Gratuitous Gratuities In Gogo Bars
Tipping is not customary in Thailand. All the guidebooks, both online and in print, will tell you that this western custom is not the norm in the Kingdom. And, in Thailand, prostitution is illegal too. So of course you’ll never run across prostitutes on your visit. Nor will any Thai ask, or expect, a tip from you. But Thailand’s gay gogo bars are a world of their own. In Bangkok, that world is centered on Soi Twilight. Where you’ll find establishments full of prostitutes. And everyone involved in the business not only expects to be tipped, but will demand a gratuity from you. Hopefully, you’ll at least get an orgasm out of it.
Undoubtedly the most often asked question about tipping and gay gogo bars in Thailand is: how much? That’d be how much to tip the guy you took back to your hotel room. I’m not gonna tell you. Actually it’s not that I won’t, but rather I already have. Go hunt that post down if you must. This post, instead, is about all of the other guys – as well as those who once were guys – who will expect you to tip them. The easy rule of hand is to tip everyone. You’ll be a popular customer and all the boys will talk about what a big heart you have. All of the other customers, most of whom are expats, will talk about what a jerk you are and about how you are ruining their world. Don’t worry about it. Those guys grumble about everything anyway. The trick is to tip enough and to the right people to not be confused with an expat, and to not overtip to the point that all of the boys mark you as a sucker. Regardless of the years you’ve spent gaining that reputation.
So fill your pockets full of baht and get ready, here’s your definitive guide to tipping in Bangkok’s gay gogo bars:
Barkers & Touts: These are the guys who grab various parts of your body as you saunter down the soi trying to decide which bar to enter. Most visitors hate these guys. It’d be different if they grabbed the parts of you that you’re planning on having grabbed, but that you’ll have to wait for until you are inside a bar.
Veteran bar goers scoff at the idea of tipping barkers. Shooting them, yes. Handing over some cash? Not so much. But if you consider that tipping in the gay gogo bar world is more about extortion than gratitude, tipping the soi’s touts is a smart move. After doing so, the next time you stroll down the street they’ll be less aggressive and will greet you with a warm smile instead of pulling your arm off.
Captains: In theory, mamasans and captains are the same. In practice, captains don’t become mamasans until they master the trick of being overly aggressive, pushy, demanding, and greedy. Oh, and extremely annoying. So while most captains are mamasans, for now we’ll pretend they are actually part of the human race and are there to help you. That won’t last long.
The captain will be the first person you meet when you enter the bar. His job is to direct you to a seat. The bars are seldom so crowded you actually need help finding a seat, but the bars have learned that without a captain to direct traffic, newbies only make it as far as the first few steps into a bar. Then they stand there, dropped jaw, mesmerized by the naked and hard studs on stage. This would not be a problem except there is no money in it for the bar, so they’ve learned to help you to a seat where you can order a drink and start emptying your wallet.
It is not unusual at an entertainment venue to tip the person who seats you to score the best seat in the house. But this is Thailand. So fuck that. As the evening progresses you’ll have plenty of opportunities to tip staff members, no reason to jump in quite yet. Besides, it’s time for you to establish who is boss. The captain will lead you to either a chair at stage side, or to a spot on one of the benches, making other customers scoot over while half of the tables are still empty. Ignore him. It’s good practice for when he transforms into a mamasan.
The stage-side seats at first glance appear to be prime viewing. But sitting there means you’ll spend your evening staring up at the naked boys and you’ll spend the next day trying to find a chiropractor to fix the crick in your neck (you’d think with all the massage places in town you’d be able to find relief easily, but all of those places are in business to give you a different kind of relief). Sitting at stage-side also exposes you to various body fluids that tend to fly around once the show starts. The view from a few feet back is not only better, but safer too.
Thais are comfortable with what is familiar to them and since the captain has been sitting customers at the same table all night he’ll direct you to one that is overcrowded and overflowing. You do not want to sit there. Most of those potential tablemates are not really people you want to associate with. Plus, you will want plenty of empty space around you to fill with boys. So head in the opposite direction instead and stake out your claim at an empty table.
Waiters: After sitting down the captain will take your drink order. It will be brought to you by a waiter. In most bars all around the world it is customary to tip your waiter. Usually for each round. Thais have not yet figured this out and there is no reason for you to help them add to their tipping repertoire. Accept your drink and keep your wallet where it belongs.
The exception to this rule is when you’ve checked out all of the boys on stage and decided they all suck. Before you head off to a different bar for a better selection of meat, take a minute and check out your waiter. He may just be exactly what you have in mind. Just because he is not standing naked on stage does not mean he is not available. He is, after all, Thai. You’ll pay the bar a higher fee for offing him than you would for one of the bar boys, but waiters are usually much less jaded and have not learned how to screw you without having to screw you. Yet.
If you don’t off your waiter, at the end of your time in the bar he’ll be the employee who brings you your change. He will make sure your change is lots of worthless coins and almost as worthless small bills. The bars know guys hate coins and most will leave them as a tip regardless of how much they add up to. Don’t be surprised if your change includes coins worth several hundred baht.
A lot of customers are cheap bastards and do not leave anything as a tip, so whatever you tip will be fine. Depending on how long you sat at the bar, how cute the waiter is, and if you have a boy you are offing (who will watch to see how much you tip so he can establish how much extra to ask you for to cover his taxi after your orgasm), an acceptable tip is between 20 and 100 baht. Though if you leave 100 baht on purpose, you’ll be the first person that month to do so.
The tip you leave in the check wallet does not go to your waiter. No matter how cute he is. It goes to the ‘house’ and is supposed to be split among the waitstaff at the end of the evening. Good luck with that. If you want to tip your waiter and not the bar manager and owner, hand the check wallet back to him (with or without coins) and then place your tip directly in his hand. He gets to keep what you fork over in this manner.
It’s considered rude to tip your waiter by shoving a few bills down his pants while you cop a feel. Rude, but not unheard of. You may weigh the chance that others will think you are rude against the opportunity to molest a hot Thai guy and decide it’s worth it. Then go for it. Play dumb (you never know when a bar is looking to hire a new mamasan), you’ll get the same insincere wai that those who thought they should abide by their moral code while in a whorehouse do. Your stiffy is on the house.
Boys on Stage: If Thais were able to obtain visas for travel to other countries they’d be more clued in to tipping customs in the rest of the world. Lucky for you, they are not. While elsewhere it is customary for patrons to stuff bills in gogo boys’ g-strings while they are performing on stage, in Thailand this is not a normal practice. Even if you reach up and fondle a boy, tipping him while on-stage is not required. Fondling him while he is on stage is not required either, and is in fact not appreciated. That’s what the empty spot next to you is for. But if you can not control yourself, well, it’s amazing what a 100 baht will do toward smoothing a Thai’s ruffled feathers.
Boys Sitting With You: Unlike a boy on stage, when you are fondling one sitting with you, a tip is required. Even if you are too shy to play with the merchandise. The bar would rather you buy the boy a drink. The boy would rather you give him cash. Actually, the boy would rather you off him and give him lots of cash, but if instead you decide to throw him back into the pond, you should tip him for his time. 20 baht is plenty for a short, non-fondling chat. 100 baht is generous if you played with him; it’s not like he gave you a blow job. Unless he did give you a blow job. Then you may want to tip a bit more.
Screeching Queens: You need not, however, tip a boy who approached you on his own. Invariably, these are the fem boys who screech out a ‘Sawaaaatdeeeee kaaaaaaaa’ when they plant their ass next to you. If you lack taste in men and like this kind of boy, then feel free to keep him with you and tip him for his time. If on the other hand he makes you consider going straight, your duty is to convince him to leave you alone, not to tip him.
Getting rid of an unwanted companion at a gay gogo bar in Thailand is not easy. Little screeching queens all want to be fabulous ladyboys when they grow up, but usually become mamasans instead. Ignorance is something they are earnestly striving to master. If you try and send one on his way by saying something like, “No thank you,” it will not work. Do not be polite. His English speaking skills may be minimal, so sign language is your best form of communication. And you have several choices. The most polite is a brushing away gesture with your hand. This works best with an look of extreme disgust on your face. A quicker acting gesture, and one everyone understands, is an emphatically thrown middle finger. Best yet is the ‘two fingers in your mouth, gag reflex in use’ gesture which is also understandable the world over. The plus with using this gesture is he’ll screech in horror as he scurries away. Which is entertaining in its own right.
Boys on Your Lap: Closely related to the screeching queen is the other screeching queen who demands a tip while he is spread across your lap while being fucked by one of his bar mates. If you are too drunk to identify this tipping opportunity, the screeching queen will help you out by yelling, “Tip Meeeeeeee!” in your face. Well, actually at your crotch. This is not a tip, it is extortion. Get over it and tip him quickly so he moves on to the next sucker. Unfortunately, they don’t make 10 baht notes, so you’ll have to waste a green bill to free yourself from this horror.
You may wonder how the fucking act decides which customers get their attention. Which really means you may be wondering how to avoid having a little Thai ladyboy wannabe getting fucked on your lap. Simple. The customers who have tipped the captain for showing them to a seat, tipped the waiter every time he brought a drink, and tipped every screeching queen who planted their ass next to him, are the ones they zero in on. The road to hell is paved with good intentions and guys who tip too much at gay gogo bars.
Boys Massaging You: Whether you called a boy over, bought him drinks and tipped him, or were too big of a pussy to send the little screeching queens fleeing from your presence, if the boys in the bar note you are handing out baht they will flock to you. Throwing a bit of cash around means half of the boys will soon be surrounding you. When the good tip-getting spots are taken and a boy is already sitting on each side of you, others will stand behind you, to your side, or in front of you and massage your neck, your hands, and/or your legs (all three of them).
As with most services in the bar whether you allow this is up to you. But if you do, again, it is customary to tip the boys working on your body parts. 20 baht per boy is fine. Maybe 100 baht to the one kneeling in front of you if he kept his hands behind his back.
Boys in the Toilet: In many of the gay gogo bars you’ll also get a shoulder or neck massage when you are trying to take a piss in the toilet. I’m not sure how this custom started, or who thought a guy would enjoy a neck massage when he is trying to empty his bladder, but there ya go. Much like the screeching queens who get fucked on your lap, consider the toilet massage extortion, hand over a 20 baht note and pray the sucker leaves you alone so you can pee in peace.
The toilet massage guys are not exactly at the top of the pecking order in the bar and some become quite aggressive in their pursuit of a tip. Amazingly, they have not figured out they could get a big tip by dropping to their knees, but instead will just keep mauling your upper body in an effort to get more baht out of you. If the first 20 baht didn’t do the trick and they still won’t leave you alone, do not fall for their additional extortion attempts. You’re already armed, just direct your flow in his direction and he’ll get the idea. Or you’ll find the sole kinky Thai in Bangkok.
The Boy You Take Home: All those 20 baht tips you’ve been handing out for attention, or to be left alone, add up. If you’ve been careful, you may have enough money left to actually off a boy and take him back to your hotel with you. If you do, you probably have sex on the mind. Everyone else has more tips in mind.
The mamasan who tallies up your check bin, with off fee included, will ask for a tip. Not because she did anything to earn it, but because she’s learned that being pushy works with most Westeners. Even though she expended the least amount of effort out of all of the bar employees you tipped during your visit, she will expect 100 baht as a tip. Ignore her.
Giving money to mamasans only encourages them. She is going to demand some of the tip you give to your boy when he returns to the bar anyway. Besides, when she was younger she dreamed of a fabulous future as a ladyboy on stage, Instead she grew old and ugly and could only find employment as a mamasan. So she’s used to being disappointed. It’d be cruel of you to hold out some hope by giving her a tip, allow her to wallow in her misery while she reflects on what it was she did in a previous life to have come back as a mamasan in this one. That can count as the cultural experience for your trip.
When you get back to your hotel, unless you have been careful about where you booked, the hotel too will want a tip. They call theirs a joiner fee. It’s a tip for using your room for sex and is usually a fixed-price, anywhere from 400 to 1,000 baht and more. The hotel acts as a pimp and pimps are the only Thais you’ll run across who refuse to negotiate price. So don’t bother. Pay up. You really don’t want to waste time in the lobby when all the fun will be up in your room anyway.
Lastly, of course, is the boy himself. I already told you I’m not using this post to discuss appropriate tips for your boy d jour. But as big of a concern for newbies as how much is when. This is the part of the night where fantasy takes off and forking over cash ruins that fantasy for may customers. Fortunately, the custom in Thailand is to pay for the goods after delivery. You tip the boy after he is dressed and ready to leave. This also allows you to decide how much to tip, depending on how good of a time you had. Or how badly you hurt him.
Some guys feel most comfortable leaving the tip on the dresser (but if you do you will have to point to it). Most slip the tip to the guy just before he walks out the door. Surprisingly, most boys will take your tip without counting it, wai, smile, and leave. Not surprisingly, others count it carefully, and then, regardless of how much you tipped, ask for more. They usually will ask for money for a taxi as the excuse for more baht. You can avoid feeling like you have to give your boy more cash by making sure the tip you give includes a handful of smaller baht notes. The greedy ones will still ask, but you already got yours so ignore their pleas of poverty.
Outside of Bangkok: As a newbie you may not yet have made it to the sex tourist capital of the world, Pattaya. Tipping in Pattaya is different than tipping in Bangkok, or in any other city or town in Thailand. In Pattaya, you’ll be expected to tip everywhere you go because the entire town is a brothel. At the same time, Pattaya attracts the biggest number of cheap bastards, so being stiffed on a tip is par for the course.
You can quickly go broke tipping in Pattaya, so embrace the cheap bastard within you; no worries, you’ll blend into the crowd. A good trick if you do not want to be constantly hassled for a tip, is to learn a few phrases of Russian. Then no one will expect a tip out of you. Nor will they want to have anything to do with you. Even to a Thai, there are somethings one just doesn’t do for any amount of money.
>>> Next ‘First Timer’s Guide To Bangkok Gay Go Go Bars’ Post
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Glenn said:
I will defer to your greater knowledge. But there are certainly plenty of places where it is hard to avoid tipping a mamasan. My favorites are the ones who want you to buy them a drink for no reason. If it is some one who has been helpful or I enjoyed bantering with I will probably do it. But if it is an annoying one I basically look surprised and then probably never visit that bar again. It is weird that no one has figured out that mamasans do more to drive away customers than attract them.
I am also some one who overtips the boys when I find a place I do like. One other problem is that the boys can’t or won’t keep their mouth shut when they get a big tip which can lead to some jealousy and other problems. There is one bar in Pattaya that I really enjoy spending time in. I am sure that I have a reputation there. It can be difficult to deal with all of those pleading eyes and guys basically jerking off right in front of you looking for a tip like their cute friend got. And what people say about becoming one boy’s “property” for the duration of your visit is also true. Every time I walked into the place the call went out alerting my usual boy that I was approaching. So, sampling other boys was made much more difficult. It’s a good thing I have two hands. I think my check bin was among the highest they have seen. It practically took a calculator to add it all up. But I had fun. And some of my wealth was redistributed to the bar and its staff.
Bangkokbois said:
I’ve only met one mamasan in all my visits who was worth a tip. It’s a shame too because that position could bring in even more cash to the house if done properly. As far as over tipping, when I’m in the mood (which my wallet says is far too often) I enjoy hitting a bar and throwing money around. It really isn’t all that much, and if I drop 100 bucks in a night at a bar it’s always well spent and loads of fun. But when I just want to hit a bar, have a drink, look at some naked guys, and then go home, the nonstop onslaught for tips not earned is off-putting. (And admittedly, you can not go wild tipping in any bar and expect to not do the same on subsequent visits . . . they will remember you!)
Eli said:
Haha, so basically your first visit will set your reputation there, right? Gotcha!
Bangkokbois said:
LOL, boy you have no idea!
Barboys have memories that’d make an elephant jealous!
bebot q gomez said:
THAT WAS HELPFUL!
One question tho”…when i offed a muscle stud from Tawan once, I was in a quandary as to whether he would allow me to take pictures of him naked or in very sexy underwear…is it allowed? do I have to “tip” them extra for that?
HELP!
BEST WISHES FOR THE COMING NEW YEAR!!!
Bangkokbois said:
Generally, B, yeah, you can take pictures. But it’s all up to the guy you off. Some have no problem – whatever you want, no charge. Others don’t want naked shots that show their face. Some ask for more cash, most don’t If that’s what you want, ask. Don’t be shy. A few photos is probably a mild request compared to some of the things customers have wanted!
Mitch S. said:
Hilarious post! Perhaps my favorite yet.
“Nyet!” — I’m going to try the Russian tourist impersonation.
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks Mitch, and enjoy your new nationality!
Al said:
Tip a ‘Barker’ ….surely you jest? Hell will freeze over (unless I’m trying to get him in the sack.)
Leaving the bar because all the boys on stage suck….I don’t get this theory. Do I have an unusual mindset? LOL. Gawd, I’m drooling again, sorry ’bout that.
Bangkokbois said:
Huh. It wasn’t until your comment Al that I remembered I did off a barker once. Yet another post yet to be written . . .
“Leaving the bar because all the boys on stage suck”
lol
I walked into that one, now didn’t I?
Jim said:
Man your posts are wonderful! Thank you.
So you can get a bj in a gogo bar without offing the boy?
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks Jim.
Not on soi twilight, but the some of the smaller sleaze bars by Tawan have rooms and at Nature Boy I believe a bj comes with every drink.
Greg said:
i plan on taking a trip to bangkok and this may sound stupid but i’m just wondering what does the term offing a boy mean i would really like to know before i go thanks
Bangkokbois said:
No problem Greg. Offing refers to taking a boy away from a bar. To do so, you have to pay the bar an off fee, or bar fine, which will run between 300 and 500 baht. This money is paid to and goes to, the bar. After you take the boy to your hotel or a flop house and do your thing, you still need to tip him – the off fee has nothing to do with him being paid.
Hope that explained it and answered your question.
If not, or if you have other questions, feel free to ask.
Warwick said:
Hi. May sound funny but..does a “top” get on top of you as a guy would?
Would a “top” do very wet french kisses and play with the tits?
Maybe he will not bj and definitely not anal? Sorry for my being clueless..its my first time to go..
Bangkokbois said:
Well that’s a loaded question Warwick. Like most labels it fits loosely for a group and poorly for the individual. So every guy is going to be different. I use ‘top’ in the US sense, which is about position. Or more correctly, it means the guy who would be doing the inserting during anal sex. Thais don’t generally use that term. Most I’ve run across use ‘man.’ And sexual act wise they mean those things a ‘man’ would normally do (like being a top).
If you are considering a guy who appears to be a top, if you want him to bottom, ask – discretely – at the bar first. He may surprise you!
