“Merry Christmas,” “Happy Holidays,” and “Seasons Greetings” are all appropriate and traditional greetings for the holidays season. Unless you live in Wales. Then, “Yo Momma!” is the more likely greeting you’ll hear. Because in this season of peace on earth and goodwill to men, nothing makes your holiday’s as bright as trading insults with your friends, neighbors, and loved ones. The old gray mare ain’t what she used to be, but in Wales she’s a central figure in the locals’ holiday tradition, which for some odd reason ends with a flurry of insults that would make Don Rickles blush. Not that ‘odd’ and ‘Wales’ are not commonly used in the same sentence.

The Mari Lwyd, or for anyone who actually wants to try to decipher what a Welshman is saying, Y Fari Lwyd, is a Christmas holiday season tradition that is said to bring good luck in the coming year. Not that it has brought much luck to Wales, but it could be worse. They could be Irish. Or the dead horse whose head plays an important role in their celebration.

Since it is the Welsh we are dealing with, the celebration is a simple one. As long as you have a dead horse handy. The horse’s skull is mounted on a stick, and then sheets are attached to the bottom of the skull to hide the person carrying it. Sometimes the jaw is spring-loaded, so it can be snapped at people. Because a little blood makes any holiday a bit more cheery. Then the Mari party – which is limited to participation by men – takes to the streets stopping at every house or pub to sing traditional songs called pwnco, which is where the insults come in.

The Mari Lwyd party starts the festivity off by singing a verse that asks permission for them to enter. Those inside, of course, say no because no one in their right mind would ever let a Welshman into their house, much less an entire band of drunk ones. The fun then continues with both groups taking turns singing versus at each other through the closed door. If either group is lucky enough to know those in the other party, their rhyming insults can be fined tuned to score a major bitch-slap against the other party.

If the witty rhymes strike a raw nerve in the attacking party, then the outsiders either try to break down the door or shuffle off to an easier target. If the Mari Lwyd party comes up with the best insults, then they are allowed entry into the house or pub and are plied with food and drink. While they run about the place using the dead horse’s skull and it’s sharp teeth to create havoc and frighten the children. Um, which is where the good luck comes in. Yeah. I know. But they’re Welsh.

As much fun as this holiday custom sounds, the practice of Mari Lwyd died off with the rest of Welsh culture, and language, and has only begun being revived over the last few decades. The only problem in doing so is that tradition dictates the verses of insults be sung in the native language of Wales, and few inhabitants of the dismal country still speak their mother tongue. Dead horses, however, are still relatively easy to come by in Wales.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy: