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Patpong is home to Bangkok’s gay gogo bars, which is why so many gay visitors also make it their home away from home.

Patpong is home to Bangkok’s gay gogo bars, which is why so many gay visitors also make it their home away from home.

Apologies for the length of yesterday’s post covering the major hotels in the Patpong area, but then I know many of you are size queens so I guess it’s all good. Today’s post is the third part in a series about the hotels in Bangkok that cater to or are popular with gay travellers, the second part of my coverage of Patpong hotels, and the first time I’ve had to divide a single post into three. Not that brevity has ever been one of my strengths anyway.

Of the hotels I’m covering today, I’ve only stayed at one of them. The others I’ll list with a few brief notes so that all possible choices in the areas (that I know of) are covered. That’ll provide closure for my coverage of the hotels in and around the Suriwong end of Bangkok’s red light district. I wouldn’t bother even noting some of these, but my therapist says closure is a good thing. Then again he is constantly telling me not to refer to people as ‘it’ too, so I’m not convinced he really knows what he is talking about.

I hope some readers will weigh in on those hotels I don’t have personal experience with. Feel free to speak up if my opinion of those I have reviewed differs from yours too. Because my reviews are my opinions, and others may disagree. What is important in a hotel to some matters little to others. What makes a hotel good to one guest, is what makes their stay unacceptable to another.

How you go about enjoying a hotel room differs from one guest to the next.

How you go about enjoying a hotel room differs from one guest to the next.

A few years ago I had a group of friends join me on a trip to Thailand, and we stayed at my current home away from home, Centre Point Silom. They seemed happy with the choice at the beginning of the trip. When we checked back in for the final few days at the end of our holiday, not so much. It’d been a long trip, we were all worn out, and I initially assumed that combined with two of them being smack dab in the middle of their time of the month was to blame. Nope. They were unhappy with the full sized fridge in their room not being stocked like a mini bar. It was too much of an imposition to them to have to walk across the street to buy a six pack (at half the cost of what a mini bar charge would be). I thought the full sized fridge was a bonus, and having room to store whatever I purchased outside the hotel in it an additional plus. Who knew?

But that’s the problem in recommending one hotel over another. You never really know what it is that someone wants, or expects, out of a place. I hope that the twelve areas that I’ve come up with, which matter to me, matter to you too. Or at least provide enough of an idea about each hotel to help you decide if it is an establishment you want to try or not. As for me, I’ll keep checking out new places; I’m still looking for the perfect lodging in Bangkok, and while a few places have come close none has yet kept me from continuing my search.

Now on to the rest of the Patpong hotels . . .

<De Arni Hotel

de arni

Sitting directly on Suriwong near the lane that leads back to The Rose, De Arni likes to bill itself as a 3.5-star hotel. At least they got the .5 part right. This place is a good example of what happens to a cheaply built hotel a mere five years after opening its doors. It already looks like it’s been around for twenty and is crying out for a major face-lift. Think of a Kardashian if it lost its access to Daddy’s money. That’s the De Arni. It’s headed to a future as a hostel. Or worse, a future of being impregnated by Kanye West.

Location. Location, Location: 3
The Shower Experience: 1
Bed Head: 1
A Clean, Well Lit Place: 1
Breaking Your Fast: 3
The Hired Help: 2
The People Next Door: 2
You Gets What Ya Pay For: 2
Gay-Friendly: 1
Extras: 1
Getting In And Getting Out: 2
Brownie Points: -2

OVER ALL SCORE: 17 out of 60 = 1

The Shower Experience: When a property touts that its rooms include a private bathroom, that tells you where their starting point is and you have good reason to be concerned. Even then, I’d argue sharing your bathroom with a colony of mold spores does not then qualify as private. On the other hand, if you are into nostalgia, actually seeing a plastic bath mat in use should give you the warm fuzzies. As long as you can overlook the green fuzzies growing on it.

Responding to a promotional sign I’d chanced upon one night in Patpong that offered a room with breakfast for $40, I stopped by De Arni and booked a short stay for thee following week when I’d be back in Bangkok before flying off elsewhere once again. When I returned and was shown to my room I took a quick look around and then headed back to the front desk to book something larger than a closet. That standard room only had a tub and hand-held shower head. And the aforementioned vegetation. The room I ended up with, which was now a $60 room, was larger but replicated the closet’s water closet. I’m told the even higher priced rooms have a walk-in shower instead, but I was more inclined to walk out. Of the entire establishment.

Bed Head: I’d blame my night of restless sleep on the bed being one of the hardest I’ve yet experienced in Thailand, but that probably had more to do with the room’s paper thin walls and constant interruption of my draems by conversations being held next door and down the hall.

A Clean, Well Lit Place: Between the natural light from the windows and recessed ceiling lights, the room at De Arni was bright enough. Considering it less than stellar degree of cleanliness, that might not be a good thing. Housekeeping seemed to hold to the philosophy ‘out of sight, out of mind’ and then kept one eye glued shut to make sure there’d be no good reason to bother with most of the dirt and dust that might otherwise be obvious.

Breaking Your Fast: You don’t expect a lavish spread to be put on for $40 a night, and at this De Arni satisfied. A mini if somewhat limited buffet, it wouldn’t be worth the 230 baht they charge if it doesn’t come with your room, but for free it was okay. Just get there early, ‘limited’ is not just in scope but in quantity too.

The Hired Help: Though generally failing miserably at their job duties, I assume the problem with the staff has more to do with management, or lack thereof. Having said that, most of the staff was friendly enough and the front desk didn’t cop attitude as a defense when I immediately switched rooms upon check-in.

de arni room

The People Next Door: I was amazed as small as this hotel was – it has 56 rooms – that they still managed to book in a bus tour group. In a large hotel that can be problematic but avoided. In one of the De Arni’s size, especially after such a poor night’s sleep, you quickly begun to hope you are in the middle of a bad dream and are not really part of the bus crowd.

You Gets What Ya Pay For: De Arni is a great value if what you paid for was to have your senses abused. Otherwise, not so much. Free wi-fi and a flat screen TV helps, and if the cheaper room wasn’t so tiny it’d be an acceptable value for staying in Patpong. By the time you move up in price to a room that has some, the value begins to quickly dissipate.

Gay-Friendly: I really hate joiner fees. Not because of the cost but rather it’s nothing more than a hotel’s desire to make a few bucks off your orgasm. Then again considering the size of De Arni’s standard room, they would have to clean the results off all four walls so maybe in their case it’s a 500 baht housekeeping fee. But okay, some properties charge joiner fees. That’s life. This was, however, the first time I was asked to sign an acknowledgment that I’d be charged for bringing back a guest at check-in. I coulda saved myself an unpleasant stay by walking out right then and there.

Extras: No pool but they did have a small gym. And they offered an in-house massage service.

Getting In And Getting Out: Other than the aforementioned need to sign a release for being charged if you brought a guest back to the hotel, check-in ran smoothly. Even when I’d upgraded and switched rooms. I checked out after one night, my first time for doing so in Thailand. That, as you might guess, wasn’t quite as smooth. Remaining polite with a fake smile plastered on my face, I eventually got my prepaid lodging back, but then I wasn’t that concerned ‘cuz I could always let my credit card company do battle for me later.

Brownie Points: My mother taught me that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. So I’ll just deduct 2 point for the overall worst Thailand hotel experience and let that suffice.

<The Montien:

The Montien is a 475 room $58 – $88 hotel that has been around for ever, and the rooms look it. I’m not a big fan of large hotels so that is part of why I’ve never stayed here. More so is that they charge a joiner fee and I’ve read reviews that the help is a bit abusive about the whole process.

The Montien

The Montien

montien room

<Tawana Bangkok

Formerly the Tawana Ramada, this 265 room hotel is located across from the soi where the Tawan bar is so it was always tempting to book except they too charge a joiner fee and again I’d heard their attitude was less than desirable even after having made a buck by pimping out your room.

The Tawana Bangkok

The Tawana Bangkok

Tawana room

<The Suriwongse Hotel

I wouldn’t include The Suriwongse Hotel in this list except (and to my surprise) it is bookable on a few of the major hotel booking sites. I thought they only booked short-time rooms for those who just offed a boy from Jupiter. Huh. Regardless of costs, a hotel shouldn’t take a wham, bam, thank you mam attitude to what it offers guests. At $45 to $65 bucks a night, since that doesn’t include a blow job, you can do better elsewhere.

The Suriwongse Hotel

The Suriwongse Hotel

suriwongse room

<The BBB Inn

Ditto for the BBB Inn. I was amazed Agoda books rooms here. I mean for longer than an hour. Through Agoda rooms run $40 – $50, but I’m pretty sure at a walk-in rate your room would come with a boy. At first I laughed at it’s official name being BBB Inn Gay Hotel, but then considered a newbie to Bangkok probably wouldn’t know it’s actually a flophouse. And that ain’t funny. Okay, it is a little bit funny.

The BBB Inn

The BBB Inn

BBB room

<The Wall Street Inn / The Pavillion Place / Strand Inn Hotel

Pretty much interchangeable, these are all hotels that cater to the sex tourist, those who live and breath paid sexual companions and have no other interest than in where their next orgasm is coming from. All are in the middle of Patpong and all run around $40 a night. I doubt that you are gay would bother anyone at any one of these places, but they do tend to cater to our straight brethren.

Wall Street Inn

Wall Street Inn

wall street room

The Pavillion Place

The Pavillion Place

pavilion place

The Strand Inn

The Strand Inn

Wrapping It Up: And yes, you always should before playing, and playing is what Patpong is all about. It wasn’t until I began writing this post that I realized how often I’ve stayed in this area over the years. So I guess even I have to concede to its popularity. I just can’t help but mention yet again how much better you can do accommodation wise but a five minute taxi ride away.

Interestingly to me, I scored the more pricier establishments higher for this area. I enjoy staying at nicer hotels, but Bangkok accommodations are all about value to me and there are plenty of places that run in the $50 – $75 a night range where value and comfort are well met. I think that in Patpong, however, you are paying an entertainment tax, so those charging in that range really are more in line with under $50 a night hotels elsewhere in town. Not that the next area I cover does any better. It too is part of Patpong, but over on the Silom side where the gay pubs and clubs are instead of the gogo bars.

(Note: Not only are the hotel and room photos not mine in these lodging posts, but I have tried to include only shots from travelers, rather than the heavily retouched ones from the hotels themselves. In most cases, unless my review spoke of a higher level of room, the photo is of their standard room.)

(Note 2: For pricing, I used Agoda for a 5 night stay that included a Saturday night in mid July. That was an arbitrary decision – my desire was to use comparable pricing for these properties. Depending on when you book and when you are planning on having your vacation these prices may be higher, or if you are lucky, lower.)

This probably would have been a handy map to have included in the first part of this post, even if it is not to scale.

This probably would have been a handy map to have included in the first part of this post, even if it is not to scale.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:

Bangkok’s Best Hotels For The Gay Guy: Keeping The Red Light On (Part 1: The Majors)

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