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Sunday Funnies #82
01 Sunday Mar 2015
Posted Sunday Funnies
in01 Sunday Mar 2015
Posted Sunday Funnies
inRelated Posts You Might Enjoy: | ||
27 Friday Feb 2015
Posted Blogs
inTags
Huh.
Now that Jabba The Butt has referred to me as “someone who does know what he’s talking about” it’s tempting to go rest on my laurels. I’m just not sure what my laurels are. But I think I strained one of them last night; Dave just picked up a copy of The Gay Kama Sutra and we’ve been working our way through the positions. Sometimes life can be painful. But Jabba broadcasting links to my blog aside, it’s that time of the year once again to reflect upon the fact that I’ve just spent the last 365 days blogging. I told ya sometimes life can be painful. But then I was the one who decided to devote one day of the week to posting pix of twinks. So I only have myself to blame.
So some 2,900 posts later – and yeah I know just another 100 of those twink photos woulda made it an even number – I find myself entering my fifth year of throwing up a daily dose of drivel on the internet. Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary to me. And apologies to those of you who’ve been reading my blog since its inception. Especially to Boo Hoo, who clicks in daily and is one of my biggest fans. My reader numbers tend to go up, then down, then up again, but there’s always been a steady core group of guys who pop in daily to see what’s been posted. Even if some of them only do so in fear that I may have mentioned them. A lot of the rest are just interested in seeing Joe Manganiello’s penis.
WordPress, who no longer hosts this site but still provides its layout theme and stats, tells me there’s been 10,600 comments posted to my blog over the last four years. And I thank each of you who’ve taken the time to share your thoughts. But I am kinda disappointed in that number too. That’s a lot of input and not a single one of you have yet told me to fuck off. I think Smiles came close once. But I lost interest in trying to follow what he wrote and never finished reading his comment. So that record still stands. I’ll try to do better this next year. I promise.
Which pretty much sums up what you can look forward to over the next year. Lots of abuse. And one week short of a full year’s worth of more weekly Twinky Tuesday posts. Unfortunately. ‘Cuz yeah, I’ve been counting. Carefully. You can also expect another year of me promising myself to go back and fix the broken links from my hosting change, the ones that are now getting to be almost two years old. There’s also a new index/layout with drop-down menus I’ve been working on – but more often ignoring – too. So you can probably expect to not see that this year too. Ditto for updating the ‘About” link; I think I’ll let that one turn three before I do something about it.
The world’s loneliest wombat recently whined about the lack of new Sunday Funnies posts on my blog, and I gotta admit I miss those too. But I can’t do a weekly cartoon of just Jabba being a blowhard. Especially as he is now replacing Boo Hoo as my #1 fan. Those posts rely heavily on forum posters being, well, themselves. Or their uber selves. Which often takes some good trolling. So this one is on y’all. If you want more Sunday Funnies, you need to get busy stirring up the usual suspects on the message boards. It’s not hard to do. Hell, Michael/Scooby will go off on Surfcrest these days even on a thread that has nothing to do with him. So it’s time y’all start channeling your inner Beach Lover. ‘Cuz otherwise the 2016 Olympics are barely a year away, and ya know what that means.
Another year over, another year to look forward to, and since it is award season, another opportunity to thank those who’ve encouraged me to keep blogging either out of appreciation for what I do or just because I know what I do pisses them off. So thanks to each of you who regularly stop by, to the lower number who take time to post a comment, to ChristianPFC for being a human spell checker, to Surfcrest for hosting this blog so that I can post photos that are too risque for the regular blogging sites to handle, to all the hot Asian guys who take the naked selfies that make my Sunday Selfies posts, to Jabba for his tireless efforts in promoting my blog, and to Dave for buying that copy of The Gay Kama Sutra. ‘Cuz man cannot live by blogging alone.
11 Wednesday Feb 2015
Posted Gay Thailand
inI was originally going with the title How To Pick Up A Thai Guy for today’s post. I thought that maybe, after four years of blogging about scoring hot Thai guys, I should take a moment and write about non-bar boy and non-moneyboy hook ups. ‘Cuz there are some visitors who get on their moral high-horse but still want to get laid while in The Land of Smiles. Personally, I find the gogo bars an easier option. I’m lazy. And whether my trip is for one week or a full month, time is limited. With a bar boy I don’t have to spend hours on Gay Romeo or Grindr exchanging messages, setting a meeting time and place, and then hoping when that time arrives we both are still up for it. With a bar boy there’s no holding your breath that the guy who shows up at your door at least looks somewhat like his profile pictures. With a bar boy I already know exactly what I’m getting. ‘Cuz I’ve already seen him naked.
