Tags

NY1

Who knew when you are in a mature, adult, committed relationship and your boyfriend can’t get the time off to take a trip to Thailand for Christmas that you’re not supposed to say, “Shame that,” and take off on your own to whore your way through Bangkok for the holidays? I knew there was something fishy about that whole marriage equality thingy. And I don’t just mean all the newspaper photos of lesbians getting hitched.

So instead I’ve been told we’re going to Hawaii for New Year’s, which has advantages of its own. It’s been years since I’ve rung in the new year in Honolulu, and I’ve missed New Year’s Eve parties emptying out at about a quarter to twelve so everyone can rush home to light firecrackers off to keep the bad spirits away for the year. And it’s been too long since I’ve had to pay six times the normal price for ahu to make sashimi too. Plus in California you don’t get to just drop in on complete strangers on New Years Day ‘cuz everyone is happy to have an extra hand pounding mochi. I’ve always wanted to find a cute local dude nicknamed Mochi so I could pound him on New Years. It’s on my bucket list. And while I’m not a cute nickname kinda guy, since finding out we’re doing the islands for the holidays I’ve started calling Dave Mochi. He hasn’t figured out why yet. But thinks it’s cute.

Okay, so no boyfriend is perfect.

Nonetheless, I’ve years of experience doing the big countdown in Bangkok and thought I’d share just in case you’re still trying to figure out where to party on the 31st in the Big Mango.

NY2

Soi 4:
I’ve only spent one New Year’s Eve on Soi 4. It was crowded, packed wall to wall with party goers. There just wasn’t much of a party going on. Other than being busy, the only difference from a regular Saturday night was at the strike of twelve they dropped a bunch of balloons onto the soi between Balcony and Telephone. But it still qualified as a true Thai New Year’s celebration. The strike of twelve was more like twelve o’ two. Or three. Then everyone yelled Happy New Year! And went back to drinking.

Soi Twilight:
Unlike 99.9% of visitors to Soi Twilight, I actually enjoy the barkers and the stir they cause on the soi. So one year I thought it’d be fun to get in on the hustle and bustle. We spent the later part of the night hanging out at Banana, which was then the open-air bar at the foot of the soi across from Hot Male. Like Soi 4, it too was packed with bodies. Unfortunately most of those bodies belonged to straight backpackers who’d hit Patpong for the celebration and ended up in the only spot where they could dance in the street.

I was with an ex-bar boy friend. There was a fat British fish making moo-eyes at him all night, trying to entice him to dance with her. And more. I told him he was free to shake it if he wanted to. He laughed. And said, “She fat!” By which he meant, “She fat and won’t be giving me money.” She quit mooing at him when we swapped tongue at the strike of twelve.

NY3

Go Go Bars:
The bars put on special shows for New Year’s Eve in hopes of luring customers inside. Dream Boy and Tawan usually charge an admission fee that comes with a free drink. You’d think ringing in the new year with a bunch of naked guys surrounding you would be the ultimate New Year’s Eve party. And it would be. If there were enough boys working to surround you.

Bar boys like to party on New Year’s Eve too, and do their damndest to pre-book a customer so they don’t have to show up at work. So you’re dealing with the bottom of the barrel at the clubs that night. And there ain’t many punters either; most head to one of the city’s big countdown parties. Or off a guy early and are in bed asleep by nine. On the plus side, if you do choose to spend your New Year’s Eve in a go go bar, you’ll be mucho popular with the boys. Because the pickings are slim for them too.

One year Noom decided we needed to spend the night at his bar. It sucked. But don’t ever tell him I said that. He tried to make it special. There was a table with a Reserved sign on it for us when we walked in. Which probably would have meant more if every table around it wasn’t empty too. And that bar had a special Big Banana show that night which Noom had arranged for me to be one of the judges at. Like at any Big Cock Show! the bananas that night weren’t. And I don’t do millimeters. No problemo. It had already been decided who would win, which had nothing to do with size, and Noom let me know in advance so that I wouldn’t embarrass him.

NY4

Your Hotel.
Back in the day when you booked a hotel over either Christmas or New Year’s Eve in Bangkok they’d charge a mandatory ‘dinner’ fee for a party that you had no intention of going to. Not too many hotels do that any more. And if the one you choose does, you’re better off finding a different hotel.

That having been said, one of the more enjoyable New Year’s Eves we’ve spent in Bangkok was at the party at our hotel. It just wasn’t one put on by management. We’d made friends with a few of the security guards and snuck a cooler full of beer and a few bottles of whiskey up onto the roof to watch the firework displays being shot off all over town. Great view. Wild party. And it was fun knowing you are personally responsible for all the staff being hung-over the next morning.

The Hottest Club In Town.
A few years ago the hottest club in town burned to the ground on New Year’s Eve and took a lot of its patrons with it. So I’ve avoided those. But if you do, let me know how it went. If you still can.

NY5

Sanam Luang.
Sanam Luang by the Grand Palace is one the two biggest venues for the New Year’s Eve countdown in Bangkok. It’s a more local affair. And an older crowd too. The music is traditional, and there’s usually a few dance troupes too doing non-touristy traditional Thai dancing. But it’s crowded. And you’ll be sitting on the ground. Getting back to where you are staying can be a chore too. But for a more laid back but still bustling affair, it can be a lot of fun. We went once and probably would have again but the booze and seating flows more freely at . . .

CentralWorld.
The countdown at CentralWorld is the biggest party in Bangkok and at times it seems at least half of the city is there. They get name acts, none of which you’ll recognize or probably be able to pronounce. But it’s the people that are the most fun and everyone is intent on parting their ass off. This is the site for the biggest and best fireworks display too.

The first year we went we were part of the crowd in the street, just to experience what it feels like to be a Thai sardine. The next few years we went early that day and bought tickets for one of the beer gardens. You get a reserved table, munchies, and beer for (in past years) about $75 for a table of four. If it is just you and your boy du jour, invite some of his friends ‘cuz the minimum buy-in is a full table.

NY6

If you take the BTS in and out of the area, buy your return ticket when you get off the train; later the ticket machines are swamped and you’ll add at least a half hour to your trip home. Taxis and tuk tuks are plentiful at the end of the night too, but you’ll be paying whatever the asking rate is; there’s no paucity of passengers.

The best CentralWorld countdown we attended was the year we didn’t. I booked at room at Baiyoke on one of the upper floors facing the festivities. Comfortable, air-conditioned, and the countdown’s fireworks were a nice background to those we were busy making ourselves.