This is the first in a series of posts covering Bangkok Hotels for gay visitors. Yesterday’s post was an introduction to the series and describes the rating system I’ll be using for each hotel reviewed. Today’s post covers the area of town that most newbies assume is where they’ll want to stay: Bangkok’s red light district and home to the majority of gay gogo bars catering to the tourist crowd, Patpong. As a location for sex tourism, it can’t be beat. As a location for pretty much everything else, it sucks. And that’s the one thing all of the hotels in today’s post share: location. That won’t hold true for the other areas I cover.
(Note: I consider Patpong hotels to be those on and around Suriwong; those at the opposite end on Silom and those at the far end of Suriwong will be covered in a different posts.)
Begrudgingly I’ll award a few positive points to Patpong hotels on location since everyone else in the world seems to think it is where you need to stay if you are gonna be hitting the gogo bars. But I disagree. There are other areas just a short taxi ride away where you’ll get better value and which are more convenient for getting around the rest of the town. Yes, stay in Patpong and you will have only a short walk to get to the bars. But that walk will be in Bangkok’s heat and humidity, not to mention along crowded sidewalks overflowing with all the other visitors to Bangkok who are out for a night of risque entertainment. I’d rather take a short ride in an air-conditioned taxi and get out cool and refreshed to step directly onto Soi Twilight and into my favorite bar.
The closest BTS station to where you’ll be staying at these hotels is Sala Daeng, which I do not consider a ‘short’ walk away. These hotels like to say it is five minutes away, but ten is closer to being true. And that is not convenient. Taxis may be plentiful, but at night will only accept a fixed fare unless you are willing to walk to the outskirts of the district before catching one. And tuk tuks consider anyone staying in Patpong to be a rube – even more so than normal – and charge accordingly. If you are trying to get back to your hotel once the night’s entertainment has begun, trying to convince a taxi to take you to Patpong can be difficult at times, though you will do better by adding ‘Suriwong’ than allowing the driver to think he will have to battle the traffic on Silom. So transportation-wise this area sucks.
On a more positive note, there are convenience stores on almost every corner, lots and lots of restaurants, and the ever entertaining night market to boot. Ditto for money exchange booths. But for cheap laundry services, not so much.
Having said that, once I started listing the hotels in this area I realized with the exception of those catering to sex addicts and one I’d never hard of before, I’ve stayed at each of these properties at least once. I guess the allure of being close to the gogo bars is stronger than I thought. Granted all except one of my stays were for short periods of time, three days max with most being only for a night or two. And perhaps that’s a consideration I’d not thought of; if your visit is limited in length, a hotel in Patpong may be the right way to go.
Listing them all in one post, however, may not be. What I originally thought would be a small handful of hotels to review, quickly grew to well over a dozen. So I’m dividing them into two posts, this one will cover the better known and/or more popular Patpong hotels, tomorrow’s post will cover the smaller, less popular, and less liked or well-known establishments.
Again, all of the following hotels get the same score for location; I just don’t see that any one is better in this regard than is its neighbors. As much as I’d like to award a 2, I’ll pander to the crowd and score a 3 in this case. Now on to the hotels:
<The Rose Hotel:
Location. Location, Location: 3
The Shower Experience: 1
Bed Head: 3
A Clean, Well Lit Place: 2
Breaking Your Fast: 1
The Hired Help: 4
The People Next Door: 3
You Gets What Ya Pay For: 2
Gay-Friendly: 4
Extras: 3
Getting In And Getting Out: 5
Brownie Points: -1
OVER ALL SCORE: 30 out of 60 = 2
Down a dark and dingy lane off Suriwong, the 70 room Rose Hotel has a loyal following, primarily for its rep for turning a blind-eye to whatever it was you decided to haul back to your hotel room. Unfortunately, the hotel tends to turn a blind eye to everything else too. Though renovated a few years ago, there’s not much you can do with an ancient structure and the rooms still look and feel dated. Rooms run from the mid $50s to about $100 for their version of a suite. Your best bet is to book one without breakfast.
The Shower Experience: Tubs were all the rage when this hotel was built and that’s still what you get for a shower stall. Along with a nice collection of mold. That’s a shame because the water pressure and lack of fluctuating water temperature would otherwise be a nice way to start your day.
Bed Head: The beds at the Rose are firm but not hard. But they still use sheets, blankets, and a bedspread as linens, which while clean are quit worn. Other than the pillows being on the small side, the bed was less than memorable, which while not positive isn’t a bad thing either.
A Clean, Well Lit Place: Good lighting both natural and electrical, though not so much in the bathroom. But then considering the state of the bathroom, maybe that’s a good thing. I will note here that when you go with earth-tones for your decor, as a general rule it should be colors that are actually found in nature.
Breaking Your Fast: You’ll be charged extra for a refill on your coffee when eating at the hotel’s free set-menu breakfast; it’s served in the Rose Hip Restaurant, which should clue you in that you are not gonna get the whole flower. On my stay for day one we had the experience, on day two I sent Noom down to eat both of our breakfasts so he could get filled, on Day three, we went down the street for breakfast instead.
The Hired Help: The housekeepers did their jobs well and in a timely manner, the bell hops out front were always good for a joke and a laugh, and the one who would hit the elevator button for you seemed to be in on the joke that his job is. When I think of the Rose’s staff, a big smile comes to mind, and you can’t get much better than that.