But I have, in the past, set up dates on-line, through my smart phone, and even picked up the occasional hottie at a pub or club. So I thought taking a look at those hook-ups and providing a few clues on how to meet non-working boys would be a refreshing change. No problemo. My fingers began flying across the keyboard. And then hit a brick wall. I don’t think The Beatles spent much time in Thailand. ‘Cuz not only can money buy you love, but for a visitor on holiday on Thailand love will always cost you something.
Wherever farang congregate, outside of the bar world, moenyboys abound. Some are up front about it. Some only bring money up after the act. Many tell you they are not a moneyboy and even get all huffy at the idea that they are, but then still go for the baht at the end of the evening. There was a thread on one of the gay Thailand message boards a while back about a farang who met a Thai guy in a bank, hooked up, and then was incensed that the guy wanted money from him after body fluids had been exchanged. And this from an old-hand too. He shoulda known better. One of the reasons they call it The Land of Smiles is that those smiling Thai faces always know, at some point, they’re gonna get rewarded with cash. A wad of baht is the Thai version of Pavlov’s dog’s bell.
You expect that those guys who’ve let age creep up on them and smack them across the face with an ugly stick will have to pay for their orgasms. Ditto for those whose looks or demeanor result in never getting laid back home. Fat, ugly, socially deficient, mentally incompetent, in Thailand it doesn’t matter, if your wallet is full. That’s one of its draws. Anyone can get laid for a price. And a damn cheap one at that. But what if you are still attractive? Or even young and attractive? What if you score all the sex you can handle back home? Surely you can hook up with a local hottie without it costing you a dime, right?
Dream on. Half of the hotties at DJ Station that you are interested in are more interested in the fat, ancient, looser with the huge bulge in his back pocket than they are in you. That’s not to say you can’t score a night in heaven thanks to nothing more than your youth and good looks. You can. But at some point, your wallet is still gonna play a supporting role.
Years ago I took a roommate to Thailand with me for his inaugural visit to the kingdom. Mark was hot. With thighs to die for, and ass sculpted by the gods, a dick that hung to his knees, and a smile that caused orgasms to flow when he strutted down the street, he could get laid in a nunnery. And on a scale of one to ten, his boyfriend rated a 12 too. Theirs wasn’t so much an open relationship as it was that the boyfriend forgave Mark’s dalliances with the excuse, “Yeah, but just look at him.”
Mark hooked up with a hot duck farmer he met at Babylon. Meanwhile I hooked up with a bar boy I fell in lust with. Three days later, when we’d both tired of our playmates and decided the grass was greener between someone else’s legs, Mark did the math. I’d paid off fees and tips daily, he had not paid a penny for his orgasms. And it had cost him several thousand baht more than my paid-for companionship had cost me.
If you are young enough and hot enough, if the timing is right, you can get your dick sucked at a sauna for free. As long as you ignore that you paid an admission fee to get into that sauna. If all the local disco divas swoon when you pull your shirt off on the dance floor at G.O.D., as long as it’s only about getting your nut off there’s an 80% chance you’ll get yours without even being asked for taxi money. If you are not trying to score outside of your league (and seriously then, why bother?) if the planets are all aligned you can find some guy on-line or off your phone who’ll be happy to take nothing more than what you want to give him, even if that’s nothing more than your load. If you play your numbers right, you can also win the lottery. And those odds are probably more in your favor.
That doesn’t mean that all Thai guys are whores. But be realistic about it. You’re in town for but a short period of time. The local guys you’ll meet are purposely hanging out where farang tourists are. If he really isn’t a moneyboy, both of you are only looking for a quickie. And his options are far grander than yours. Farang are not an exotic species. And unless you truly are god’s gift to gay men, he’s probably looking for a bit more than just dick. Because those are plentiful too.
It may only be a few rounds of drinks he otherwise couldn’t afford, a dinner at a restaurant he wouldn’t patronize if it was his wallet at risk, a night at a 5-star hotel he only dreamt about, or a bit of taxi money to get home that netted him a hundred baht or so to the good, but inevitably there’s gonna be something beyond your companionship that attracts him to you. And the more you deviate from his definition of desirability, the more compensation he’s gonna expect. The Beatles were right when they sang “Money can’t buy me love.” But when you are on holiday in Thailand, the local version of that sentiment, “No money, no honey” rules the day. Because for 99.999% of the Thai guys you’ll meet, it’s your money that is the real attraction.
