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Is it live or is it Memorex?

Is it live or is it Memorex?

Stray thoughts that enter Noom’s mind often take on the intensity of a pit bull whose jaws have just clamped down on some unsuspecting fool’s leg. And yeah, I usually get to play the part of said unsuspecting fool. Throw in his national pride, a trait that seems to be genetically implanted in every Thai, and it makes for interesting developments when we are mapping out travel plans. Way back, his family came across the border from Laos. So seeing his native land was always one of his desires. Or at least it became one once we’d hooked up and he started getting to travel. It took a few years for that desire to plant itself in my soul too, but we eventually made the trip and Noom was a happy camper. Suggestions that he accompany me on trips to Burma and Cambodia have not gone over as well.

Noom can not forgive the Burmese for what they did to Thailand back in the 1500s. I think. Or it could be their more recent transgressions. From the 1700s. Mention the Burmese today and his face gets serious and grim. His mutterings, “I keel them!” kinda sum up his basic opinion of his neighbors to the north. So Burma is off our travel plans. Not that he wouldn’t go. I’m just not sure whether or not he’d be free to get back on the plane to return home. He’s not quite as militant about Cambodia. There’s some resentment there, but it tends to come and go with the same frequency as the not infrequent skirmishes along the two countries’ shared border. And while I know there is a part of him that would love to see the temples of the Angkor Wat complex just outside of Siem Reap, there’s a much bigger part of him that needs to find disapproval with those architectural feats of wonder. That’d be the Thai part of him.

We spent several hours at an Asia Books branch one afternoon, when I’d stopped in to check out the latest best sellers and Noom became engrossed in their offerings of guidebooks. Of Thailand. When I tracked him down, he was flustered and a little bit pissed. I’d just returned from a short trip to Siem Reap and he wanted to show me in a guidebook that Thailand too had ancient Khmer temples. He just couldn’t find what he was looking for in the pile of books growing at his feet. That crisis was averted once I agreed the publishers hadn’t a clue about his country since they’d stuck the section he was looking for in the wrong part of their books. And I agreed, at some unspecified point in the future, we’d make the trek out to see Thailand’s version of Angkor Wat. Without mentioning those structures were smaller, less impressive, more run-down, and more difficult to get to. Having shown me there was no good reason to leave his country to see Khmer wats, Noom, once again, was a happy camper.

mini wat #2

But he knows me well enough that he sensed I wasn’t really thrilled with the idea of that trip. So the pit bull within him went to work. Which manifested itself early one morning a few months later when just after breakfast he announced, “Come! We go!” and pushed my camera bag into my hands to signify his plans for the day did not include shopping. Or at least shopping wasn’t the primary focus. ‘Cuz with Noom any excursion involves shopping at some point.

I’ve learned when Noom has a plan to not ask questions. If I do, and if I get an answer at all, it’s that it’s a surprise. I’d like to argue that surprise or not, he will get lost, he will get antsy at not being able to find whatever his surprise is, and that a few minutes spent on the internet could instead easily lead us directly to wherever it is we are going. Instead I suck it up, let him take the lead, and remind myself I’m on holiday and even being lost has value. This time around things when smoother than normal. Retracing steps we’d made countless times before we eventually ended up at the Grand Palace. And then got lost.

Being Thai, Noom sucks at directions. And asking other Thais for further directions only makes matters worse. Finding Wat Phra Kaew where the famous Emerald Buddha rests, for example, is not a difficult feat. Unless you are Thai. So after an hour of wandering aimlessly with much purpose, Noom finally let loose with that much of the surprise. Five minutes later the farang led him to our intended destination.

mini wat #3

As many times at I’ve visited the Grand Palace, I’ve only bothered with Wat Phra Kaew once, on the first visit. The Emerald Buddha is kinda tiny. Which would still be cool if it was actually made of emerald. But it is chiseled out of a dark green jasper, which as stones go doesn’t rate as precious and rates so far down on the semi-precious ranking that unscrupulous dealers, rather than mess with it as jasper, try to pass it off as jade instead. And not the expensive kind of jade at that. But the Emerald Buddha was not the reason we were at Wat Phra Kaew. The miniature replica of Angkor Wat was. Yup, you can visit Cambodia without ever leaving Bangkok. Which was the whole purpose behind Noom’s need to show me the mini Angkor Wat.

I’m not sure why King Rama IV decided his mock-up of Angkor Wat needed to be displayed in what is considered one of Thailand’s holiest holy spots. I do know that in the mid-1800s he sent a team of surveyors to Cambodia to map out the complex with plans on disassembling the temple, moving it to Thailand, and then reassembling it again. The move turned out to be logistically impossible. So he ordered his mini version constructed instead. Maybe he housed it at Wat Phra Kaew so it would be easy for his subjects to find. If so, he obviously didn’t know the Thai people very well.

Considering what the model makers in Hollywood do these days just so Godzilla has a town to destroy, Bangkok’s mini-Angkor Wat is a bit of a let down. Personally, I’d have been more impressed if it was of the Bayon instead, but then I prefer that temple’s ginormous leering heads to the scope and grandeur of the Angkor Wat compound anyway. It is quite detailed, and reported to be built exactly to scale. And you have to give its creators of the day props for the intricate work they did in sculpturing the sandstone to look like the real thing both in color and scope. I know Noom was quite taken with it. Or was quite taken with himself for having discovered its existence.

mini wat #4

If you are interested in seeing Thailand’s model of Angkor Wat, it’s located just outside of the Temple of the Emerald Buddha, and within the Grand Palace grounds. So it’s a better deal if you are going to see the Grand Palace and spend a few minutes checking out the mini Angkor Wat too as the admission cost is the same. For not that much more, you can fly to Siem Reap and see the real thing. I probably should also mention there is a much smaller and even less impressive version at the Royal Palace in Phnom Penh, though to be that close and not go see the real thing probably has a negative effect on your karma. As I’m sure would visiting the even smaller and even less impressive version at Mini Siam and Mini Europe in Pattaya. But then if you hit Pattaya your karma has already been bloodied, no doubt.

Outside of wanting to please your bar boy friend and current love of your life, I don’t know that I’d recommend making a special trip to the Grand Palace just to see a scaled-down version of Angkor Wat. But then I wouldn’t suggest that excursion just to see the Emerald Buddha either. If Noom hadn’t been so pleased with himself, I would have parroted back one of his favorite phrases, “Not real.” But if you are at the Grand Palace, it is worth a few minutes of your time. And if you are headed out to Siem Reap and the real deal, it’s a great introduction and gives you an even better idea of the layout, magnitude, and sheer size of Cambodia’s version of Angkor Wat.

mini wat #5

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