Top, bottom, man, gay, some guys kiss some guys do not. If you enjoy doing so, make sure to ask the guy you are thinking about offing if he does (and a demonstration at the bar if it is just a kiss is not unheard of to seal the deal). I’ve never run across a bar boy who won’t play with your nipples, so that one should not be a concern.
I think 99% of the guys will perform oral sex, though some may not do so well or for long. But most realize it goes with the job. Again, confirm first or risk disappointment later.
Warwick said:
I keep on giggling when I read your posts..and stories..hihi
They’re well laid out..now I found a better author than HC Andersen..adult that is..haha
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks Warwick and glad to know you get the humor.
Ya know Hans was gay.
And I’m pretty sure his Ugly Duckling tale was really about a tiny, ugly little penis that bloomed into a thing of beauty when it was engorged.
🙂
nishant said:
hi i am searching job in gay bar i am young hot and sexy
Bangkokbois said:
Send in your photo for posting and we’ll tell you what your chances for landing employment are . . .
xiandarkthorne said:
Sorry to revisit this earlier post but i just thought I’d comment on the most helpful mamasan at Soi Twilight. The Hotmale mamasan’s a big lady but not pushy and actually quite helpful enough that I slipped her 100 Baht of my own accord before leaving (she never once asked for a tip – not even when I left the bar the first time because my wrist injury was hurting (I’d forgotten to take my medication).
And she told me that the bar would be closing well enough ahead that I had plenty of time (like 30 minutes) to make my choice – which she helped out once I told her I liked muscular dark-skinned guys more, without asking for a tip (BIG surprise) or being too insistent about my offing anyone at all. She even asked if I wanted to off a waiter – and brought round four who fitted my criteria (no hard feelings from any one when I went for one of the boys on stage, either) and was pretty up front about the costs (even bigger surprise – no request for a tip even then).
Oh yeah, one other thing. I wish I’d re-read this article before I re-discovered the joys of Soi Twilight. I tipped everyone 100 Baht at every bar I entered (even in Pattaya though not at Tawan because nobody smiled or sat with me…maybe they were all getting ready for the show or it was still early and they’d recognized the regular big tippers while i was an unknown quantity and ended up saving quite a bit). Wish I’d known 20 Baht would have sufficed, though.
But really, I don’t regret throwing the red bills around because I think I made quite a few boys happy – and some of them did look as though they wouldn’t score an off even if the bar and stage lights had been dimmed to starlight level. And just for the record, I think I’ll stick to 100 Baht next time I’m in LOS (Pattaya, too). Where else would I get to grope a nice erect dick for just ten Malaysian Ringgit or US$3?
Bangkokbois said:
Ah yes, I know of whom you speak and she’s got the mamasan job down right.
20 baht will do ya, but 100 isn’t all that much, like you say XD, and it sure brightens the guys’ day. I’m sure you’ll be remembered fondly and greeted warmly on your next visit. Or any visit for the next 20 years.
xiandarkthorne said:
I was going to say, “Surely not after all the guys they’ll have met in the next nine months,” but then I remembered how quickly a certain lil charmer remembered me in Pattaya after just 45 minutes of fun and an unexpectedly larger tip last year. Well, I’m certainly looking forward to revisiting Soi Twilight again in that case.
as-boy said:
can a younger guy like 25 years old, tip?
I had once in a beer bar, and this cute bartender about 30 started talking to me. I knew it’s just all about the beginning of a business, and he chose who he likes too. But then when I tipped him about 100, he refused. May be I was wrong. I am too young to tip him? 😀 but well I could see that he had interest in me. I become too confuse to decide. I just wanna keep him. And yes the year after when I went to the same spot. He remembered me, every details. Only false name. Very tricky! 😀
Bangkokbois said:
I don’t think there is an age set for no tipping – but when a Thai guy is interested in you non-commercially, you are supposed to know the difference (and not offer money). That can and does happen regardless of age.
as-boy said:
hmmm…supposedly..or may be he want more than that…an off from the bar? 😀 I was just afraid to ruin everything because I’d like to go there again from time to time. And I really not get used to the procedure. Just found out that 100 THB is actually a big tip huh? and turned out being tipped is not their tradition? hmmm…may be just enough with flirting each other for the time being
Bangkokbois said:
Yup, sounds like he was flirting to me – you need to go back and hit him up again!
Robert said:
Having not yet been to Thailand, I have quetions:
1) Are there regular gay bars in Thailand that are not gogo/stripper joints? Not opposed to bars that have music and/or dance, but would prefer someplace quieter than these neon brothels. A place where average gay men go to have a drink, and find someone to take back to one’s room for fun without all the hoopla and endless tipping.
