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Well, I did warn you the events of the past weekend may well spill over into today’s post too. Thanks to yesterday’s, my phone has been ringing off the hook as friends spread across the country who knew Dave and I back in the day weighed in on the unexpected – or not – turn of events, most calling just to crow, “I knew he was gay!” I’m sure Dave will be pleased to know he’s the only one who didn’t think that.
Most friends have been supportive, a few worried, and Ann, who’s never been one to not speak her mind, told me to pass on to Dave that it’s a good thing she’s on the other side of the country or she’d be slapping his little rainbow-colored head silly. Evidently, I now find out, she sat Dave down for a heart-to-heart years ago to tell him it was time to man up, admit he was gay, and get on with being the happy couple she knew we would be. Um, Dave can consider himself told.
You’d think with those events still fresh, yesterday’s lengthy post, and an evening full of phone conversations, I would have had enough and looked for something to take my mind off the subject. Like catching up on internet porn. Instead I called Noom, which is something I don’t do often. He relies on facial expressions to make sense out of a lot of the English thrown his way, so it’s usually better to email him, which gives him time to attempt to translate those words before he has to respond. But in a pinch, mouth to ear ain’t bad either:
“Remember my friend Dave?”
“Dave?”
“Tall, brown, went to Chiang Mai with us?”
“Oh. We go Chiang Mai Dave. How Dave?”
“Dave’s gay.”
“I know. How Dave?”
“Dave’s fine. But he’s gay now.”
“We go Chiang Mai Dave?”
“Yes, that Dave.”
“Dave gay in Chiang Mai.”
“Why? Because he got into bed with us?”
“No Dave gay Chiang Mai. Dave gay Bangkok. Dave ever gay. I tell you she gay.”
“He gay, not she gay. He’s not a ladyboy.”
Noom spent a minute enjoying his braying laugh. “Dave ugly ladyboy.”
“Yeah well I tell him you said to never do drag.”
“What?”
“Never mind.”
“You satay wit Dave now?”
“No. I’m still with Phil.”
“Good.”
“Why? I thought you liked Dave?”
“I lie Dave. I lie Phil more.”
“Why?”
“Dave drink too mucht.”
“Yeah, well there is that.”
“Phil know?”
“Yeah Phil knows.”
“How Phil?”
“Phil’s good. But a little bit pissed.”
“Good.”
“It’s good Phil is pissed?”
“What you mean?”
“Never mind.”
“When you come see me Bangkok?”
“I dunno. I think early November.”
“Oh. You bring Phil?”
“I dunno. We haven’t decided yet.”
“Oh. You bring Dave?”
“Probably not. Loi Krathong is early this year so maybe I’ll bring Phil.”
“We go Yee Peng Chiang Mai?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Good. You come wit Phil.”
“Not Dave?”
“Dave ever go Chiang Mai.”
“But not during Yee Peng.”
“Better you satay wit Phil.”
“Okay, gotchya.”
“I sleeping now.”
“Okay, pleasant dreams.”
“Pleasant dream . . .hehehehe . . . I dream Phil puncht Dave.”
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Paul said:
Looks like you have choices to make! Never easy.
Bangkokbois said:
Yeah, I just wish one of those choices wasn’t becoming a Buddhist monk.
Xiandarkthorne said:
I think Noom just gave you the best advise you are going to get regarding the matter.
Bangkokbois said:
Phil agrees.
🙂
Dekar said:
Well if this donation button idea isn’t paying off 😀
Bangkokbois said:
Ahhh geeze! Didn’t think about that. I’d have to start another fund for Dave.
Damnit!
jeffreymonsoon said:
While I feel for Dave, and can empathise with him, I can’t help thinking that he was incredibly manipulative of you and especially Phil. I’m trying to choose my words carefully because no one really wants to hear a stranger bad mouth a friend (even when they asked for comments), but on so many levels he really fucked with Phil.
I think when you’re going through a major upheaval in life you can be a little blind to the damage your singular focus can cause in other peoples lives. He could have very easily, in a city as big as Vegas, sought out the help of a therapist to help him with coming out, and all the various situations that would entail.
You’re going to have to decide if this was a momentary lapse in judgement or par for the course, but just going by the way the situation unfolded as you told it, I’m with Noom on this one.
“Pleasant dream . . .hehehehe . . . I dream Phil puncht Dave.”
(I won’t be offended if you don’t publish this comment, it’s not my intention to kick someone if this was out of character for Dave. However in that case I’ll expect pictures of Phil at least down to a jockstrap in my mailbox forthwith.)
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks Jeffrey, for me too this has been an issue. Dave knows he could have called me directly and asked that I come to see him and he knows I woulda been there pronto, without question. So involving Phil in the way that he did was not necessary. I’m trying to cut him some slack on this ‘cuz I know the whole coming out thingy is difficult to deal with, but – as you said – ignoring how your actions may cause damage or hurt to others is still wrong. Phil, on the other hand, is taking it a lot better than I. He too wishes Dave had taken a different approach, but now totally sympathizes with him and completely forgives him for acting as he did. The two of them have been talking on the phone almost daily. My man amazes me!
While he’s being so reasonable, I’ll try to get those jockstrap photos for ya . . .
jeffreymonsoon said:
😀
pussy said:
oh!he is so attracctive I wanna suck his dick