The People Next Door: For the most part you did not hear the other guests while in your room, and in the lobby the majority were friendly; with many obviously gay guests it was easy to get into brief and friendly conversations.
You Gets What Ya Pay For: I’ve already dinged the Rose for its crappy breakfast, and have already noted you can get better value by staying outside of Patpong. This is a basic, striving to be a 3 star hotel, so the somewhat cramped room I could live with. Rooms come with a standard sized mini-bar and a television from the ‘80s with a limited number of channels. There is also a writing desk in the rooms, well-lit and of a height that you can still fit your legs and chair underneath.
In-room amenities are lacking, those are the kind of things you just automatically expect and only miss when they are gone. Kinda like your grandparents. Air-conditioning is by individual window units, which drip and can be noisy. But again that’s about what is to be expected in this class of a hotel. Being charged 300 baht a day for internet access, however was beyond the pale. That adds $15 to the cost of your room, which makes the Rose not that good of a deal or value.
Gay-Friendly: With it’s rep the Rose shoulda scored a five in this category. But it is the only hotel in Bangkok that I’ve run across that has a higher room charge for two guests, usually you can book a double for the same price as a single. Having heard how open they were to overnight gusts, I booked a single and then had Noom, unregistered, stay with me every night. At checkout I got scolded and warned next time I’d be charged the double fee. No problemo. There will be no next time.
Extras: For the size and category of hotel, the pool is awesome. And just off to its side is an adequate fitness room. And though I’ve yet to dine there, the Ruen Urai Fine Thai Cuisine built in a old teak house (which serves as a backdrop for the pool area) gets excellent reviews.
Getting In And Getting Out: Both checking in and checking out were quick and efficient. Even more so than you would usually call efficient in Bangkok.
Brownie Points: The Rose lost a point here thanks to its elevator. Which is small, though that is the norm in Bangkok. But it does not go to the upper floors. You have to get out and walk up a flight of stairs. And it is not very good at judging where the floors are – as when using the Tube in London, mind the gap!
<Tarntawan Place Hotel:
Location. Location, Location: 3
The Shower Experience: 2
Bed Head: 3
A Clean, Well Lit Place: 3
Breaking Your Fast: 3
The Hired Help: 5
The People Next Door: 4
You Gets What Ya Pay For: 4
Gay-Friendly: 5
Extras: 1
Getting In And Getting Out: 2
Brownie Points: +2
OVER ALL SCORE: 37 out of 60 = 3
The 75 room, 3-star Tarntawan is a gay institution in Bangkok and many guests appreciate being part of its primarily gay clientele. Others have noted that breakfast feels like a meat market with the other guests sizing up your boy du hour as their next possible victim. I want to like the Tarntawan, which sits in a secluded courtyard off Suriwong, more than I do; part of me can’t shake the feeling that, as many gay businesses do, they are trying to cash in on being a gay hotel by charging what I call a gay tax. There are a lot of pluses about this place, but some minuses that can’t be ignored too. And while the rooms are clean, they are also a bit dated – if you only spring for one of their standard rooms it’ll bring back to mind the days you lived in the closet.
The Shower Experience: Bathrooms at Tarntawan are done in marble and tile, but the shower is in a tub, the confines of which preclude enjoying showering with a friend. Water pressure however is good and the temperature does not fluctuate on its own.
Bed Head: My first stay at the Tarntawan was in a standard room; they used a box spring instead of a mattress which was a unique approach to say the least. Though that was years ago. More recently I stayed in a deluxe room, where the bedroom is sperate from the sitting area. The bed was firm but still comfy.
A Clean, Well Lit Place: How bright and cheery your room will be depends greatly on which room you get. Some feature floor to ceiling windows, some half-wall windows, some a bit less. The reliance on rattan and Thai-style furniture helps give the rooms a darker feel, and the lighting provided is more about ambiance than it is about illumination. Even rooms with larger windows can still be somewhat dark thanks to a view of a concrete wall a mere foot or two away from your room. When booking it’s best to specify that you would like a light room with some sort of a view. Then cross your fingers.
Breaking Your Fast: I’d suspect the Tarntawan’s gayness is a matter of flying a rainbow flag except that it offers it breakfast 24 hours a day, so obviously they get the gay traveller. Someone else might chime in about the selection offered, I’ve always ordered room service instead, which is included in your free breakfast.
The Hired Help: The staff at Tarntawan go out of their way to be both gracious and friendly. Almost to a fault. But that’s a good thing. They are always ready to help and tend to put your needs in front of the duties of their job. Housekeeping is efficient and pays strict attention to the Do Not Disturb lights – so make sure you turn it off when you leave your room or there’s a good chance your room will not be made-up when you return.
The People Next Door: Most guests are gay, those that aren’t undoubtedly feel out-numbered and are on their best behavior. Management schedules a social hour at the bar in the lobby on Thursdays where you can mingle with others staying there, though you can usually find a handful of gentlemen hanging out at the bar to make friends with any night of the week.
You Gets What Ya Pay For: Rooms run roughly $60 to $100, and a slight bit higher during peak season. For Patpong Tarntawan is an okay value. But considering what you can get elsewhere at the higher end of rates you can do lots better. But that tends to hold true for all Patpong properties. The rooms are basic, with a small attempt at providing some atmosphere. Recent upgrades mean they finally have in-room safes, and the old-style TVs have been upgraded to flat screens, but are still small and usually crammed into the room on a small end table almost as an after thought.
