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Finally, technology has caught up to AT&T’s old advertising slogan. And that’s good news for all of you who have a boy friend waiting for you back in Thailand. Now you can get some personal satisfaction for all that cash you and him, just like you do when you are in town. Need to get your rocks off and, nice guy that you are, want your boy to shake rattle and roll too? Now there’s an app for that. Condom manufacturer Durex, not content to just keep your play safe, recently released the product of your wet dreams: Fundawear, electric underwear fitted with miniature actuators to produce the sensation of touch. And it’s all controlled through your smart phone. Or actually the phone you bought your latest boy du jour.

Using the same technology that makes mobile phones vibrate, each pair of Fundawear has five actuators built into them enabling long-distance lovers to touch and tease each other from halfway across the planet, all through your iPhone. Phone sex just took on a whole new meaning.

Fashion, fit, and sexual function . . . Fundawear takes cybersex into a new dimension.

Fashion, fit, and sexual function . . . Fundawear takes cybersex into a new dimension.

Durex commissioned fashion designer Billie Whitehouse to design the undergarment component of the remote pleasure system. And Whitehouse says she fashioned the garments with style and comfort in mind to make what she calls an “attractive piece of technology. Described as “when fashion meets foreplay,” the black boxer briefs look good and feel good too. Over and over again. Next time your boy du jour starts playing with his phone, you’ll be glad he’s so talented with his thumbs as he turns your grumpy frown upside down.

Or, for the more adventurous, you may instead want to try LovePalz, the world’s first internet-enabled sex toy, which doesn’t have an app but more than makes up for it in sexual realism. The LovePalz kit consists of a pair of devices (you’ll want to order two of the phallic ones named Zeus). Connect online with them and the devices “sense your motions and immediately send them real-time to your lover”. With a minimalist appearance and metallic silver finished streamlined shape this innovative sex toy of the future senses you or your partner’s actions/reactions and transmit them to each other’s device, all in real time. No more wondering if he’s faking it, you’ll now know exactly what he’s feeling.

LovePalz gives you all of the senses of being with your guy. Except for the part where your wallet gets lightened.

LovePalz gives you all of the senses of being with your guy. Except for the part where your wallet gets lightened.

LovePalz works much like a Fleshlight, except it’s interior is an inflatable air bag, which expands and contracts based on the speed suggested by your partner’s device. You don’t even need to groan, “I’m Cuming!” any longer ‘cuz your partner will know you are reaching climax by thee speed and intensity of his device’s reaction to yours.

Who knew that Bill Gates tinkering in his garage would one day lead to bringing you and your lover together even when you are miles apart?

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