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“I love you long time Mister!”
Ah, whatever happened to the good old days of Saigon and its ready population of mamsans, girls, and far-less mentioned boys? Oh, right. Communism won, prostitution – just another name for capitalism – lost. Big time. Over the border in Thailand where G.Is went for some R & R from the flesh pots of Vietnam , business continued as usual. And still goes on today though the customers’ cammies have been replaced by T-shirts bearing the names of corporations who have since bought what could not be won through the use of armament. ‘Long-time’ is a tradition in SE Asia, one that today still allows you a chance to fall in love with a paid companion.
Short-time, on the other hand, is the more familiar scheme in commercial sex transactions all over the world. The twenty dollar blow job is still a staple of the industry on street corners across America. There are pros and cons to short-time trysts. And there are pros and johns who prefer them. It’s wham, bam, and no time left for a thank you; get in, get off, and get on your way. In the local parlance it’s a case of you cum, I go. There is a world of difference between long-time and short-time offs. With all the benefits a long-time off offers then, are you shorting yourself with a short-time off?
That’s the easy question to answer: Hell no. An orgasm is an orgasm. The rest is but a side dish. If all you are interested in is that quick moment of ecstacy and relief, short-time offs are the answer. And it’s a discounted, cheaper climax too boot. There’s little need to establish a rapport with your boy du jour in a short time off. It’s about sex, not friendship. And for many visitors to Bangkok’s gay gogo bars, that’s exactly what they want.
Cheap bastards are aficionados of the short-time off, too. It depends on the town and area you are making your purchase, but generally a short-time off will run you 500 baht less. You won’t be on the hook for associated costs either. No need to feed the boy, buy him gifts, or fall for the ‘I need money for taxi’ ruse. Guys who get offed for a short-time know the opportunity for additional income is limited; all his customer wants is a quicky. Paying for sex instead of paying for the illusion of love is a much cheaper proposition.
After the question of ‘how much’ the second most frequently query from newbies to Thailand’s world of gay gogo bars is the difference between short time and long time offs. Not the price difference, the difference in time. For the newbie it’s a confusing issue. When does a short time off turn into a long time off? And how long do you get for a shorty?
The answer, like with many things in Thailand is, it’s up to you. A short-time off can last only as long as it takes you to climax. It doesn’t even necessarily require physically offing a guy. Some bars, especially those along soi 6 in Patpong, have rooms available to save you the time of trekking back to your hotel. There are also several nearby inns, hoe-tels well-known by the boys if you are clueless, that rent their rooms by the hour saving you time once again (though not necessarily saving you money). That’s the paradigm customers are used to even if they don’t use the services of sex workers back home and requires little explanation. The short time off that last a long time is the confusing one.
If you leave the premises, whether its your hotel or a flop house you go to, the expected tip for a short time off is the same regardless if you spend twenty minutes or several hours. Some customers like to take their time. Others just want to get on with it. Some boys want to get the whole thing over quickly too; there’s always the chance they can score another off if they get back to their bar quickly. In other cases though, the boy who is not entirely repulsed by his customer, might want to spend a bit longer. If nothing else, he can get in a few hours of TV time.
Some customers don’t want to rush through the experience either. They may want to spend time getting to know their boy du jour; they may need some time to become comfortable with the experience. Depending on how early you hit the bars and how quickly you pick a companion out, a short time off can last several hours. And if it is the finish and not the lead-in that curls your toes, you can be done with the whole thing in a matter of minutes.
The dividing line between short-time and long-time offs is not the hours spent, but the hour of departure. If the boy snuggles in to spend the night entangled in your arms sleeping, your short-time off just became a long one. While I am a proponent of avoiding miscommunications by stating what you want before offing a guy, on the ‘how long’ question I usually let the circumstances dictate the length. Some guys only do short-time offs. They either have a wife and kids to get home to, or friends they want to hang out with after work. Whether it is for that reason, or they just were not all that impressed with you, they’ll let you know yours was a short-time off by getting cleaned up and dressed as soon as the sex is finished.
Sometimes either the sex isn’t all that good, or you just didn’t connect with the guy and you don’t want them to stay. It’s just as easy to signify that you’ve decided the night was a short-timer: you can ask him if he wants to take a shower before he leaves, or just get your cash out. Traditionally, you pay at the end of your time together, so when the baht makes its appearance, both of you know your time together is done.
In my experience, most guys who want to spend the night will ask. “I stay?” is a common query when the boy wants to stay over night. Non-verbally, if he showers and then hops back into bed, his intentions are clear too. It’s still up to you then, but unless he was a total dud it’s difficult to not agree to fall asleep with him in your arms. With an over-nighter there is also the possibility of morning sex, though there is some debate on that issue. Some believe you are paying by orgasm, if you had yours the night before you are not entitled to another one before sending the boy on his way the next morning. Others feel that as many orgasms as you can fit in are your right. More than likely, the boy will settle this matter for you, sometimes, even in Thailand, it is not up to you.
Great. So now you know what short-time offs are, and how short and how expensive they are too (kinda, sorta). That leaves the question, are they worth it? Is finishing quickly anti-climaxtic?
Many customers prefer short-time offs, feeling that they are not paying the boy for sex but rather paying him to leave after sex. A long time-off opens you to the prospectus of a long time relationship; there’s little chance you’ll move from lust to love during a short-time off. Butterflies, those who flit from one boy to the next, are notorious short-timers. That only an hour of so of his time is all that you are interested in lets the boy know right up front that you are a butterfly and your patronage will be a one-time thing.
Short time offs boil the transaction down to its basics, it’s all about the main event: sex. A short-time off allows you a full night’s sleep as well as the time to do what you want on your holiday unencumbered by the presence of a companion. Short-time offs provide for variety, and for those who can never get enough, a multitude of guys daily. It’s often about quantity not quality (though quality is not a given just because you offed a guy for long-time). And short-time is probably the best time for newbies to the Kingdom. Once you have a few dozen boys under your belt, you’ll be more comfortable with the experience, more confident in negotiating your way through the bar boy world, and can then, if that is your desire, open yourself to a long-time off and the possibility of a full-on holiday fling.
JZ said:
Some say they offer long time, but then want to go after short time.
Usually I go with the flow.
However if I really want long time on a particular night & he agrees to it, whilst still in the bar I make it clear that the short time tip is small and the long time tip is OK. Then it’s up to him.
Bangkokbois said:
Good idea JZ.
Wise to establish what you are after when it is important to you. I tend to let things develop, but if you want a long-time you should make sure that is possible before getting back to your hotel and being disappointed.
Thanks for your input.
Glenn said:
I am unable to sleep in the same bed with some one…especially some one I barely know. So it’s always short time for me.
Bangkokbois said:
Well that takes care of the question over short or long time then Glenn.
Shame though, the way Thai guys wrap themselves around you to go to sleep is an extraordinary experience.
ChristianPFC said:
I ask for long time for most offs, but the majority wants to leave after short time.
Having slept alone all my life, I cannot fall into sleep when someone is wrapped around me, so I have to tell my friends to go their side of the bed. I should try on the next occasion, it can’t be that difficult.
There is one further issue with long time: I am very comfortable sleeping without aircon or fan in winter in Thailand, and even in summer I prefer to sleep without aircon or fan because I don’t like noise and air draft. Most boys want to use aircon, so I often had to negotiate about non-use of aircon!
Bangkokbois said:
Really?
Goes to show you how easy it is to assign a trait to an enire group when it’s based on limited experience. Well, not that limited. I’ve always found the a/c negotiatiion is about how cold I want it blasting and how warm they want it set to!
xiandarkthorne said:
OH DEAR! After re-reading this post, I just realized that I’ve set myself up as a short time guy in Sunee Plaza! And (though hopefully not) in Bangkok, too, for all I know. The very first guy I offed in Pattaya would have been happy for a long time off but I had to go meet friends at the bar so even though I tipped him the equivalent of a long-time (and established another name for myself as a big tipper I suspect) I had to say good-bye quickly. No wonder the last few guys I offed in Sunee Plaza immediately jumped back into their clothes the minute they got out of the shower! And wearing a “I AM BUTTERFLY” t-shirt next time isn’t going to help much, either I reckon.
How the guys from Soi Twilight figured I was a short-timer, I really don’t know though I must confess I didn’t manage to off anyone I’d have wanted to spend the night with me after it was all over. While the sex was okay, somehow something just didn’t click for me, for some reason…guess I’ll just have to keep on searching until I find someone who pushes all the right buttons for me enough that I’d ask him to spend the night…*sigh*…it’s such an ornerous task but I’ll just have to keep on offing them one by one for a (very long) while yet.
