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Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the cinema . . .

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the cinema . . .

When your entire country sees dead people, ghosts are not something to be made light of. They are, however, not bad for drawing citizens’ attention away from what otherwise might be some bad publicity, like when your national airline crashes a plane. Ghosts pop up with an alarming frequency in Thailand, and whether they are to blame, rendered assistance, granted a wish or two, or just serve as a reminder that the supernatural too has a hand in fate, seldom does a week go by that the leading newspapers in the country fail to include a ghost story in their coverage. Obviously sex sells in Thailand, but things that go bump in the night do too.

Much like bar boys, ghosts in Thailand can be good or bad. There is an incredibly long roster of types of ghosts that Thais believe in. Most Thais will tell you they have seen a ghost. Some are to be prayed to for favor, others avoided at all costs. You never make fun of ghosts, or the belief in them, or you’ll risk pissing them off. Some are not so much malicious as mean spirited, causing minor problems and annoyances. Others, like phi tai hong, are to be avoided at all costs. Even those known to pass along lucky lottery numbers aren’t really trusted. Thai people are really afraid of ghosts. Considering some of the ladyboys you see around town, not to mention the average sex tourist, that it is ghosts that frighten your average Thai says a lot.

The latest apparition of ghoulish proportions to strike Bangkok was a rumor on Pantip, a popular Thai discussion forum, of hauntings at local movie theaters. That shows you just how scary social media today can be. You’d think that would have been the specter of a discussion about Keanu Reeves’ 47 Ronin which instead of being a blockbuster became the world’s #1 box office flop losing an estimated $149,518,762. Or any flick starring Shia LaBeouf. Or any recent Johnny Depp movie that he didn’t lisp through as a pirate. But instead the horror coming soon to a theater near you was that the SF Cinema chain always blocked off four to six seats in rows C through F in all of their theaters. Christian PFC probably thinks that’s so he can pay for a cheap seat and sneak into a more expensive one. But Whalephant, a forum member on Pantip, claimed it was because of ghosts.

Now that's scary.

Now that’s scary.

“It’s belief of cinema owners. I asked them,” user “Whalephant” claimed. “The unoccupied seats are for the guardian ghosts. They’re not for staff. Staff can watch movies any time. There are many available seats for staff.”

“I really did ask them,” he added because even Thais know if you repeat a lie enough times it will be true. And then much like a reported sighting of a incredibly cute twink at a Soi Twilight beer bar results in a multi-page response on the gay Thailand forums, Whalephant’s thread took off on Pantip with user after user after user after troll chiming in with everything but facts to support the movie chain’s practice of reserving premium seats for its residents ghosts. Like even a ghost would actually sit through a showing of Transformers: Age of Extinction.

SF Cinema promptly responded to the rumor that Thailand’s top theaters routinely reserve the good seats for theater guardian ghosts at every show time. “We would like to clear up any confusion regarding the unoccupied seats that are not on sale,” a SF Cinema customer service rep said. “Those seats are backups in case customers book broken seats or spill water on their seats. For those who suspect that the seats are left for the guardian ghosts, customers can be ensured there are no such thing as ghosts in our theaters.”

You can't get much scarier than Shia LaBeouf naked.

You can’t get much scarier than Shia LaBeouf naked.

Pantip forum posters, of course, ignored the theater chain’s denouncement believing it to be as truthful as Jabba The Butt’s frequent utterings that the under-age moneyboy problem that made Sunee Plaza what it is today is a thing of the past. The locals may believe in ghosts, but aren’t quite so foolish as to believe the word of a major corporation. And if Tammy and Sex Tape didn’t prove just how horrific things can get in a cinema, then nothing does.

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