragged about the great custom made suit he got because when he went to visit the Grand Palace it was closed and a tuk tuk driver there suggested a trip to a tailor instead. WTF! I didn’t think anyone actually fell for that one anymore. Wrong.

This has been a popular scam since the palace was built. (Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but not by much). The entrance to the palace can be difficult to find so there are a lot of lost touri wandering about the area. The scam is being told the palace is closed. The tuk tuk driver, who will inform you of this disappointing news, will speak English exceptionally well. He is an Officially Licensed Government Sanctioned Tuk Tuk Driver (and has a bogus ID card to prove it). For a mere 25 baht, he will take you to 2 wats, the giant swing, and mumble, mumble, mumble. Damn are you a lucky guy or what!

During your visit to one of the wats, a nice Thai man (who will be either a doctor, lawyer, or teacher on vacation) will chat you up. A nice stranger, who Does Not Know your tuk tuk driver, he will clue you in on a secret. The government is holding a Officially Sanctioned Government Gemstone Sale. Normally, you wouldn’t find out about this but for your luck of meeting this nice him. Oh, and, wow! Your tuk tuk driver? He’s am Officially Licensed Government Sanctioned Tuk Tuk Driver, who the nice Thai man Does Not Know. Good thing. ‘Cuz he will be able to get you into the place holding the sale, whereas a normal tuk tuk driver would not. But wait! It gets better! This nice Thai man visits America often. He pays for his trips by buying gemstone jewelry in Bangkok, at Officially Sanctioned Government Gemstone Sales and selling the stuff in America. And it’s simple. When you get home just walk into any jeweler’s and they’ll buy your piece for five time what you paid for it. Yes, you have truly led a blessed life to have stumbled into such an incredible money making idea. And off to the Officially Sanctioned Government Gemstone Sale you head.

OK, if you haven’t figured it out, you’ll end up buying a worthless piece of jewelry at a high price that will elicit much mirth back home when you try and cash in on your good fortune. An important part of being scammed is also being laughed at. It’s karma payback for being both an idiot and greedy.

Oh, and the tailor? That comes after the Officially Sanctioned Government Gemstone Sale. Because now that you are gonna make the big bucks when you get home, you can afford to buy a few new suits at unbelievably cheap prices.

So obviously, now that you’ve been warned, don’t fall for this scam, right? Hell no! Go for it! If you don’t wuss out and actually buy any gems, jewelry, or suits (and if you pass on the gems and jewelry, your driver won’t take you to a tailor because he already figured out you are a cheapskate and have no money), for 25 baht you are gonna get a ride to two cools wats and the Giant Swing (which is in front of Wat Surat, so a quick dash in brings your wat score up to 3). Sure you’ll have to spend 15 minutes or so at one of the jewelry places, but they will give you a free drink there, and it’s kinda cool to see how they make the jewelry – which is part of the tour. Hiring a tuk tuk driver to do this trip on your own would run you a good 200 – 300 baht. Score! And you just scammed a scammer.