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Chris was the tagalong addition to a small group of friends I’d invited to join me on my annual year-end trip to the Kingdom. He was a friend of a lesbian couple I’d invited, who in turn invited him. So we didn’t know each other before landing in Bangkok. In his late twenties, Chris is tall, very white, with dark hair and a nose too big for his face. But his height and limpid dark eyes save him from being homely. Some would even say he’s attractive. And he considered himself good looking enough that the idea of paying for sex while on holiday in Thailand was not part of the plan. However, being a gay man, getting laid was.
Obviously the majority of farang patrons of Bangkok’s gay go go bars are older guys. Some even qualify as ancient. Most are fat. Many bald. You look at them, especially those with that bitter scowl on their face, and think, “Duh. Of course they have to pay for sex.”
Conversely, the thinking is that younger guys, those still attractive and in shape, can get laid for free. They certainly don’t have to pay for sex back home, so it follows their sexcapades in Thailand will be free, too. But then, this is Thailand. And it is difficult to refuse the sweet smile and beautiful willing body of a Thai bar boy. Whatever the cost.
On our first night in town I started the group off easy by introducing them to Patpong’s less seedy night life on Soi 4. Chris was a hit with the fem waiters at The Balcony and had several admirers trying to flirt with him. It was funny watching his reaction. On one hand, he appreciated the attention. Probably much more than he ever got at home. On the other, he was uncomfortable; strange dark boys in a strange gay lane smack dab in the middle of what he’d been told was a neighborhood of whorehouses. When teasing him got to be old, the girls wanted to hit somewhere a bit more risque. That’s why they are my friends. I hadn’t yet called Noom, my bar boy friend and current love of my life, so wanting to avoid Soi Twilight where he works, I took them over to Tawan for some muscle viewing. Just in time for the late show.
Having visited Thailand for over 25 years, the shows at the gay gogo bars of Bangkok have lost their appeal. Hard to believe naked guys performing sex acts on stage could become hohum, but there ya go. Experiencing a show with newbies to that world reminded me of how damn exciting those shows can be. When we got to Tawan, Nut, a muscle stud who works there who is an old friend of mine, spotted me right away and came over. The girls were speechless staring at his beefy – and near naked – body. Chris, who had earlier claimed he didn’t like muscled guys, was drooling. We stayed through the show, and I made sure Chris’ lap got to participate in the grand finale. Chris seemed to be more appreciative than I have ever been about having a naked Thai boy being fucked while invading your personal space. The girls, who couldn’t stand up straight from laughter, had to be helped out of the bar.
Our second night in town we headed to Dick’s for dinner. After ordering I ran up to Noom’s bar to off him for the duration of the trip. Back at the restaurant, Noom in his typically gregarious manner, made instant friends with the girls and Chris. Or so he thought. I don’t think Chris was quite as taken with Noom as Noom was with Chris. It started with a hand shake. Then Noom looked at him, sizing Chris up, and announced, “You gay.”
Laughter all around. No offense taken; the whole group was gay, sitting at a gay restaurant on a gay street filled with gay bars. But Noom didn’t mean ‘gay’ but rather his interpretation of gay which means ’not a Man.’ That’d be a bottom to you.
Noom, in reference to his soft features and long eyelashes, immediately dubbed Chris ‘Pretty Boy’ and called him that the rest of the trip. But for tonight, Noom was there to help. In his experience gay guys only come to Thailand for one thing: sex. And the place to get sex is a gay go go bar. And Noom wanted to find Chris the perfect guy. So he immediately followed up by questioning Chris about the kind of guy he liked.
It started with, “You like big cock?”
“Um, no. I mean, yes. I mean no, I don’t want a guy. I’m fine,” Chris stammered.
Knowing better, Noom shot back, “Oh, yes! You like big cock! You Pretty Boy!”
The girls were rolling on the floor with laughter. “You want muscle boy, you want young boy?” Noom asked trying to narrow down the type of guy that would make Chris happy.
“No! I’m fine!” Chis asserted. “I don’t want a boy!”
“No, you want Man!” Noom cooed. “You Pretty Boy!”
By now the girls were hysterical and aping Noom’s ‘Pretty Boy’ cry. Chris was quickly moving from embarrassment, to being uncomfortable, to getting pissed. Noom sensed his change in attitude and was completely confused. He’d only been trying to help. He turned to me, concerned, “I no understand.”
Taking the easy way out, I replied, “he shy.”
“Oh, shy! Pretty Boy shy!” Noom crowed with complete understanding.
He backed off a bit, giving Chris some space with Chris emphatically mumbling, “I. Don’t. Want. A. Boy!”
We finished dinner and polished off a few rounds of drinks, then Noom felt it was time for his new fiends to visit his bar, Clapping his hands twice, he announced, “We go!” and led us up the stairs for showtime at Hot Male.
Tawan has a totally different ambiance than the other gay gogo bars in Bangkok. The air there reeks with testosterone, the scent of sweaty jockstraps courtesy of the bar’s beefy muscle bar boys. It’s a muscle worshiper’s heaven. Hot Male, on the other hand, is just plain sleazy, the ambiance as dark as a convict’s soul. Located where the infamous Twilight Bar once squatted, it has a reputation to uphold. And Noom too had a reputation to uphold. One of double duty. He had that Thai sense of responsibility of ensuring his new friends were happy and having a good time. And he had a responsibility to his bar mates of ensuring if anyone on the soi landed the fresh meat he had in tow, it’d be a boy from Hot Male. Poor Chris didn’t stand a chance.
But he tried. He made sure he sat with the girls and me between him and Noom. No problemo. Noom leaned across the three of us, grabbing Chris’ leg and asked, “What boy you like?”
Chris, in a fresh panic tried again. “I. Don’t. Want. A. Boy!”
So we ordered drinks instead while the parade of boys in their white shorts listlessly made their way across the stage. Noom surveyed his bar mates, looking for the perfect choice for his new friend, oblivious to Chris’ reluctance. Meanwhile the girls teased Chris cooing ‘Pretty Boy’ into his ear. I took pity on the boy and went over to sit next to him.
“Look,” I said. “He’s just trying to help. And he’s not going to stop until he feels you’ve been taken care of. So just pick a guy. He’ll come sit by you, you buy him a drink. Talk. That’s it. You don’t have to do anything.”
Reassured somewhat, Chris lightened up. But not after first checking to see what this would cost him. Chris is cheap. Really, really cheap. I slipped him 100 baht and told him that would cover it (I’d already planned on covering the check bin). And Chris took that first step down the slippery slope into the world of whoredom: he admitted that #18 looked good. Ha! I called Noom’s name, nodded at Chris, nodded at #18, and Noom did the rest. Soon Chris was joined by Toon, a dark skinned beauty. And yes, a Man. Great smile, nice chest. I left him to Chris as I heard Toon start the familiar refrain, “Where you from?”
The girls drink like fish. No pun intended. So we had quite a few rounds, growing more boisterous as the night progressed. I’d look over to check on Chris every now and then. He was becoming good friends with Toon. Maybe he was too young and too okay looking to have to be buying companionship in Bangkok, but he seemed to be enjoying the attention and I noticed his hand kept rubbing along the length of Toon’s bare leg. It was getting late and the bar would soon close. Seeing the party wasn’t close to being over, Noom suggested we finish the night at G.O.D.
Disco? Yup, the girls were ready to dance. I went back over to Chris to let him know he was off the hook, that we were headed to a club to dance. “But what about him?” he asked.
“Uh. Well,” I said, considering how best to sum up his options. “If you want him to come along, you’ll have to tip him.”
Cheap Chris came back quickly with, “How much?”
I’d already figured on covering the off fee, and I got a kick out of the ‘I don’t pay for sex’ Chris already trying to negotiate the price for a night’s companionship. Might as well just lay it out. “Just to the club, 500 baht,” I said. “If you want him to come back to the hotel, 2,000.”
“What!” Cheap Chris exclaimed. “I can’t afford 2,000!”
Uh, huh. Forget the ‘just to the club’ option. And no argument about paying for sex either. His argument was on the price. “Never mind,” I told him. “My treat.”
Hey, it’s not that I’m that generous. But playing a part in Chris’ downfall into the sleazy world of commercial sex had an appeal. I’m twisted, what can I say? More so, I knew Noom would be happy that his new friend was being cared for and that he’d scored a customer for one of his bar mates. And if you can’t drop $85 on a whore for a friend, then just what in the hell is money for?
We closed G.O.D. down that night. The six of us piled into and onto one tuk tuk for a fierce and frightening ride back to the hotel. Chris had a sheepish yet satisfied look on his face the next morning at breakfast and didn’t even seem to mind Noom blaring “Pretty Boy!” when he shuffled into the restaurant, sans Toon who’d already headed home. The next night Chris and I hit a bar on our own. You’d have thought he was an old pro by the masterful manner he displayed in buying himself a new companion for the evening. I guess his previous night’s experience proved to him the price was worth it. Everywhere we visited on the two week trip, if a gay gogo bar was to be found, Chris had a new stud riding him to sleep that night.
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Michael Lomker said:
You are an amazing writer! I’ve been quite impressed since I found your blog.
Chris is cute. I met a nice guy at Babylon that didn’t want any money but I know that experience was exceptional. If it’s Tawan types that he’s after then I definitely agree with you. Most Thai don’t look like that.
dropdeadguys said:
Thank you Michael!
That’s the nice thing about babylon – you can find guys that want nothing more than you!
john said:
Your Noom is such a matchmaker, it reminds me of the one in Fiddler in the Roof, but of course the looks are different. Great story once again…
dropdeadguys said:
Thanks John . . . oh shit! I hope that’s not where his looks are headed!
🙂
Dom said:
Your blogs are amazingly funny. Laugh, grimace, shock, all at same time. So glad stumbled across them. Makes me wanna visit Thailand asap! lol But somehow I feel my shy/introverted Chinese boyf would not appreciate that idea as a holiday! lol Shame really 😉
Keep blogging, and the laughter coming 🙂
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks Dom. And thanks for taking the time to leave a comment.
That’s the problem with boyfriends, they are so difficult to train.
🙂
the_centurion said:
I started reading your blog December when my partner (of 8years) and I planned our first trip to BKK. We learned a lot from reading your articles and learned more from the experiences that you shared to your readers. We had so much fun during that trip, TOO much that as we arrived back in Tokyo, my partner called the booking agency and arranged another trip for the following week, back to Bangkok.
Did I enjoyed it as much as the first trip? Yes. But now the dilemma starts. We offed the same guy (from HotMale) twice, went out with him during the day time, and even had a tattoo made together. And now I have accidentally fell in love with him.
We have been constantly exchanging messages through Facebook since I got back, (quite difficult too because of the language barrier, but thank god for Google Translate), and a few international calls. And now I am so confused, but determined that I want to be with him. I am now in the process of leaving everything behind, applying for a non-immigrant visa and run to him, and be with him. Which also means I have to break it off with my partner who is slowly catching on. I needed someone to talk to about this, but I don’t think any of my friends will approve and understand. I need your advise.
Bangkokbois said:
Congrats!
I hope.
Having been raised on the gay Thailand forums where every bar boy is a money grubbing little thief, my initial reaction to your comment was, “Oh no! The fool!” And shame on me for that. Those who post on the forums tend to be disgruntled old farts and a lot of their dissatisfaction with bar boys stems from their own inadequacies and problems. There are an equal amount – if not larger – group of farang who’ve developed a loving and lasting relationship with a bar boy. That’s been my experience with Noom. And you too may be entering into a positive relationship with your guy.
During the early days of my being with Noom I was cautious of his motives, and watchful for signs of the types of troubles you read about on the forums. None of those ever materialized. While thinking like that may have been wrong, it did help convince me of how real our relationship was – and on the off chance I was being taken for a ride, helped prevent that from happening.
Yours sounds like it is still a relatively new relationship. And I do hope it becomes everything you hope for. I would suggest, however, some caution. Just keep your eyes open and your rose-tinted glasses in their case. You may want to take your guy on a week long trip – possibly to Chiang Mai – where you both will be out of your comfort zone and only have each other 24/7. The minor annoyances that such travel produces coupled with spending every waking hour together tends to highlight any troubles that may not otherwise be evident.
Moving to a foreign country and the fish out of water effect can be emotionally challenging, especially when coupled with the challenge of being in a new relationship. Your guy can either help assimilate you into his culture, or add to your problems. A lot of that will depend on your attitude. I think many problems farang experience is their own fault in not opening themselves to Thai culture and not thinking about the whys and hows of that culture when what appears to be a problem arises. From my own experiences, I’ve learned to stop and think of where Noom is coming from before reacting when something comes up that at first glance seems to be a bit off. There are a lot of details that will need to be addressed in what you have said you are planning on doing – reminding yourself to consider where he is coming from while addressing those needs is probably the best advice I can give you.
I wish you the best and hope your move and new life is a success. Please keep in touch and let me know how well it is working out for you.
the_centurion said:
Thank you Bangkokbois. It is such a relief to have that off my chest, and for someone to actually address this situation as something normal. I don’t really care about what the old miserable farangs there would think, but I believe that this guy is sincere and maybe worth the sacrifices that I am about to take just to be with him. He even said that he will take up ‘farming’ instead and quit his job now, so we can live together. My heart ached after hearing this,and all I wanted to do is to jump on a plane and go to him and cradle him on my arms.
Last night, my partner and I had a big argument when I accidentally opened my Facebook message in front of him, and my boy’s message was the first that popped out. My whole secret love-affair is now in the open.Your initial reaction was not entirely different from his, since he thinks it is an big insult that I am even considering leaving him for a bar boy. We might breakup, or we might make up, but I have already started preparations to move to BKK in the next few months. So whatever happens, I will continuously support your site, and you will be hearing from my misadventures again soon. Keep the stories coming, you are such a great writer! You are like everyone’s online fairy godmother, ~sharing your own experiences to those who can only dream about it.
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks. You might find some of TOQ’s early posts interesting, he went through the same in a similar relationship and his tales about getting set up for the farm life in Thailand might be valauble to you. His blog is listed at the bottom of this page in my Blogroll – you’ll have to click away to get back to its initial articles.
the_centurion said:
thanks for recommending TOQ’s site. I’m slowly reading through it, but it seems that he hasn’t updated his blog for almost half a year now. I hope he is ok.
Anyway, I did mention that my boy is also working for Hotmale, and during the last night of my visit there, I asked him to show me who “Noom” is (since I can’t find any picture of Noom with a facial shot). I didn’t get the chance to talk to him, but after seeing him, and reading your posts, I feel that I almost know him personally. He is a very special guy, and you are lucky to find someone who ‘lubs’ you back. I think my boy is currently training with him, so maybe we might be bumping into each other in the near future.
Bangkokbois said:
I just recently read a comment on one of the forums where someone mentioned he’d just spent time with TOQ, so I guess he’s doing well. He started blogging again briefly last year, but then stopped again. I know he has said before that his updates about the weather and crops were too boring, yet I always enjoyed even those types of posts.
Thanks for your comments about Noom. If he’s training your guy you should be pleased with the results!
Quintin du Plessis said:
Hi there..me agian!
Question: ! You mentioned that hotels will charge a “guest” fee. when you take a bar boy back with you.
When you book a hotel room.
The price is usually per room.
When you book you indicate one or two people..but it still the same price as its a room rate.
SO ..if i indicate that there is two in the room at time of booking on internet..”will they still charge a guest fee …if i have 2 adults registered for the room! What do you think?
Bangkokbois said:
Hey Quintin.
Good question.
Hotel rooms in Thailand charge the same for single or double occupancy. I always book for a double regardless whether I plan on having someone share my bed or not.
At some hotels that will avoid paying a joiner fee.
At others, you have to register your guest to avoid the fee (which also gives him full run of the hotel including the privilege of charging things to your room so you may think twice about that).
Not every hotel charges a joiner fee, and most that do state so up front even if you book through a third party site (you can always email them and ask, too).
Joiner fees aside, by booking for two, if the hotel offers a free breakfast you’ll have coupons for two people and can treat your boy du jour to breakfast before sending him back home.
GTO said:
Your whole blog is hilarious, but especially “Chris” and the girls. The same thing happens to me almost every other trip to LOS….. And Noom has 1000 twin “sisters”. I’ve met them, what great fun, I like watching how some of my older farang friends struggle with “relationships” there too….. The whole scene can be a RIOT. Never a dull moment for sure. You have what I found to be the most satisfying plan for having a pleasant time. Thai people are wonderful once you understand them..
Meet some nice boys at GayRomeo. My profile >> BonniesBoys … Not original, but entertaining. I have been lots of places … none were more interesting than Thailand.
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks for your comment and compliment GTO. I miss Chris and the girls, too, and really need to get back to telling stories about their time in the Kingdom. Sounds like you are a fan of Thailand too – and I gotta admit the farang interaction with Thais and their cultural is one of my favorite parts of the Thailand experience. Personally, I’m glad for those who never attempt to understand the locals. It gives me someone to laugh at.
🙂