You don’t have to spend much time in Thailand to realize that Thais are in love with elephants. You don’t have to spend a lot of time in Laos to realize Laotians are in love with stairs. Preferably exceptionally steep sets that seem to go on forever. Planning on visiting Luang Prabang? Consider spending a few months on your StairMaster at home before you even think about it. While there, you can forget about picking up any T shirts, bumper stickers, decals, or other ‘I-visited-Luang-Prabang’ souvenirs; anyone in the know will take one look at your thighs of steel and immediately realize you’ve recently been to Luang Prabang. They bill the town as a World Heritage City, they should promote it instead as extreme exercise tourism.

Everywhere you go in Luang Prabang you’ll be greeted by stairs. If the gods are with you, it’ll only be a few planted on top of each other leading into a cafe, a store, or the room at your hotel. Wats, of which there are a few thousand in this small provincial town, tend to enjoy a good display of stairs too, though some don’t get carried away and only require you to scale a short flight; sometime no more than needed to adequately accommodate the shoes of visitors.

But then any temple compound really worth seeing requires a bit of work. Nothing in life is free, all good things require some effort. So expect to climb at least a flight of 30 – 40 stairs to gain entrance to the more popular wats in town. And don’t complain. Because if you are headed for the #1 ‘must-see, must-do” attraction in Luang Prabang (which, of course includes a temple) then you’re looking at over one thousand steps. All of them singularly short and collectively steep. Which won’t pose a problem except for the truly frail. But you won’t meet that particular work-out until late in your day. Which means you’ll have already spent a good eight hours scaling enough stairs you’ll wonder why there are no sherpas available for hire in Luang Prabang. And marvel that unlike climbing Mt. Everest – an only slightly more gruelling task – that your path isn’t littered with the dead and decaying bodies of those who came before you but didn’t quite have what it took to reach the summit.

But don’t let the idea of all that exercise put you off. Luang Prabang is worth the effort. It’s a little slice of Heaven in SE Asia. Think Chiang Mai about twenty years ago. Except with less backpackers. The Lao people are warm, friendly, and accommodating. The little town a jewel filled with wonderful surprises at every turn. And up every flight of stairs. There are no McDonalds. There are no 7/11s. And best of all: there are no Starbucks. But then one sip of Lao coffee – at least for true coffee aficionados – and you’ll understand why Starbucks wouldn’t dare show its face anywhere near Luang Prabang.

I’m sure Laotians are aghast that they were unable to find a good excuse to throw in a few flights of stairs at the airport in Luang Prabang. It’s undoubtedly a national disgrace. Unable to go with the literal though, they went with the figurative. Getting to Luang Prabang is no easy feat. And upon arrival they’ve carefully laid out steps for visitors to follow.

You can take a bus down from Vientiane, the Lao capital and its largest city. You can also bus in, kinda, sorta, from Thailand. Both are inexpensive trips. But then since both involve riding a bus, neither is an acceptable option in my book. I love travel in SE Asia. As long as it involves a plane. Preferably one that will land safely. Flying in from Thailand means either Lao Air or Bangkok Airways. Landing safely means Bangkok Airways, an airline I’ve come to love. But they are well known for steep prices on routes that offer no competition. So be prepared to pay dearly for the short flight. And be prepared to fly on a plane that still uses the outdated technology of propellers.

Upon arrival at the quaint little airport Lao officialdom has laid out a series of steps for you to go through to enter their country. It’d be long lines and a major hassle if Luang Prabang was a more popular destination. Or if more airlines flew there. Instead the process takes less than half an hour. Step one is the first line whose sole purpose is for you to hand in your passport and your photograph for your visa. Forgot to bring a photo? No problemo. For a buck they’ll handle that for you. Of course for a buck ‘handling’ it means taking your money. You’ll never pose for a picture nor will you ever see one taken of you. There won’t be one on your visa. But its a small expense, and if it’s your first visit to SE Asia, a wonderful introduction to the area and its odd brand of logic.

Step #2 is line #2, where you pay your visa fee and get your passport back, hopefully with your visa attached. The cost of the visa depends on your home country. Visitors from most European countries pay $30. Americans pay $35. You can pay in baht or US dollars, but the baht exchange rate is bad and that option ends up costing more. There’s also a $3 processing fee.