2) I’ve read that by , say, sitting in a park, or strolling along a street, one can often make eye contact with Thai men, and with a nice smile and a nod of the head, a conversation can be started which can and may hopefully lead to a hookup. I’ve heard that uniformed government employees such as soldiers and policemen, and even sometimes bell hops in better hotels can be often seduced or, at least, break the ice with the offer of chewing gum, cigarettes, bottled water, or a Big Gulp from 7-Eleven. True or urban legend.
In parting, I must say, you blog is the best written and most open and honest that I have ever read on the internet. Your understanding of human psyche and behavior is magnificent. And your writing style and humor keeps me coming back for more. Keep up the excellent work!
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks for your kind comments Robert.
There are a smattering on non-go go bars on Soi 4 (The Balcony & Telephone being the focal pair) that are more like what you’d expect of a gay bar back home. It’s possible you could meet someone there, though moneyboys too frequent that area. Same with DJ Station and GOD, though being dance clubs they won’t be quiet. I’ve hooked up with local guys at both the bars and clubs, some local gays who like farang, others who want some money even if it is only taxi fare (500 baht).
I’m not sure about how much luck you’d have on the street with a Thai who is not a moneyboy. Some of that would depend on the type of guys you like. Better luck if you like effeminate guys, if you are forward enough to take the lead. I’d stay away from police, there is an area by the Grand Palace where military guys can be picked up – but few speak English and it’s always for cash.
Outside of the clubs your best bet would be Gay Romeo, Grindr, etc. There are moneyboys using all those types of hook-ups too, but also just horny local gay guys and I’ve done well in the past using them. I’ve never had a problem either, but you should take proper precautions – others have been ripped off bringing a guy back to their hotel room. It’s usually a good idea to agree to meet in some public place first so that you can get a better feel for the guy before heading back to your hotel.
Robert said:
Thanks for your answers.
Wouldn’t taking on a moneyboy be a better deal than offiing a bar boy? I mean, with all the tipping and offing fees involved at a GoGo bar, offering a money boy 1500 to 1700 baht for a short stay romp would seem to be a good deal for both parties involved. Or is there something more dangerous about money boys that one would not have to deal with when offing a bar boy? Criminal activity, sexually transmitted diseases, etc.?
Also, do most of the better hotels have small safes in the rooms to hide valuables, such as cell phone, watch, camera, passport or visa, etc. You have said in other posts that you have left your valuables on the dresser or nightstand while “entertaining” guests. But that was with Noom, and there is trust between you two. Other boys offed may not be as trustworthy. Along those lines, it’s probably not a good idea to wear any bling like gold chains or expensive watches or carry high-end Nikon or Canon digital SLR cameras or iPads out on the street, where theives on scooters can grab and go.
Finally, with the realtive ease of finding sex in Thailand, wouldn’t the odds be high of hooking up with a boy infected with HIV, syphyllis, clamydia, etc? Or do the bar boys have to get regular health check-ups like the girls do at Nevada or Amsterdam brothels?
Thanks, again for all your help.
Bangkokbois said:
Depends on the moneyboy, but yes you could save on the off fee and any tips you might otherwise make by picking up trade off the street instead of at a gogo bar. But that may be more risky. I prefer paying a bit more at a bar and having a bit more security from offing a guy from the bar – not to mention getting to see exactly what I’m buying in advance – than risking the unknown off the street or via on-line hook-ups.
Most hotels do have a room safe. I travel with lots of cash and keep the majority in the safe until I need it. But even when I off a guy other than Noom, my wallet and pocket cash (still several hundred bucks) gets thrown on the dresser. My cameras, computer, and cell phone stay out too. And I’ve never had a problem. Others lock everything up regardless.
I don’t know of any bars who require health checks of their staff, so yes STDs should be a concern and playing without protection is dangerous. As it is anywhere in the world.
as-boy said:
If i may share an opinion here for Robert: Everything has a price. If you don’t like to tip, youll have to pay it with courage – the starter, everywhere; the street, the bar, the club. on my experience, only money boy approach. Although that doesnt mean the one who stays quiet are not cash-oriented. better ask in a gentle way when the time comes.
As a happy-go-lucky boy, I like to approach and say Hi to some guy ( I wish I have more effeminate brain to wait for any signal before). Turned out, with asian face and approaching them. Some rude guy can misunderstand a friendly greeting as an offer for transaction, directly use their hand to shoo. Ouch! Nevermind, experience is the best teacher. Now I not only have the ability to recognize a country from people face, but also I can tell which country that has no manners and should be avoided the most. Usually the guy who approach or being little bit more agressive is money-oriented..
as-boy said:
Duh! If only you post this earlier…………………………..