Gay-Friendly: Over-night guests are welcome, there is no joiner fee. The front desk holds your guest’s ID card until he leaves, and calls up to your room to make sure there are no problems before handing it back. For many, this is viewed as a plus and they feel it provides them with a higher degree of safety. Personally, I’d rather not. But being in the minority, I’ll give them points instead of docking them for this service. And while it’s not my style, many first time gay visitors love this place because it is, generally, a gay hotel. They feel they will be more accepted here, and worry less about problems or ridicule. Honestly though, 99% of hotels in Bangkok will be no different in regards to a guest being gay and/or his night-time pursuits.
Extras: Other than a business center and the aforementioned bar they like to call a pub, there are no additional amenities at the Tarntawan. Not having a pool may matter to you, so think about that.
Getting In And Getting Out: Check-in is quick and efficient. Checking out, not so much. I’m not sure why, their system is computerized and other than making sure you didn’t pack the contents of the mini bar into your suitcase, there is no good reason the process takes as long as it does. But as with all staff interaction at the Tarntawan, even when slow the service is gracious. The one thing they could do to better this score is to ensure the taxi they flag for you for your ride to the airport uses the meter. Many other hotels do this for you and it’s nice not having to go through the hassle of demanding it from your driver on your own.
Brownie Points: A nice touch are their personalized ‘In Residence” business cards issued to you at check-in complete with your name imprinted. I’m giving Tarntawan points for checking and holding overnight guest’s ID too, even if it does go against my grain. And I gotta give them credit too for their outstanding treatment of guests – you really do get the feeling that your satisfaction is of major concern to every member of the staff.
<The Glitz Hotel
Location. Location, Location: 3
The Shower Experience: 2
Bed Head: 3
A Clean, Well Lit Place: 3
Breaking Your Fast: 1
The Hired Help: 2
The People Next Door: 3
You Gets What Ya Pay For: 3
Gay-Friendly: 3
Extras: 0
Getting In And Getting Out: 3
Brownie Points: 0
OVER ALL SCORE: 26 out of 60 = 2
Glitz is one thing, looking like a cheap whore is another. One of the newer hotels in Patpong, the 14 room Glitz Hotel it is on the corner of the soi where you’ll find the Tawan bar. Like many of the newer places in town it .likes to consider itself a boutique hotel, not realizing that boutique and tiny are not synonymous. On the other hand, The Glitz says Patpong better than any of its competitors. If you consider that a good thing/
The Shower Experience: Considering how tiny the rooms are, the bathrooms are of decent size. But be forewarned – to save on space they’ve gone with glass partitions rather than walls. So not only is privacy an issue, but so is ventilation. There is a small window in the bathroom you can open, but there is no screen so flying guests frequently enter. The shower has a nice rain forest-style head that you stand under, but the stall and the bathroom are one and the same. Protect the toilet paper and your toiletries. Not that they will get totally drenched; the water is luke-warm at best and you’ll make quick work of showering.
Bed Head: The beds are comfy but firm and feature a duvet. Good thing there are blackout curtains on the windows, ‘cuz the bright lights they’ve used to illuminate the hotel would otherwise make it seem like afternoon all night long. And while the location right on Suriwong is a plus, the hotel is cheaply built and it can sound like you are sleeping on the street.
A Clean, Well Lit Place: Noting the decorator’s fondness for reds, pinks, and purples, largely due to the small size of the rooms they are well-lit during the day by natural light and satisfactorily at night because it doesn’t take much wattage to light up the cubbyhole you’ll be staying in.
Breaking Your Fast: Cold cereal, juice, milk, coffee, toast, eggs, and those strange little hot dog thingys are what will face you in the morning, so if you are a big breakfast eater you’ll do better booking a room without breakfast included and finding something more substantial out along Suriwong.
The Hired Help: It’s a small hotel, so the staff matches that. Even then they seemed to be over-worked, and while friendly enough seemed to act as they’d be happier if taking care of guests was not part of their job description. From my stay and reviews I’ve read from others, the nighttime security guard in the lobby’s sole responsibility is to take a nice long nap.
The People Next Door: It’d be interesting to poll guests to discover why they chose The Glitz as their place to stay in Bangkok. You’d think the clientele would be primarily gay guys and straight punters but during my stay there were families, and straight couples too. If you do breakfast at the hotel, you’ll meet all of them in an elbow-to-elbow setting.
You Gets What Ya Pay For: Not really. At $60 – $80 a night depending on the room, you can do better. The decor is modern, or at last an attempt at hitting that mark has been made. But cheap is never far behind. On the plus side, the rooms have nice-sized flat screen TV’s with a good range of channels, a dvd player for the bootleg discs you just bought in Patpong, and free internet.
There is the standard mini bar fridge, a room safe, and surprisingly for the size of the room, ample storage space for clothes and suitcases. On the downside, there is no elevator. Not that I’m not healthy enough to walk up four flights of stairs, but I am lazy enough to not want to. And maintenance, or maybe that’s construction, is wanting. Be gentle with the plumbing fixtures – they may be sitting there instead of actually attached.
Gay-Friendly: Overnight guests welcome, no joiner fee is charged. Front desk staff didn’t really seem to care who walked past, so it’s probably a good thing you need to use your room key to gain access to where the rooms are.
Extras: There are none. It’s The Glitz, not The Ritz.
Getting In And Getting Out: For my stay both were quick and as efficient as you can expect in Thailand. But one morning while leaving in search of an acceptable breakfast I stopped and watched two couples trying to check-out at the same time, which totally taxed the abilities of the girl at the front desk.
Brownie Points: Bright neon colors, small spaces, and minimal expense in construction costs, with tv, dvd, and computer access a must seems to be a new style of standard hotel offerings in Bangkok and The Glitz fits that mold perfectly. Recognizing it is what it is, this hotel neither gains nor losses extra points for its efforts, minimal that they are. As with most properties in Patpong, you’ll do better here by booking a larger room, but then at that price you’ll do even better a short taxi ride away.
<Siam Heritage:
Location. Location, Location: 3
The Shower Experience: 3
Bed Head: 4
A Clean, Well Lit Place: 4
Breaking Your Fast: 4
The Hired Help: 5
The People Next Door: 3
You Gets What Ya Pay For: 4
Gay-Friendly: 3
Extras: 3
Getting In And Getting Out: 4
Brownie Points: +2
OVER ALL SCORE: 42 out of 60 = 4
You’d think a hotel in the middle of Patpong that refuses to let commercial sex workers cross its doorstoop would have a difficult time being a success. Commercial sex workers are, after all, why Patpong exists. Throw in traditional Thai-style accommodations as its stated decor and I really start to get nervous – that can often mean dark woods and rattan that looks and probably came from the ‘50s. But the 73 room Siam Heritage Hotel manages to pull it off, and even earns the right to add ‘boutique to its name (as it often does).
The Shower Experience: I stayed in an Executive Room which had a tub and hand-held shower head. Set into an enclosed area so there was no need for a shower curtain. But friends booked the superior instead, and while their tub’s shower head was mounted on the wall, they got to do battle with a shower curtain daily. Once you get to the Executive Suite level, you get a walk-in shower stall too – for about $8 more, it would be worth it. Both the water pressure and temperature stability were great in the cheaper rooms too.
Bed Head: If you are a newbie to Thailand you need to know that most hotel beds are a wood platform with a mattress on top. There are no box-springs. That usually makes for a fairly hard bed. I’m assuming the Siam Heritage had their mattresses custom made, while still firm they were soft and probably the best bed I’ve slept in in Bangkok (admittedly I like a bed that is basically an over-sized pillow). The pillows, on the other hand, were on the thin side which would have been problematic since Noom always steals every pillow he can lay his hands on, but housekeeping brought up six more when I called down and asked for “a few more”.
A Clean, Well Lit Place: Thai-style decor means lots of dark wood and in a smaller room that can lead to an oppressive feeling. But the room I stayed in and the other two I looked at all managed to maintain a bright and welcoming atmosphere. The wood flooring helps keep the rooms feeling clean and fresh and the lighting offered ambiance where appropriate and light where needed. Noom, who has decided to be an asshole about being an ex-smoker twitched his nose often even though both our room and my friends’ were non-smoking, but I never noticed it myself.
Breaking Your Fast: The breakfast buffet is not lavish but it does offer an ample election of eastern and western food along with a station for having eggs made to order. And the restaurant area is pleasant and cheery. Kinda like the food service staff.
The Hired Help: For this class of hotel the staff was amazing, coming close to the level of service you get at the Oriental. I was expecting someone to kowtow before I could stop them. Smiling staff at good hotels is not unusual in Thailand, the country is known for that facial expression. But old hands can tell the difference between the few hundred smiles Thais have perfected. The staff at Siam Heritage beamed honest ones, they actually looked like they were happy to see you. I already mentioned the request for a few pillows that became a bundle – that was typical of our entire stay, every request was met with an over-the-top response.
The People Next Door: I was expecting more of an upscale crowd, but fellow hotel guests ran the gamut from the tour bus crowd to a few fussy old queens. Maybe they need to charge more for their standard rooms. The hallways have wood floors so sounds reverberate loudly and those of lower class talk loudly with no concern for fellow guests while making their way through the public areas. Or, maybe I’m becoming one of the fussy old queens. More importantly, while classy, this hotel is suitable for anyone and everyone. You won’t feel out of place in the least bit.
You Gets What Ya Pay For: At about $70 for a superior room up to $175 for their Presidential Suite (or the moer modestly priced executive suit at $100-ish) this hotel offers excellent value for what you pay. And, as usual, the more you pay the more you get. The lower scale rooms had minibars, the Executive Suites had full sized fridges. And a small but workable kitchen. There is free wi-fi throughout the hotel, in-room amenities abound, and everything is first-class. On the downside, don’t expect a view (other than of someone’s wall) and recognize that for the number of rooms the hotel has it is not a large property, so some rooms – both public and guest – can be on the small side.
Gay-Friendly: Over-night guests are not allowed, but at least the property is honest about it and won’t accept a bribe in the way of a joiner fee to get past their policy. On the other hand, I booked the room for both Noom and I and though he checked-in after me, no one batted an eye and he received the same warm welcome that I had.
Extras: Though small for the size of the hotel, there is a beautiful pool on the rooftop with sunbeds and a heated jacuzzi (I began to worry Noom would never get out of it once I convinced him to give it a try!). The hotel also has a spa, and offers a non-happy ending massage service. The fitness center seemed state of the art, and while – again – small, Noom was a happy camper with the facility.