That still doesn’t mean that all Thai guys are whores. Culturally, even among themselves, he who has the most money pays. And as a farang on holiday, you are perceived to be far richer than most local boys you’ll meet. He may not have headed out for the evening thinking: I’m gonna find a rich farang and have him pay for my evening. But he’ll still expect that you will. It’s the social norm in his life. And it’s the attraction of farang on holiday. There are plenty of local clubs he could go to instead that are more in line with his financial status. But the good life costs, and it’s always more enjoyable if someone else picks up that tab. And if he can finish off the night with a few hundred baht more in his pocket than he started the evening off with, why not?
So how do you pick up a Thai guy? Just like you would anywhere else in the world you are visiting. You go on-line, or pull up your favorite hook-up app. You hang out at bars, pubs, or clubs where the gay boys gather. You smile, be fun to be around, dress and look your best. And you make sure you take your ATM card with you. Because Thai guys are hot. And friendly. You will get laid. And it will be worth every penny you claim it didn’t cost you.
28 Wednesday Jan 2015
Posted Gay Thailand
inGay travel sites like to tell you that Bangkok is the Gay Mecca of SE Asia, that in Thailand you’ll find a warm and friendly people who willingly embrace gay visitors and smother them in tolerance. That’s because most gay travel site writers don’t know dick about Thai culture. And when they finally get down to telling you why Thailand is such a gay Mecca – in their view – you have to start wondering if they know anything about dick too.
Recently many of those sites trumpeted the inclusion of transgendered people in the new Thai constitution. Even though that’s still just a rumor. The Good General is not yet finished writing that document. But supposedly when he does sign off on it, the T community will be recognized. Thailand will finally have a third gender. And gay rights enthusiasts around the world are thrilled. Of course if you asked anyone in Thailand they’d tell you that ladyboys have nothing to do with being gay. And just because the new constitution may recognize their existence, that doesn’t mean equality is part of the package. Same-sex marriage still appears to be off the table. As the third gender being legally able to marry either of the other two genders – depending on the appendages or past existence of appendages involved – is still rumored to be too.
Nonetheless, gay travel writers continue to sing the praises of Bangkok as the gay Mecca of SE Asia. Even though Singapore is much more cruisy, Vietnam is making more headway toward marriage equality, and Taipei is turning positively pink these days. They point toward the complete lack of homophobia toward gay visitors in Thailand as proof, when in reality that’s more about Thai apathy toward farang idiosyncrasies. And that pink dollars are readily exchangeable for baht too. Sure, few if any hotels in Thailand will bat an eye at a guest checking in with a same-sex partner. And yes, TAT has an entire campaign geared at luring gay visitors to Thailand’s shores. But then no Thai is ever gonna let who is doing who – or what – behind closed doors get in the way of making baht. The idea that at a bakery would refuse to bake a cake for a same-sex wedding would just make them laugh. But that doesn’t mean equality is just around the corner.
Part of the confusion of just where Thai society stands on gay equality is that there is a world of difference between how gay tourists are viewed and how gay Thais are treated within that society. What appears to the casual visitor to be a happy free-for-all where every gender preference is cool ain’t quite as tolerant when it comes to being a gay Thai in Thailand. The gay travel writer view that Thailand is a hotbed of tolerance just ain’t true. At least not once you step outside of the gay ghetto visitors are familiar with. And even within those pink walls, just what, and who, qualifies as gay is not necessairly the same as you may think it is. Sure there are a few pubs and clubs catering to gay visitors in and around Silom Soi 4, but one small soi doesn’t a gay Mecca make. And for many in the gay travel industry, that’s where the Thailand gay experience begins and ends.
It’s all good and well to finish off your day at Telephone for some gay camaraderie and DJ Station for a chance at hooking up with a local lad, but everything else those sites suggest to gay tourists have nada to do with being gay. And sorry, a visit to one of the city’s ladyboy cabarets doesn’t count. Those are not geared toward family, but to breeders who want to gawk at the boys being girls.
Thailand is amazing. It holds many wondrous sites for tourists to enjoy. Everyone should see The Grand Palace (or try to). Everyone should check out Wat Pho, dine on the streets of Bangkok, shop ’til you drop, and then get a foot massage. There are more things to do and see in Bangkok alone than most visitor’s time in the country allows for. Gay visitors should visit Jim Thompson’s House of Silk for Sale, because rumor has it that Jimmy was gay. And because by Day #5 of their visit gay tourists are gonna be wondering where in the hell all the gay rainbows they were promised are.