But I like the writing style of this one! 😉
Tony said:
A comment. I am a professional stationed in Bangkok. I enjoy your writing and it is both stylish and funny. But your image of Thailand is as one large brothel where every male can be bought and will do anything for the mighty Baht. Do you think it is relevant to note that Bangkok is a city of 12 million people in a city which hosts the second most important economy in South-East Asia. It is a city which in fact is based of banking, trade, manufacturing, export and tourism of which most is not related to sex tourism. The city hosts some of the finer hospitals on earth and the hotels provide the best service experiences anywhere in Asia. It is a civilized city with hundreds of thousands of gay professional class Men (as opposed to That-boys) and in fact there are quite separate distinctions within Thai society. The world you describe is a particular sector of Esan-Lao culture characterized by economic adventurers who have traditionally come from this poorest province to Bangkok and Pattaya to sell or do anything they can to make money. I am not suggesting it does not exist as it is a significant sub-component of Thailand’s tourism economic paradigm. But it would seem that you label every Thai male and presumably woman as a different kind of human being just waiting to smell money in order to lay down. I enjoy your writing and some of the incites are interesting. But doesn’t anyone date doctors or lawyers here, or university students and is there no such thing as a Thai professional class or do all those lawyers or the guys working at the international consultancy companies here all head for Soi Twilight to make an extra baht?
Bangkokbois said:
As tempted as I am to make some flippant remark, I won’t. That’d be too easy.
🙂
If I were a better person I’d include a large disclaimer on my blog stating that it represents a very, very small segment of Thai society. I probably should even go as far as saying every gay Thai guy you meet is not a money boy. And that every straight Thai guy you meet is not willing to go gay for pay. But that would do little for my SEO ranking on Google. And I assume most readers can figure that out for themselves.
I’ve met several local gay guys, professionals, who are not money boys, who have never been or want to be anywhere near Soi Twilight, who even turn their nose up at the idea of hitting DJ Station, GOD, or even the bars and pubs on Soi 4. They don’t share my fascination with MBK either. Maybe one day I’ll write an article about one of them.
But this blog’s main focus is on the tiny little part of the country that many gay visitors know and love. And that’s the part their dick found. And their wallet paid for. Or that they hope to find and are willing to pay for. It is the large part – and for some, the only part – of their Thailand experience. That part of Thai society is also the biggest draw on my blog. Mention ‘go-go bar’ and that post will get a thousand hits within its first week. Mention penis and we’re talking 5,000. Wats, shopping, attractions, not so much. So even within the gay tourist arena, the predominate interest is on sex. Which 90% of gay visitors will pay for. And I don’t know how much interest there would be in a How To Pick Up A Gay Doctor In Thailand post would be. ‘Cuz it would be the same as picking up a gay doctor anywhere in the world.
The points you raise in your comment are valid ones Tony, they’re just not part of the story I’m telling on this blog. But who knows, maybe that will change. So thanks. And thanks for being a regular reader here too.
Tony said:
Great that you replied to this post and I have never read your blog before nor am I especially a reader of blogs. But a couple of things strike me. The quality of your writing balanced with the way you square away the subject matter. Where does the 90% stat come from? I think that if you wrote a blog on decapitation you would also get a lot of hits. I do hope you write something on, for instance, the huge gay scene in Ottoko which exists for gay people though many foreigners also attend these bars. Should one approach a Thai man (as opposed to Thai boy – why are they always Thai boys even in their 40s) and the offense would be palpable. I like how you write about other places in Asia and I note your reference to exposing the “Thai boys” not especially being disposed to dancing semi-naked for octogenarians. Your stories are correct but as you are decent enough to admit appeal or are targeted at a large demographic of society in Thailand – homosexuals. But where do the doctors go? the lawyers? the bankers? Lao-Esan fortune seekers who did not arrive on a bus and seemingly find their way to Soi Twilight? Are there professional bars around? How do they work? You get the hits because of good writing and sensational topics and the two are a media success. But I hope you use your skills to broaden in Thailand as you have in other countries. For the record, I think Soi 4 is terrific, Soi 2 fabulous and closer to a traditional gay scene and Soi Twilight is a wonderful sense of theatre and I love watching the passing parade. The Lao-Esan boys have not a lot to do with the rest of Thai society and they are lovely and far from bad. AS for the Octogenarians… Well… I like especially your reference to expats being mean with money and I enjoy my conversations with those who will spend half an hour talking about saving 5 baht on a cup of coffee or 15 baht on a jug of beer. But as you correctly mention, a lot of them come here with seriously constricted budgets so one must not judge. Thanks for addressing my comment. I would like to ask you this question and your opinion would be worthwhile: Have you read the book, “BANGKOK BOY” and what do you make of it? Is it real? Did Chai Pinit exist or has the writer either made-it-up or use an amalgam of personalities to create what would seem to be a stunning tapestry of the straightest gay street on earth, that being the legendary Soi Twilight? Q: 2 – what happened to the actual Twilight Club? Thanks. Tony.
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks Tony.
Twilight morphed into the New Twilight which was renamed to Hot Male when it was sold. It’s not much different from what it was a few years ago and still attempts to be the bad boy of the block, but that’s a more difficult trick to pull off these days.