Getting In And Getting Out: This is not the first hotel I’ve booked both Noom and I into, but have checked in separately. At the others I’ve had to carefully explain so that he is treated properly when he shows up. That was unnecessary at Siam Heritage, as soon as I started to explain I got an immediate, “No problem, sir.” And it wasn’t. Friendly and efficient both coming and going I couldn’t have asked for more (well, okay, it wasn’t the kneeling girl holding a registration card on a tray above her head that you get at the Oriental, but at a third of the price I can make sacrifices). Checking out, rather than having to ask for a taxi, the girl volunteered to have one called, and the doorman settled the meter/no meter matter before I stepped outside.
Brownie Points: Did I mention the silk robes in the rooms? I can’t help but compare this place with the Tarntawan, having stayed in a similar level of room at both at almost the exact cost. And yet the Siam Heritage is a totally different experience. It claims to be a 4-star hotel and I’d agree. I hope they maintain the place well, their Thai-style decor can become dated and worn quickly and I’d hate for Patpong to lose this little oasis of elegance. Shame about their policy on prostitutes though . . .
<Le Meridien
Location. Location, Location: 3
The Shower Experience: 5
Bed Head: 5
A Clean, Well Lit Place: 5
Breaking Your Fast: 4
The Hired Help: 3
The People Next Door: 3
You Gets What Ya Pay For: 3
Gay-Friendly: 3
Extras: 3
Getting In And Getting Out: 3
Brownie Points: +2
OVER ALL SCORE: 42 out of 60 = 4
Why Starwood under its new global rebranding, Le Meridien, choice Patpong for the location of its flagship property in Asia is beyond me. The river would be a better spot, the Embassy area a more popular locale since that’s where many other 5-star properties are located. But in the middle of the city’s red light district? Really? Nonetheless, the hotel’s claim to being a perfect example of where art, design, fashion, and fine food culture coexist seamlessly is spot on. As long as you are willing to pay for it. But that’s okay – the whole purpose of having money is to be able to look down your nose at the little people.
The Shower Experience: Damn. Again, like at Siam Heritage, a tub with a hand-held shower head. But the difference here is the tub is over-sized. And deep. And so inviting it’s the first bath I’ve taken in twenty years. But wait! There’s More! The bathroom also has a walk-in shower with a rain-forest shower head, and a sliding partitioned wall between the bathroom and bedroom too boot. Noom was more taken with the phone in the bathroom than its plumbing and called me on my cell phone every time he used the facilities. “Hi! I In Toilet!” became his favorite gag on that trip.
Bed Head: It probably isn’t fair to compare the beds at Le Meridien to those at other hotels in Bangkok. They imported theirs. So they are as close to heaven as you can get with high thread-count linens, a fluffy duvet, and feather pillows. Pure bliss for those of us who like an extremely soft bed, a guaranteed back each for those used to a firm mattress. If you are among the latter, I’m trying to work up some empathy, but it ain’t my strong suit.
A Clean, Well Lit Place: Yes, yes, and yes. I upgraded slightly to the Vista Plus room for an additional $20 and got a corner room (far removed from the elevators) with floor to ceiling windows. So lots of natural light. And yes, you can have a view even in Patpong. The lighting in the rest of the room was well thought out so it was strong where you needed it (above the desk and at the vanity in the bathroom) and of an ambient nature elsewhere (by the bed). Details count and Le Meridien misses few.
Breaking Your Fast: Le Meridien offers a lavish buffet breakfast with a multitude of Asian and Western food stations, all perfectly prepared and fresh. But you need to shop around when booking your room. Some sites include the breakfast in your room cost (at a good discount) while others do not. And if you pay at the door it runs about $25. For free (you know what I mean) it’s one of the better ways to start your day in Bangkok. If you have to pay for it, well that bad free breakfast at The Rose starts looking pretty good.
The Hired Help: At the prices Le Meridien charges you expect the help to be friendly, efficient, and subservient. And they come close. But no cigar. I was a bit surprised that they had not managed to hit the same excellent mark as the staff at Siam Heritage, and came no where close to the level of service at the Oriental. They were all friendly enough, and tended to stay on point depending what their job duties were, but no one made the extra effort that should go without saying at a 5-star property. They just didn’t walk the walk.
The People Next Door: Hai! It shouldn’t come as a surprise that a good deal of the hotel’s clientele are Japanese. No problemo. With heads at chest level they are easy to over-look. Seriously though, most guests at Le Meridien are at least upper middle class and a bit mor refined than you’ll run across at The Rose. At the same time the hotel tries to be contemporary and hip, so it’s not like you are stuck dealing with staid members of the monied class. If short pants and a tank top (singlet for non-Americans) is your thing you may feel a bit out of place. But generally, you should fit in if you can spring for a few hundred a night for a room. And that really isn’t a very high mark to hit.
You Gets What Ya Pay For: The last expensive rooms (Vista) run around $200, the next level up are the circular rooms (they have round beds) at $300, and you can get a suite for just under $600. Pricey. But . . . A few hundred bucks for a room might be more than you would normally pay for your stay. The value in Bangkok hotels comes by way of comparison to what you’d pay for the same room back home. In this case you are staying in a $500 – $600 a night room at a third of the cost. Everything in the rooms is top notch, and every room amenity you can think of is there. Plus some.
