Joe Manganiello had a naked scene on True Blood last Sunday night. What, you thought I would set aside the hotness known as Joe for something as common as the Olympics? Come on: Priorities People! So Joe’s character in Magic Mike was nicknamed Big Dick Ritchie, and it turns out that was an insider’s joke. At least it was if you are cruel enough to laugh about small penises.
So I’m kicked back and watching the show, bored that I have to follow the plot instead of drooling over hotties; wondering why that Tara is now a fang hag she is still wearing that ‘tread all over me’ sign on her forehead; considering how badly the creative minds must be stalled that Lafayette has been forced to deep-throat yet another pissed off dead spirit; and trying to decide if Jason’s less blonde and more mature look is a good thing or not, when BANG: Joe’ naked ass comes on screen. Dining on some fish. And then, quicker than you can say Allan Ball deserves a stake driven through his heart for killing off Christopher Meloni before showing us his gorgeous cock, HOLY SHIT: Joe does frontal. And growling, wild-eyed, werewolf, I want me some orgasm, animal sex to boot.
So far the season has been long on bitches and short on dick. Even short ones. That the first shot of male ass they showed belonged to Sheriff Andy did not bode well for the season. Sure they’ve shown Jason’s adorable naked ass a few times – and thank the gods they did not allow him to grow hair there too – but Ball has not been seeing to his gay fan’s interests (having Reverend Steve come back as a swishy gay vampire does not count, In fact, that counts against him). He had the perfect opportunity with Meloni, who has always been willing to flash his dick for HBO quicker than John Travolta can yell, “Me next!” at a male masseur convention, but used that screen time instead to show us Hoyt modelling the makeup stylings of the US women’s gymnastics team. Okay, so the show is supposed to fall into the horror genre, but full-on nightmare producing visuals should still be avoided. Think of the children!
Now I’m not one to complain about heterosexual sex scenes, oh wait: I do bitch about heterosexual sex scenes. But leaving them to dine at Chick Fil A aside, finally getting Joe’s ass some screen time and then making it share its season’s debut with some unknown fish is just plain wrong. Stephen Moyer recently said he’d love to do a sex scene with Alexander Skarsgård (and who wouldn’t) and that he loved his man on man experience with Sam last season. Granted, that probably has more to do with his having to bed Anna Paquin when she’s not busy munching her girlfriend than it does with how badly he want’s a bit of Norwegian wood, but Ball should take note ‘cuz Joe has proven he likes to be one of the boys. And would undoubtedly be up for doing one of the boys too. (And Ball: if you make my dream come true but pair him up with Reverend Steve I will hunt you down!)
The good Priest Lollipop’s reemergence as a vamping vamp was almost tolerable when he put the moves on Jason – I’m still debating on his current facial hair thingy so offering him up to a man I do not want to see naked is temporarily acceptable – which, according to Steveo is not the last we’ve seen of that little bit of homoerotic fluffery. That is not on my list of Must See TV, but is a far better idea than forcing any more Sam on Sam action down viewer’s throats. A bit of male masturbation could do wonders for the shows ratings, watching Scruffy tongue himself is no one’s idea of a good time. Watching Joe’s ass – even if it is temporarily mistaken in the gender it is supposed to be attracted to – however, is.
Of course Joe’s penis is of far more interest and I barely slept last Sunday night waiting for someone to post a loving up close and personal shot of that scene. They did. Early Monday morning. Huh. I didn’t know pixels came in that small of a size. The good news is I immediately went back to bed and caught up on my sleep.
True Blood has had no problem in the past with showing cock. Now, when it counted, they went with sock instead. Either that or Joe’s bush is greater than his sum and I’m just not ready to concede that bit of reality. On the plus side, his backside got major air time so while we wait for a full monty that is full, enjoy:
Related Posts You Might Enjoy: