Uh, oh.
Noom, my bar boy friend and current love of my life, has turned into a traveller who lounges. And of course, I take full responsibility. Wait. Hold that thought. I can lay the blame at Air Asia’s feet instead. Their inability to figure out how to take a credit card on-line as payment for a set of tickets brought about Noom’s new found preference in air travel. He probably never heard the long defunct carrier Western Airlines’ famous slogan, but subscribes to the notion wholeheartedly when it comes to the joy of hanging at an airline’s lounge: it’s the only way to fly.
When Noom and I have flown off together in the past, it’s always been on Air Asia, the airline I love to hate. Air Asia is Walmart with wings. They pursue the type of person as a customer that I generally try to avoid in life. But, they’re cheap and so always came up the winner for short flights within SE Asia in the past. Noom was always content with the carrier, not knowing any better. But this time around we flew Bangkok Airways. Which bills itself as Asia’s boutique airline. And does a pretty good job of trying to live up to their slogan. In my opinion. In Noom’s they far exceeded expectations.
Noom generally considers minor little annoyances like airline schedules beneath him. He assumes since he is Thai his fellow countrymen will hold the plane for him if he’s running a bit late. That Air Asia usually is running even later themselves feeds his belief. I knew he’d enjoy the airline lounge experience but didn’t want to give the game away in advance so resorted to telling him a little white lie. As far as he knew the plane was leaving an hour and a half earlier than it was actually scheduled to take off. No problemo. Noom made sure we were a half hour late anyway. Even with my rushing him.
Once at the airport though it was difficult to hide the actual flight time from him. “Why you tell me 8 o’clock?” he asked, just a bit peeved over only having time to go back for thirds at our hotel’s breakfast buffet. His wasn’t a rhetorical question, but then he figured it out before I could reply. And scoffed. “You not that smart,” he informed me not willing to give up any points for what he assumed was an attempt at a sly move on my part.
But the nice thing about Noom is that he doesn’t hold a grudge, and willing puts up with my shit knowing if necessary he can arrange for some payback later. So he happily led the way through the security check, proud of his vast knowledge of the workings of Suvarnabhumi Airport and pulled his normal stunt of having packed what for anyone else would be banned creams, lotions, and gels. The Thai TSA girls surveyed his collection, and as usual with him, carefully packed it all back in his carry-on and sent him on his way laden with all the goodies the terrorists of the world would like to smuggle on board the plane they plan on blowing up.
Noom thought he had the airport thingy down to a science. Until I led him away from the gate and to Bangkok Airways’ lounge. “Where we go?” he asked a bit confused. He knew where we were supposed to be going and yet I was leading him elsewhere. Had it been him leading us off track it would have been of no concern. He’s Thai. That supersedes and negates all when in Thailand. But with a crazy falang obviously lost, who knew what could happen? When I opened the door to the lounge and ushered him in he gave me a not very trusting look, which disappeared quickly when he saw the interior. “Dis nice,” he proclaimed still unsure of why we were there.
So I explained it to him. Or explained the airline lounge thing to him. I built up the exclusivity of the experience without telling him that all passengers on Bangkok Air get lounge access. He took to the idea like a fish to water. Status has a grand place in his world. And when I pointed out the refreshments were free, he fell in love. And settled in. For life.
And all was good in Noom’s world until he thought back upon previous flights we’d taken together. Which earned me a bitch slap. No, an actual physical one. “Why we fly Air Asia?’ he demanded, his question reeking derision at the mere mention of the low cost carrier. Good thing I’d already decided to boycott Air Asia because it was obvious I’d never manage to get Noom to board one of their planes again.
We were headed to Luang Prabang, visiting Laos being one of Noom’s Grand Desires in life. His family, several generations ago, came from there and he felt the need to discover his forefathers’ land. But that need of the soul quickly took a backseat to the airport lounge experience. When it was time to head to the gate to board, his disappointment was obvious. I could see the little gears in his mind spinning, trying to figure out how he could skip the flight in favor of a few more hours in the lounge instead. He finally gave in, checking to see if there was further opportunity for enjoyment to come. “In Lao,” he phrased carefully to ensure I understood both the importance and point of his question, “we get lounge again?”
I laughed. And made sure he understood that’d be when we flew back to Bangkok and not upon arrival. The flight itself was short. And an old-hat experience for Noom who has become quite the frequent flyer since we hooked up. But Bangkok Air gained a few more points when they quickly passed out a rather mediocre food tray they’d decided to call breakfast.
Having flown on Air Asia enough times, Noom had to check. He leaned over and whispered quietly, “Free?” When I confirmed his good fortune he smiled. And then bitch slapped me again with a disgruntled, “Air Asia!”
Needless to say, for our flight back to Bangkok, for once Noom was the one making sure we arrived at the airport in plenty of time. And once again he basked in the airport lounge experience. I pity any customer in the future who decides to take Noom on a flight somewhere and makes the grave error of not flying Bangkok Airways.
SA. said:
How do I contact Noom? I need to inform him of Thai Airways Business and First lounges. Oh, also Singapore Airlines isn’t so shabby either ;-))
dropdeadguys said:
Bastard!
🙂
SA. said:
But a really nice bastard.
dropdeadguys said:
Oh. Did I forget to mentiion that SA?
🙂
Glenn said:
All PG passengers get lounge access? That’s news to me.
dropdeadguys said:
Yup, lounge is free for all Bangkok Airways passengers. But there’s a nicer one for the folk who shell out more for better seats.
D.W said:
Have you signed him up for his frequent flier membership yet?
One he figures out that elite/gold membership has a few additional perks, he will probably want to start a few mileage runs.
Should give the rest of us on the long-haul flights additional eye-candy to look at! 🙂
dropdeadguys said:
Nice DW, just thinking about yourself!
(But shhhhhh. Let’s not mention gold membership too loudly. Noom’ll have a spreadsheet ready next time I see him outlining all the trips we need to take to get him the status he deserves.
Kevin said:
Wow this blog is amazingly useful for me. I am in Bangkok and have been in Thailand for about 6 weeks now. I am an American, left my home there September 1st to join a group of people for a inspiring change of perspective and scenery. Our group Joined in Bali. From there I spent 10 days then went on to Singapore and the spontaneously I made plans to go to Thailand . I began in Phuket. Stayed through the vegetarian festival in Phuket town. But first enjoyed the phi phi islands and Laguna area. Then Patong. I am now in Bangkok. Saw the palace. Went to soi4 and have shopped til I drop. But I wonder if I am missing many sights and experiences. Can you suggest some for a solo English speaking only “forang” guy? I’m 29 and single. Thanks
dropdeadguys said:
Yikes!
That could be an extremely long list Kevin!
I assume you hit Wt Pho when you did the Grand Palace? If not, go back and do so. But after seeing the reclining Buddha, wander the entire complex. It’s beautiful.
I just did the erwan? erwana? museum. It’s the elephant museum out by the new Bearing BTS station. Google it (sorry, top of my head and my head has lots of scotch in it right now). Really was a beautiful attraction.
Even of you are shopped out, if you’re around when the waters recede, go out to the weekend market (Mo Chit BTS station). It’s incredible and huge – even if you are not shopping anymore.
Khaosan Road is worth a visit, just for a different view of the city. And there’s a few good clubs (straight) there that you should enjoy at night.
Drop me a note about what type of place interests you and I’ll be glad to add a few more suggestions.