Even at $200 – $300 a night Le Meridien is a good value. Except for two things: the aforementioned possibility of having to pay about $25 for breakfast, and the ridiculous charge of $15 daily for in-room internet access. Just because you can afford to stay in a higher priced hotel doesn’t mean you should be raped over what really should be inclusive costs. As a guest you get 30 minutes of free time in the steam room, after that you have to pay, which is also ridiculous. And as for the dubious Go Green offer of in-house credit or loyalty membership points for passing on fresh towels and linens daily . . . .since when do 5-star hotels offer ala cart services? Tacky. Really tacky. If they care that much about the Earth, they can go plant some trees.
Gay-Friendly: Joiner fees should be beneath a 5-Star establishment. And they are at Le Meridien. Over night guests aren’t so much welcomed as they are ignored. Having Noom with me, and watching how he is treated is always a good indication of an establishment’s openness to non-traditional couples and at no time did anyone treat him with anything other than the usual respect they paid to other guests.
Extras: Le Meridien has a state of the art fitness center, a steam room, pool, spa, and offers non-happy ending massage treatments. The pool is nice, but a bit small for a 282 room hotel. There are also several restaurants and/or bars if you don’t want to walk out to Suriwong.
Getting In And Getting Out: As quick and efficient as you’d expect at a 5-star property both coming and going. However, the hotel sets back off the street and if you want to catch a taxi, you do so at the door. The doormen were lackadaisical about ensuring meters were used, which should be a standard for the hotel – the property should make it clear that meters are the only acceptable method for anyone picking up a fare at their hotel. Throughout the stay, at best, it was maybe a 70% proposition. On checkout and heading to the airport I had to go through the hassle of dealing with the driver to get the meter turned on on my own. I can live with that at The Rose, I expect better from a 5-star hotel.
Brownie Points:
I love concierges, especially those who really know what they are doing and as familiar with Bangkok as I am I abused the concierge at Le Meridien shamefully. And he took it like a champ. So brownie points there. And for having in-room safes large enough to stow your laptop in too. There were a lot of little things that impressed me with this hotel, but then I remembered how much I was paying for a room, and was less impressed.
Check back tomorrow for reviews, or at least a mention, of the remaining handful of hotels in Bangkok’s Patpong district.
(Note: I did not take any of the hotel and room photos in this post, it’s not my style. I don’t take photos of meals I’ve ordered either. These shots were all loaned to me by Beachball from his private photo album.)
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Glenn said:
I’ve never paid anywhere close to $200 at the LM. I’ve paid $120-130. Last year I did a points + cash stay that was something like 7000 point plus $45 per night.
I stayed at the Tarntawan on my first ever visit to Thailand. And never went back. The bed was too uncomfortable and on I was on a lower floor with a view of a wall out my window.
Agree on Siam Heritage. I liked my Exec Suite a lot. Very comfy. No free wifi though when I stayed there was a big minus. They were also so militant about the no guest policy that it was a big turnoff. I happened to be staying there during the last coup. I was out with my friend/guide at a concert that evening and once we got back to the hotel they made a big stink about allowing him into the lobby so he could figure out what to do next.
Lately I’ve been staying frequently at the Siri Sathorn. It’s a bit of a hike to Soi Twilight though. They have a shuttle van during the day that will take you to the BTS and Silom Complex. It’s a serviced apartment sort of a place but has daily housekeeping. I like having an apartment with a kitchen and a lot more room for a very reasonable price.
Bangkokbois said:
I’d agree Siam Heritage is the way to go. Unless you need to bring a guy back to your room.
I used Agoda for a mid July stay for pricing in this post for all hotels. I don’t remember what I paid for our stay, but it was in high season so it probably was closer to what I listed than what you’ve managed before. ($45, btw is a steal!)
Thanks for the mention of the Siri Sathorn – I’ll at least include it in my listing when I cover the Silom side of Patpong.
Hendrikbkk said:
What a great article! And this is only the start.
I am glad you hired our beloved friend Beachlife, who else can consult you on all the 5 star hotels?
The only hotel I stayed from your list is The Meridien and I also wondered who at head office was high when taking this decision.
On check in I was offered an upgrade and thinking I got a suite, I ended in a round bed room. They thought I am here to make a porn movie? And ofcourse I didn’t had sex at all during this trip, I blame it on the bed.
Bangkokbois said:
I thought about booking the round bed room, but knowing Noom and his OCD positioning thingy, I thought that’d drive him crazy.
Mitch S. said:
I am so confused… some photos are just like those posted by Beachlover, yet others actually show signs of being occupied. Hmmm!
Bangkokbois said:
Obviously those showing signs of being occupied are not the ones Beachball provided. He is always concerned that seeing a corner of his suitcase would tip people off to who he is so they could track him down.
Wen Johnson said:
Being an old fart who when he finds a comfortable environment doesn’t really want to change that often, I find some of this posting on the Tarntawan not to be in line with what I have recently observed, especially in my 9 day stay there in April of this year. BUT since you said it is based on opinion I won’t ding on every point of disagreement. During my stay I didn’t feel that I was in a gay hotel when I looked at fellow residents however.
As to room views, the higher up one stays the lighter and more view. Those on the back look over a parking lot, those on the front look to the courtyard and those in the annex do look at the wall of the Siam Heritage.
I feel that one of the biggest changes in the BKK gay scene, however, is what happens when one uses the hotels free WiFi in the rooms to check social scenes like Grindr and Jack’d. LOTS of messages start coming through letting one know that the guy you are now going to be really good friends with is more than willing to come to your room and give you a nice massage and promises even more! Thus, when you do have someone come up to your room whom you don’t really know, nor know where they are coming from like you would if you had offed a guy, it is a relief when they have left to have that phone call when they pick up their ID. “Hello, sir. Your guest is leaving. Is everything OK?” Of course, that might be a very dangerous thing to be doing, but one’s cock doesn’t always think rationally when it sees a hunk on an internet page!
