“I lie you”
“You hansum man”
‘”I lub you”

The standard repertoire of bar boys in Thailand has been taken as the god’s honest truth by many a punter over the years. Believing what your ears tell you is the first step down the slippery slope of falling in love with a bar boy and part of the experience that causes many visitors to return to the kingdom again and again. The illusion of love is a siren’s song hard to resist, at least until someone’s water buffalo dies and your ATM account gets tired of hearing that you need more money. But if that’s your typical experience in the Land of Smiles, and your wallet is groaning, “Not another trip to Thailand!” you may want to head up to Chiang Mai. There’s a new museum dedicated to your expert-level ability of suspending disbelief. And at only 300 baht, it’s the cheapest day filled with pretense and illusion you’ll ever have in the kingdom.

Thailand has perfected the art of illusion. In fact, their political landscape relies upon it. Being the sanuk loving folk that they are, the Thais allow visitors to get in on the fun too. You can pretend you’re getting a real bargain by haggling over prices at a night market, fake that you’re an adventure traveler while trying to stay awake riding on an elephant’s back, and convince yourself of your bravery by squaring off with a wild tiger face to face, even if one of those faces is so pumped full of sedatives the only real danger is that it might fall asleep on top of you. And now in Chiang Mai there’s a new attraction filled with illusions. The first of which is that it calls itself a museum. It’s not. It’s more of an amusement park. Where your brain gets to go on all the rides.

Art In Paradise is a three-storey, interactive theme park filled with giant waves to surf, dinosaurs to battle, dolphins to feed, and flowing fields of lava to pick your way across. Not to mention a two times as large as a human roll of toilet paper that you’ll be glad to see if you tried a bit too much of the street food at the Walking Street market the night before. You can visit Angkor Wat, Venice, and Egypt; become one with a masterpiece by Van Gogh, or have your photo taken interacting with a elephant without having to actually spend an hour riding one. But it’s all an illusion. Just like calling the exhibits there art. Or its location paradise. Or the admission fee it charges 300 baht. ‘Cuz locals get in for only 180. No problemo. It may be the best not 180 baht you spend in Chiang Mai.

Continuing that theme, while Art in Paradise is an attraction in Thailand, it’s not Thai. It’s the brain-child of Jang Kyu Suk, a South Korean artist. And it’s filled with the work of fourteen other South Korean artists. Some 130 of them. But your boy du jour will lub the place, and even if you are not a member of the Instagram generation, you’ll snap quite a few cool selfies yourself. Provided you bring a camera. Or as they are now known in the real word, cell phones. Because that’s the genius of the place. It’s not about using 3D Art to provide a realistic version of the unreal. It’s about you having your photo taken. Again and again and again. The attraction even provides directions showing you the best place to take photos or explaining how to interact to get the optimum 3-D effect in the photos you take.

Better yet, let the art inspire you and then watch all the other tourists copy your pose of peeing in the water a giraffe is drinking from, or rimming the subject of a Renaissance painting. In fact, the place probably could up its visitor count by renaming itself 130 Silly Things You Can Do With Your Penis. But then you probably already did 128 of those things while visiting Soi Twilight in Bangkok.

The reality of Art In Paradise is the $10 it costs to enter. And that it is a waste of money if you don’t have something with you to capture a few pix. Many of the exhibits require that you remove your shoes before entering, just like at most wats in town, so wear something on your feet easily removed. And you’ll have lots more fun interacting with a friend or two than by yourself, although from personal experience I’ll tell you that going with not one but two narcissists isn’t the best idea. Although watching them try to out-pose each other can be fun. At least for the first hour. On the other hand, that’s an hour or two you won’t spend listening to someone whine about having to visit yet another wat. And you pretending you didn’t hear them.

Located in a shopping mall pretending it’s not defunct right on Changklan Road in between the Shangri La and Empress hotels, Art In Paradise is easy to find. Or if you want to get into the spirit of things early, you can book a package tour that includes a stop at the attraction while pretending you are a traveler and not just another tourist. You can also visit the attraction’s website – http://www.chiangmai-artinparadise.com – for an incredible example of the illusion of someone who speaks English. Or afterwards, stop in their cafe for the illusion of a dining experience where money is no object. But the real fun is in actually visiting the place and having your photo taken doing all the things you didn’t do while visiting Chiang Mai.

Forget stopping off at Tiger Kingdom and facing the very real threat of being mauled by a tiger, your selfie at Art In Paradise of a 3D tiger attacking you is a safer option. And while there may have been too many tourists crowding the site to get a good shot of you ringing the bells at Doi Suthep, they’ve been recreated sans the crowds at Art In Paradise. There’s a thousand baht note on one of the walls your boy du jour will spend hours trying to remove just like he does with those in your wallet, and the depths of a beautiful swimming pool to cool off in await at Art In Paradise, unlike the water feature your hotel tried to pass off as a pool.

You can do the elephant experience in Thailand thingy at Art in Paradise, do some deep-sea diving, enjoy a visit with pandas – and actually see a few unlike a visit to the panda exhibit at the Chiang Mai Zoo, and have your photo taken with a Hill-Tribe child in full costume without having to shell over a handful of baht for that pleasure. About the only Thailand experience you won’t get to interact with at Art In Paradise is ladyboys. But then they are an illusion best experienced in reality anyway.

Art in Paradise Chiang Mai is open daily from 9:00 am until 10:00pm; it is suggested you plan on spending at least two hours to see all the exhibits. As mentioned, adult farang admission is 300 baht, your boy du jour’s will only run you 180. Unless you are a fan of Sunee Plaza and are pretending he is of legal age – children get in for 120 baht.

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