I did read Bangkok Boy. Chai is a real person. I haven’t seen him around the soi in the last year but before that he hung about quite often. But the story told was heavily farang-ified and I’m guessing a lot of Chai’s input was what he thought the author wanted to hear.
I’ll consider doing a post on decapitation and see how it goes.
🙂
Most non-scene gay meetings (outside of Grindr hook-ups) are by word of mouth – especially if you are not Thai. So getting to know some expats does have advantages. Assuming they are those with regular or professional Thai boyfriends as opposed to ex-bar boys decades younger than them. You can also (maybe) meet non-working guys at the not gay clubs gays go to where the local boys go like RCA, but that’s more about groups of friends meeting other groups of friends than one on one. I don’t know that Thailand is really that much different than elsewhere in the world in that regard – outside of the gay bars, where do you meet other gay guys?
Mitch S. said:
Rush, do you see a resemblance to this troll’s bad writing and another recent troll? Maybe Timmy! can tell you for sure if you have a hydra on your hands.
Do people read gay blogs for non-gay topics? We know twisted fucks like Fountainbore post non-gay topics on gay boards for some unfathomable reason (starved for attention is my most generous assumption), but there are non-gay boards where their dull writing would be more appropriately posted.
I’ll leave it to Christian to point out the functional illiterate troll’s numerous punctuation, capitalization, and grammar errors; however, he should get a special award for a record number of sentences beginning with conjunctions! Based on his lack of writing ability and poor logic, I think he is not a professional at all.
For example, some chuckles include:
* “Bangkok is a city of 12 million people in a city” [Perhaps “country” was the concept?]
* “some of the finer hospitals on earth” [Two highly rated hospitals in BKK; of course, those two hospitals don’t serve everyone in BKK. A more informed opinion might be that Thailand can be a value for medical tourism. In my visits to top Thai hospitals (including a surgery, routine exams, and emergencies for friends), I’ve been impressed with the low cost, but the overall quality of service is much lower than I am used to in the USA.]
* “the hotels provide the best service experiences anywhere in Asia” [Several errors with that statement. It isn’t limited in scope to “some” hotels and those few top hotels have Conde Nast Traveler ratings on a par with the top hotels in other Asian political and financial capitols.]
* “civilized city with hundreds of thousands of gay professional class Men (as opposed to That-boys)” — I’ve heard of the It Girl, but what is a That-boy? Talk about pulling a number out of thin air. That many gay professionals in BKK? Really? I’ll go way out on a limb here and guess that there aren’t over 200,000 professionals of all sexual orientations in BKK. Maybe he thinks a professional is someone who wears a uniform to a counter job at KFC? Civilized? Is he actually talking about Bangkok? Ridiculous! Perhaps he isn’t “stationed” in Bangkok at all. Perhaps he heard of the uncivilized airport closure, the Abhisit ordered murders, the taxi driver who murdered a BKK stationed professional (fluent Thai speaker with Thai wife), etc. Civilized? My generalization: Many rude fucks in BKK.
* “Esan-Lao culture” — First time I’ve seen that spelling of Isan. Wikipedia’s entry starts: “Isan; also written as Isaan, Isarn, Issan, or Esarn.” I hope this cluck protests to Wikipedia to have his unique spelling included. Anyway, my extensive studies of Thailand’s sex trade hardly leads me to generalize that prostitutes in Thailand are from Isan. Not true for gay for pay as well.
* “most is not related to sex tourism” [as well as] “significant sub-component of Thailand’s tourism economic paradigm” — The mental midget argues both sides of a topic he raises, which leads the reader to wonder what he really thinks or if he can even think.
* “Thai professional class” — As in “working girls” or “she’s a pro!” ผู้หญิงพรรค์อย่างว่า = “that sort of woman.” More seriously, Thailand has a growing middle class as well as a small professional class which the troll repeatedly over-emphasizes. Just because not everyone in those two classes is interested in gay sex for money, it doesn’t mean some of those same people are unwilling to take bribes from Thai people, immigrants & tourists, unwilling to scam tourists for money, etc. Some in those two classes do have sex for money. Some are in those two classes because they have higher incomes from having sex for money. Someone who lives in Thailand might be aware that it is not uncommon for Thai young people from good middle-class families to turn tricks to support a better lifestyle than their allowances allow.
Bangkokbois said:
I think you’ve been reading the forums too long Mitch!
martin said:
I fucked only 6 yo boy in Bangkok…oh yeah!! after two hours my dick was full in his little asshole and he was happy!!
dookie said:
I am going to BKK in a couple weeks. Definitely your posts are part of my homeworks to prepare for the trip, thank you very much. I hope the amount of tips have not much changed now in 2016 (?). If anyone could update the latest “how much” would be very much appreciated.