The staff, I have found to be super friendly. As to a taxi to the airport, I don’t know what most other folks do nor how much they pay. When I book my room I always check the box for the hotel car to pick me up and take it back at the end of my stay. Thus, when I’ve picked up my luggage I walk to the airport’s arrival lobby, look for the Tarntawan sign and within minutes I am in my own car with no hassle. While some folks might think the $35 one way equivalent is expensive, they do NOT live in Japan where $35 might get you only from one side of town to the other! And when I have needed a taxi to go somewhere within BKK the bellman will come out and hassle with drivers until I get a metered one.
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks Wen, I appreciate your two cents worth, as misguided as it may be.
🙂
Seriously though, I’m glad you chimed in, it’s good to have others opinions entered here too. And your tip on the views/natural light at Tarntawan should come in handy for anyone thinking of booking a room there.
Nice too to have some input on using a hotel’s airport service. I have occasionally in the past, but generally consider it a waste of money. But, as you point out, coming in from a country where getting into town can cost lots more, it can just as easily be seen as a value.
Mahalos!
Al said:
No idea what you’re talking about Wen regarding your Grindr etc. issue but I assume you have a valid complaint anyway. The Tarntawan needs a lot of money spent on it to bring it up to acceptable condition, it’s most valuable asset is the staff, Panita etc are just wonderful. Lukas must have his hands full especially after the other swiss guy stood him up work wise.
Been ther done that category I’m afraid. Stayed there many times only due to convenient location. If you’re not doing the boy bars then no need to stay in this area at all. y
Don said:
While I have come to love Thailand, I started to go 25 years ago – this June is my 19th trip – for only one reason. I worked for a mega travel agency for years as a senior manager and have had my fill of fabulous hotel suites for little or nothing. They are great and have their place.
In Bangkok I started with the Suriwong, switched to the Rose, tried the Tantarwan and now swear by – NOT at – the BBB Inn. The bed is as little hard but OK, the small refrigerator allows me to stock what I want, There is an in room safe, free wi-fi and the shower is not a tub and the water flows well and is hot.
The room is clean, they do laundry and have available massage –
Honestly, they make me comfortable with no fuss and bother. No, it is not pretty but there is no better location and it is cool, reasonably comfortable and clean.
The only thing I go in search of is a good breakfast – the Rose is OK by menu, but there are few places that do a good breakfast. I have tried the Le Meridien and the buffet is good but all I really want is good coffee with eggs and bacon or sausage not hot dogs – odd how hard this is to find.
The reason I wrote this time is two fold:
One the BBB does have a clientele that can find better and can pay for it but knows exactly what they are there for and the hotel is worth a try ( where do you get breakfast?)
two is harder : I have not been to Pattaya in decades – is it that bad, really? Is it worth a two night or so visit?
Bangkokbois said:
Thank for your input Don.
Usually those who stay at basic accommodations are just cheap, and claim ‘that’s all I really need’. So it’s nice to hear an opinion from someone who doesn’t fit that bill. I’ve yet to be impressed with a Patpong hotel, so maybe on my next overnighter stay I’ll give BBB a try.
As for Pattaya, it’s not my cup of tea. But (obliviously) has many fans. It a quick trip from Bangkok, and cheap even by private car so you may want to give it a try for a few days. At worse, you’ll cut your visit short and flee back to Bangkok.
If you do go and like it, I’d love to hear why. I’ve asked many times before and no one has yet come up with an honest answer other than that it is cheap (which for a week’s stay with all costs taken into account I don’t think holds true – you could certainly stay and play in Bangkok as cheaply).