I do think that when I find someone I’d like to off long time, however, my wearing the “I AM BUTTERFLY” t-shirt should give him a nice little surprise, especially since I don’t plan to tell him I want long time until we’ve had fun the first time. I plan on paying him off first and then only asking him if he’d like to stay on, too, as a sort of litmus test so to speak.
First of all, he won’t know if I plan on paying him more so if he does say, “Yes” then there’s a chance that there just might be enough chemistry between us to make it worth the extra tip I’ll give him the next morning. At least I hope so.
Secondly, with his emolument already in hand, he will have the chance to ask himself if it might be a worthwhile investment of his time and body. And if he thinks I’m a good enough risk (don’t forget my “I AM BUTTERFLY t-shirt will be hanging in plain sight), then there just might be enough respect for me that he could be really special.
I usually don’t like psychological games like that but I’ve had enough dud long time offs in the past that I think I should do a little more to get better value for my Baht. And when I do find someone who sets all the right bells ringing in my pants, I plan on engaging his services as a tour guide, too. There are too many parts of Thailand I haven’t seen yet in spite of being a regular sex tourist for 20 years already!
Bangkokbois said:
lol
I think you are placing too much faith in your butterfly t shirt XD. Any Thai worth his salt will know that does not apply to him!
xiandarkthorne said:
I know and that’s what makes the whole thing so wonderfully ironic, doesn’t it? I can just see the wheels turning in their handsome heads…is he for real or or is he unaware of what the Thai words say on his T-shirt?
ricky said:
Never been able to off for overnight , basically can not sleep with someone in the same bed, very concerned about waking up and being left peniless. Have heard so many stories from Rio, B.A. etc, of people being drugged and robbed. Also after the orgasm the love goes out the window. However has happened rarely that I want to adopt a street puppy….!!
Bangkokbois said:
You’re not alone Ricky, lots of guys don’t want someone staying over. As some put it: I’m not paying for sex, I’m paying for them to leave after sex.
quintin du plessis said:
HEY Guys can someone please help me! I want to know if you “off” a guy from go-go bar. And ask if he would stay with you for 3 days. Does he stay with you day and night? WHat tip would you give him per day/night.
thanks guys!
Bangkokbois said:
I’ve gotten quite a few questions recently about long-tim offs, so I’m gonna do a post later this week that should answer your questioon more fully Quintin. But usually if you off a guy for several days he does stay with you the entire time, and you pay him what you normally would tip for each day he is with you.
Quintin du Plessis said:
Hi there!
Thank you! Your blog has been keeping me up late every night! Reading in bed…till all hours. Just cant stop! You truly and amazing writer to tell a story and facts. If anyone ever needs information on Thailand…this is the site i’d give them to read. Keep up the amazing work and GREAT reading material!
Enjoy your day – Quintin
Bangkokbois said:
Thank You Quintin!
Glad you’ve been enjoying my blog. Hope it helps for your upcoming trip!
Quintin du Plessis said:
I guess, with the long stay allot of us is not sure with the following scenarios regarding the tip and the “off” fee to the bar.
First I’d like to thank you again for taking the time to reply to all our questions. For myself i’d like to get as much information on culture and customs before I go. Do not want to come across as a cheapy guy – want to pay the guys what they entitled to. But don’t want to go and come across as a gold bank either!!
1. Off a guy at 9pm from Bar Monday – Stay with you all night + Go home next morning (tuesday) after breakfast = Tip/Off Fee?
2. Off a guy at 9pm from bar on Monday. – Stay with you all night, plus the next day Tuesday till around 5pm = Tip Off Fee?
(its kinda 2 days really ?- the Monday night + Tuesday day. SO if you tip 2000 bht for an long off. You’d tip 4000 bht right?)
3. Off a guy at 9pm on Monday – Stay with you all night, + All day the next day (tuesday) Plus Tuesday night – and go home Wednesday Morning = Tip/Off fee ?
Quintin
Bangkokbois said:
I think I answered these questions in my post today, but just in case I didn’t:
1. Single off fee, standard long-time tip.
2. Single off fee, standard long-time tip, but you may want to add in another 500 baht depending on what your standard tip is. On your quoted 2,000 baht tip, I’d go 2,500 – but it would not be double on the tip or off fee.
3. Two off fees, double standard long-time tip.
Hope that helps!
Quintin du Plessis said:
Now i am clear. Thanks a million!