When those who try to make a living out of the gay travel industry visit the kingdom they end up doing the exact same things that straight tourists do. They ride an elephant. Stay at a posh hotel (which is always billed as being ‘gay-friendly’ as though not every hotel in Thailand is). Dine at a four or five star restaurant where they can take in a four or three star view of Bangkok. And then spend a few hours on Soi 4 ‘cuz when you are gay and visiting the gay Mecca of SE Asia, you’d better find something pink to do. They may even brave the wilds of Patpong, Bangkok’s red light district. Where you need to step lively to avoid being run over by a stroller being pushed in front of a farang family and its gaggle of kids who also decided to take in the seamy-side of the Big Mango. And if they’re truly going balls to the walls, they may give a small nod to Soi Twilight, which is either portrayed as place no self-respecting gay man would ever actually visit, or as the home to a few small clubs that offer usually uniedntified but ‘risque’ nonetheless entertainment.
And there’s the rub. As it is at numerous happy ending massage shops spread around the city that cater to the gay male. Because what makes Thailand a gay Mecca is not a small soi of pubs, or a total indifference toward same sex hotel occupants, or that you can barely step outside of your hotel without stumbling over a ladyboy. What makes Thailand a gay Mecca is that any gay man can get laid there. By anyone and anything at anytime. What draws repeat gay visitors to Thailand is the happy endings they experienced before. What lures gay visitors to Thailand are the gogo clubs where they can watch boys being boys with other boys while wearing little to nothing. And then being able to pick out their favorite performer and take him back to their hotel for a more intimate performance. Bangkok doesn’t hold a gay pride parade. But nightly, there is a parade of smiling gay visitors making their way down the streets of Patpong, headed for a night of heaven.
Rule #1 of Madison Avenue is that sex sells. And there are few places on earth where you’ll find more sex for sale than in Thailand. But it’s an open secret that no one in the gay travel industry wants to talk about. ‘Sex tourist’ still invokes an image of a degenerate, elderly farang preying on the youth of a third world country. When anyone who’s spent a night on Soi Twilight knows that those guys may be on the prowl, but they are also the prey. The customer base of Bangkok’s bars has changed over the years; it’s now a younger, much less white crowd. Yesterday’s sex tourist has been replaced by today’s gay tourist. Who may, or may not, decide to indulge in a bit of commercialized sex while in town. It’s time for that which Thailand has always been known for – prostitution – to come out of the closet. Because that’s the country’s real claim to fame when it comes to being a gay Mecca.
The naughty shows have been toned down recently. And then bloomed back into full on fuck fests. But the less in-your-face variety of show is where the bars are headed. Hell, you can hardly find a ping pong ball in Patpong these days. And Patpong itself is featured in every guidebook and on every travel site as a nighttime shopping destination with a slightly risque side where you can buy the latest in over-priced knock-off goods. Or take in a show featuring Pussy Blow Candle. The locals have never hidden those places. And all the neon screaming Boys! in every color of the rainbow should clue you in that the sexy shows of Soi Twilight are not being hidden either. Thais have a less-than-prurient attitude towards sex. Or at least toward illicit sex. And just because it’s two penises involved – or more – doesn’t mean a thing. It’s a healthy attitude towards sex. And it’s that tolerance that sets Thailand apart as a gay Mecca. If only the gay travel industry would embrace the locals’ attitude.
TAT hired a New York based travel agency to design its campaign – Go Thai, Be Free – to encourage more gay visitors to come to the kingdom. That’s why there are so many rainbows displayed in the campaign’s literature and so few hot, young, strapping local lads reminding you of why Thailand is known as The Land of Smiles. That’s why listed hotels have nothing to do with a gay clientele. And why the cost of a night with a moneyboy is never mentioned. That campaign has nothing to do with the Thai openness about its commercial sex scene, and everything to do with the puritanical attitude toward prostitution that permeates America. ‘Cuz in the USA there is no room in gay pride for paid-for sexual encounters.