Step #3, in case you haven’t guessed, is line #3. This is where two immigration officials review your passport, act surprised to find a Lao visa in it, pass your passport back and forth a few times, and then finally stamp their mark of approval in it to clear you entry into their county. Laos, in case you didn’t know it, is a communist country. It’s wonderful to see that there is little difference between communist and capitalist government workers. And should belay any concerns you might have had about entering a communist country. Same, same, but really not so different after all.

After collecting your luggage, a few dozen steps (but no stairs yet) will take you outside for a ride into town. If you didn’t arrange transpo with your hotel, there is a taxi desk set up immediately outside the arrivals door. Which is immediately adjacent to the departures door. And yes, you can depart from the arrivals door and arrive from the departures door. I checked. That’s the kind of thing I do. And why I tend to get into trouble so often.

The cost for a ride into town is fixed at $6. That covers up to three people. Your taxi will actually be a mini van. And you share the ride with as many touri as they can cram into the van. But it’s a short ride into town and even with dropping off your fellow visitors at their hotels first, you’ll still be at your new home within a half of an hour.

Word is that just outside the fence surrounding the airport unauthorized tuk tuks can be had. I only saw one. Like with tuk tuks all over SE Asia, you can barter for the price of your ride into town. And while you may pay more, the lowest they will go is $6. Uh, taxi? The transpo area is also the first place you’ll encounter stairs in Luang Prabang. Three of them. They’ve also provided a short ramp next to the stairs, just to fool you. My advice is to take the stair option. You need to slowly break your system into their use and this will be the shortest staircase you’ll find on your trip.

Goggling info about Luang Prabang before your trip you’ll often read that the town is so small its walkable, or at least rideable by bike. What those previous visitors really mean is that Sisavangvong Road, the main street in the touri area is walkable. Even adding in the frontage road along the rivers, its still just a stroll from one end of town to the other. But the town itself is much larger than the area than most touri play in, so don’t be fooled. You may want to broaden your journey of discovery. And that means hiring a tuk tuk. But let me dispense with that bike thingy first.

Yes, languorously peddling a bike through dappled sunlight along the quaint streets of this riverside town is a picturesque idea. If you are young. And if you regularly ride a bike back home. Remember those stairs I was telling you about? Well guess what set of muscles riding a bike and climbing stairs has in common? Don’t know? Well you will after one day of engaging in both activities. Or you will if you can get out of bed the next day. If you are well-toned and hit the gym regularly back home, go for it. If not, save yourself from the suffering. There are enough stairs in your immediate future, you won’t be missing out on any pain by passing on the bike ride.

Around town tuk tuks are cheap. They run between 5,000 and 10,000 kip per passenger. That’d be sixty cents to a buck and a quarter. Like with tuk tuks throughout SE Asia, bartering for the price is part of the ride. But Luang Prabang’s tuk tuk drivers are not as aggressive as you’ll find elsewhere, and after their initial ridiculous asking price you can just name yours and hop in. Also unlike elsewhere, you can actually walk past a tuk tuk without being hit up for a ride. Sure a few will sing out a hopeful “tuk tuk?’ as you pass, but most drivers are content with just watching you pass by. They know it’s a short walk to wherever you’re headed too. Besides, a nap is a better way for them to spend the afternoon than shepherding your ass around their town.

There are two types of tuk tuks available in Luang Prabang. The one with part of a motorcycle attached is for short jaunts around town. They are used by locals and touri alike. The other is a bit larger, a small – and I mean small – truck. These are for longer trips. No problem if you are not sure which to use for your destination. If you get it wrong the driver will direct you to his buddy with the correct vehicle.

Walking, a bike, tuk tuk #1, tuk tuk #2, or a boat for destinations along either the Mekong or Nam Khan river, the choice of how you get to where you are going is up to you. What you have little choice of is once you arrive, there will be stairs involved. You may not notice all the stairways the first day or two of your visit. By day three, your thighs will groan every time you hit a new touri spot. Deal with it. As much of a pain climbing all those stairs may be, in Luang Prabang whatever is waiting for you up top is well worth the effort.