maxroch said:
Since you asked (even though you didn’t specifically ask me), I thought I would throw in my two cents about Pattaya. I have been visiting Thailand, or as you more than a few occasions put it, Pattaya (or Sunee Plaza) since 2000. Initially, I used to stay in Bangkok for a few days before heading south to my favorite playground. In recent years I just went straight to Pattaya from BKK airport in a prearranged “limo”. Why Pattaya (and by Pattaya I mean Jomtien)? Because it has a beach, as in Dong Tan beach. I always visit Thailand (Jomtien) with my boyfriend, so it is not important for me to be within walking distance to the many boy bars and go-go bars that Bangkok has to offer although the Jomtien Complex supplies more boys than one knows what to do with (I am sure some of you can come up with plenty of ways to keep the boys entertained). We visit Boyz Town every now and then when we are in Jomtien for a change of scenery, especially if we know there are new boys or new shows. We stop by Sunee Plaza even more rarely, mainly just to find out what had been closed and who replaced them. But it would be hard for us to occupy our days without spending a few hours at our favorite beach section in the afternoons on the gay Dong Tan beach. Without having to make any real effort except for walking a few hundred feet from our room to our favorite beach chair, we are fussed over and pampered by a fleet of boys from the time we get there until the time we leave. Food, drinks, male companion, massage, etc. can be easily summoned with a quick hand signal. Sun, sand, sea, and tropical breezes are free for all to enjoy, not to mention an occasional hot young and nearly naked male body to feed your eyes and/or your fantasies. Admittedly, there are more sagging, bald, and wrinkled bodies there than muscled or slender smooth young boys, but that is the reality of being a visitor to any gay areas of Thailand regardless of whether you are in go-go bar on soi Twilight or on a gay beach. If there is one thing I learn well during my years of travel is the ability to look past the undesirable views and zooming in on the yummy visions. Over the years we get to know (sometimes intimately) quite a few local massage boys and some of the regular farang visitors there at the gay beach. It feels almost like coming home during the cold winter months when the weather can be less than friendly in the northeastern part of the US every time we visit Jomtien. The hours spent at the beach, relatively speaking, can be low-keyed and relaxing, if you consider getting an oil massage, or two, on the sand by a cute young masseur is relaxing. One of the good things about getting a massage right in the open on a gay beach is that you don’t have to worry or feel embarrassed about pitching a tent under the flimsy towel draped over your private part when your massage boy gets playful with the muscle that doesn’t need to be massaged. And, unlike a visit to the red light district, there is no pressure to come home at the end of the beach session with a boy for the evening. However, if you so choose, an in-room massage with a very happy ending can be arranged with the right masseur if they like you enough and the promised tip is suitably appealing to the boy. Maybe I am kidding myself, but a rendezvous with a favorite massage boy somehow feels more “friendly” than a transaction with someone I see the first time at a boy bar. Before any of you jump on my case, I am not making any judgment here. We all have our ways of doing things that we are more comfortable with. I have done my share of offing boys from bars. And enjoyed it too. I just have more options now. Anyway, for those who consider fine dining a big part of their vacation, there are a few delightful restaurant choices within walking distance in Jomtien Complex if you stay at one of the hotels or condo apartments Jomtien beach. Some of them also have respectable wine lists to accompany their delectable cuisines. A selection of decent hotel rooms (according to those who stay there. I prefer renting a condo apartment on the beach) are available in the Jomtien complex too if you don’t mind being right in the middle of the activities all the time. Many other fine restaurant choices are a short taxi ride away. The biggest plus is not having to deal with the constant traffic noise and air pollution problems that are an integral part of staying in the heart of Bangkok, or near Boyz Town. For those who want to take a break from the bar a beach scenes, there are other options to do in and around Pattaya. A quick arrangement with a guide/driver and a private car will take you away to the next road adventure and/or excursion. Those are my reasons for choosing Sin City over the Big Mango. I am sure many may disagree with my choice. That’s why it is my choice. And I am gonna stick with it. Until I change my mind 🙂
Bangkokbois said:
I dump on Pattaya often, but then usually when I say Pattaya I mean Sunee Plaza. Even then, it is more about those it attracts than the place itself. But I’ve always wanted to hear from those who find Pattaya attractive, mostly in trying to figure out why. So thanks for your input Max.
Still, the beaches in Phuket are much nicer. The bars in Bangkok even better. But it doesn’t have the same hustle and bustle as BKK, so for some that’s a plus. I think, perhaps, the attraction is that there is an established community in Pattaya where visitors feel either safe or welcomed. And it’s cheaper too (if you are looking to go cheap).
I’m still not convinced, but do accept that you have good reasons to make it your choice of destinations. So thanks again for your input.
maxroch said:
I agree with you that the bars in Bangkok are better, and there are more of them to choose from. I also agree that the beaches in Phuket are cleaner and prettier. I have been there a couple of times. However, I found Jomtien to be an acceptable compromise between those two places. I am particularly fond of staying at the Viewtalay7 condo apartment where I have a beautiful sea view 24 hours a day. Being a few hundred feet from the gay beach doesn’t hurt either. Then there is the simple pleasure of having a nice breakfast the watching the beach community getting busy for a new day while catching up on cyber communication and the news, or enjoying a nice Scotch in the late afternoon watching the sun setting over the water from our 22nd floor balcony before heading out to dinner. Another plus is we are close enough to Bangkok to make a short visit if we feel like it. It is not as convenient to return to Bangkok from Phuket. We all have our reasons to do what we do and go where we go. There is something to say about developing a relationship with the local community. It just doesn’t feel the same when you are somewhere else even if those other places are nicer in some aspects. Anyway, I am still slowly going through your many other stories and have a great time reading all of them. You really have a way with words and are one hell of a story teller. Thank you Rush (is that how you prefer to be addressed or should I stick with BB or just avoid using your name or cyber-name altogether? You can edit or delete this question as needed) for creating and maintaining this blog. It is by far one of the best.
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks Max, I get that a lot of it has to do with what you want out of a holiday too. And while admittedly an ocean view beats no ocean view any day of the week I’m a fan of Bangkok ‘cuz there is so much to do and see and never a minute’s rest unless you specifically plan for it. I think part of my problem with Pattaya is it really isn’t all the boys on the boards like to claim it is, and being in the minority I view mine as the lone voice that says otherwise. Well, that and the freaks who flock there. But it is always nice to hear the opinions of normal guys to off-set that ickiness. 🙂
And Rush works fine . . .
mrb43 said:
Hey guys – first timer coming to BKK in the fall. Buddy and I are up to paying $100 – $125 USD / night and want to be near boy action. Like nice hotels without front desk hassle. Crown Plaza Lumpini and Le Meridian look good. Which if better or ????
Thanks.
Bangkokbois said:
Of the two I prefer Le Meridian, but you may have a problem bringing back a stream of bar boys there. In any case you’ll probably get a better response asking on one of the gay Thailand message boards.