Not every gay tourist who visits Thailand wants to find the moneyboy of his dreams. Thailand is an affordable, exotic, foreign destination worthy of any tourist’s time. But that’s about being a tourist, not about being gay. Sex is not part of every tourist’s holiday plans. Not even every gay tourist’s. But when it is not, an occasional rainbow flag fluttering in the breeze has little to no impact on his stay. And we tend to avoid visiting those destinations where they behead boys who like boys anyway. If you are going to bill Thailand as a gay Mecca, there has to be something to set it aside from every other somewhat tolerant, somewhat inclusive, somewhat accepting destination. Or else everyone can just visit Miami Beach instead.
Thailand is a gay Mecca, but only when you quit trying to hide its naughty nighttime entertainment offerings. By doing so, you only further the notion that the country’s commercial sex scene is as repressed as it would be in your home country, which is the farthest thing from the truth. Thailand is accepting and tolerant of its gay visitors, but not because Thai society embraces gay equality. Because it does not. What it does accept is that gay boys will be gay boys and gay visitors are free to act as gay as they want to. Even when that means money is involved. Or especially when that means money is involved. Because in the end, a country’s tourism industry thrives on the money it brings in. Not on the brand of sexuality that accompanies that money.
01 Wednesday Oct 2014
Posted Blogs
inTags
I’m not sure why so many low-brow on-line commercial enterprises attempt to get business out of placing spam adverts in comment areas of blogs and websites, but it’s a popular pastime. I average 100 spam messages a day, 99.9% of which my filter catches and quarantines. I used to skim through them before deleting the day’s catch, just in case a bona fide comment got tangled in the mess. That didn’t happen enough to make it worth my time, so I ignore them now and with a single click empty out my spam folder. But I still occasionally browse through them first, just to see what the current fad in spam is. Knock-off Michael Kors bags are big. And I don’t even know what Michael Kors bags are. Occasionally I run across a spam comment that I really want to reply to for one reason or another and thought I’d share a few of those today – with their web address links deleted – so that I could:
You’ve got a talent for words.
Check out mƴ page :: chubby webcam girl
Thanks – but I’m not a fan of chubby boys and chubby girls’ vaginas look suspiciously like week old tacos. So I’ll pass.
After I originally commented I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I recieve four emails with the same comment. There has to be a means you are able to remove me from that service? Thanks!
Awwww, you spammed a few hundred blogs and now your email inbox if filling with unwanted messages?
My heart bleeds for you.
I lovеd as much as you will receive carried out right heгe.
The sketch is tasteful, your authߋreɗ material stүlish.
nonetheless, you command get bought an shakiness over that
you ѡish Ьe delivering the following. unwell unqueѕtionably come further formerly again as eхactly
the same nearly a lot оften inside case үou shiеld this hike.
Google Translate is a bitch, ain’ it?
Initially sentenced to only seven years back in 1974, he has spent the previous 36 years in jail, regularly adding to his first sentence due to a variety of offences committed whilst serving time.
Thank you but my past is not up for discussion.
My relatives all the time say that I am wasting my time here at web, however I know I am getting knowledge every day by reading such posts.
Do your relatives all know you’ve been reading a gay blog filled with photos of naked men?
They do now.
Oooops!
You realize, what have written?
Um, yes. That usually happens when you write something. Although obviously you aren’t partial to that talent yourself.
I don’t even know the way I finished up right here, but I believed this
post was once great. I do not understand who you’re however definitely you’re going to a
famous blogger if you are not already. Cheers!
Flattery will get you everywhere. Unfortunately that includes into a deleted spam folder.
I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your website. It’s very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often.
Thank you! It’s nice to hear from someone who doesn’t object to my use of white text on a black background for a change. You just became my favorite reader.
Today, I went to the beach front with my children. I found a sea shelland gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!
And as big of a fan as I am of stories about maimed children I was the perfect person for you to share that tale with. Mahalos!
An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a coworker
who had been doing a little homework on this.
And he actually bought me dinner simply brcause I discovered it for him…
lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thanks for the meal!!
But yeah, thanx for spending somme time to talk about this subject here on your site
Um, I’m guessing you and your co-worker are both dudes. And that dinner wasn’t a thanks but an I wanna do you.
12, voulez vivre, alors vous pouvez facilement vivre très facilement, mais si vous voulez vivre fatigué, il sera très fatigué. Si vous vous aimez, alors vous pouvez facilement vivre, si vous commencez à aimer d’autres personnes, la vie va commencer à s’emmêler, les gens fatigués.
Sorry. I only kiss in French.
It looks one women on their staff is enough.
That’s a good rule of thumb for any business.
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31 Sunday Aug 2014
Posted Sunday Funnies
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03 Sunday Aug 2014
Posted Sunday Funnies
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