Tags

, ,

What! The gay guy kissed a gay guy! I'm shocked!

The gay blogosphere is all a twitter today with giddy posts over Blane and Kurt kissing on Glee last night. Yawn. I watched the first season of Glee on DVD. Mostly because the show got so much press on the gay blogs. It was cute. Loved Jane Lynch. And I’d do the guy who plays Puck in a second. Though that would last for hours, if not days. And kudos to Chris Colfer for winning whatever in the hell award or awards it was that he won. But seriously, the dude is just so gay. And playing a gay role on TV? What a stretch.

I read on some blog, maybe AfterElton, about what a ‘brave’ portrayal his is. Um, no offense but Chris is a fem twink who plays a fem twink. That’s not brave, that’s just being himself. The character may be brave, but it’s not like the actor playing that part is doing anything more than reciting lines. Uh, fiction? Hello?

Same blogs; coming out is strongly suggested for one and all. You’re life will be so much better. Blah, blah, blah. Right. Whether or not you should come out is a decision every gay man must one day face. But then I wonder: Are you really ‘coming out’ if everyone already knows you’re gay?

Coming out is not a hard thing to do when everyone already knows you are gay.

Chris/Kurt is a good example. You’d have to be, oh I don’t know, maybe like 3 years old or younger to not know that boy is queer from the second you first see him. In one episode Kurt tries to let his macho side show by taking on a John Mellencamp persona (yeah, I know, but just let it pass). That attempt at butching it up failed miserably. I don’t think Chris would be anymore capable of achieving that goal than his character was. A lot of what is considered to be stereotypical of gays is evident in both Chris and Kurt. And that’s okay. But it also means that him being gay is no big secret.

Coming out when any and everyone already has you pegged as being gay is really a non-event. Okay, to be fair, it may be a big step internally. But to the rest of the world, it’s pretty much ‘Uh, and . . .?” So bravo for admitting to yourself what everyone else already knew. But let’s move on.

I have a strong suspicion that many of the gay bloggers who herald Chris/Kurt’s bravery, and who think coming out is always the right answer, are probably pretty obvious in their gayness, too. They love the role he plays on Glee because they relate to the character’s fem style; they too were the ‘gay guy’ in high school. And I’m sorry for all the shit they’ve had to put up with in their lives because of it. But their, “Yes you should! Come join us! Life will be better!” attitude about coming out doesn’t cut it. It is not a one size fits all proposition. What was an obvious and perhaps unnecessary step for them, is a much larger leap for a gay man who is not immediately identified as being so. The guy whose coming out to his friends and family is met with shocked silence (if he is lucky and truly loved) is something to really applaud. And his decision to do so needs to be more carefully weighed. His life after coming out will be much different than before. And sorry, but that doesn’t always mean better.

Being true to yourself does not always mean having to share that truth with the world. I think it is imperative that every gay man come out to himself. To thine own self be true, and all that crap. The decision to come out to others is just that: a decision. If and when that step is taken is something each gay man has to decide for himself. If a guy decides not to come out, it doesn’t mean his life is then a lie. He doe not have to fake an interest in women, appear with a beard in public, or get married just to quell any doubts. He can merely choose to keep his private life private. And that decision should be as acceptable and applauded as someone else’s to fully open the closet door.

Needs To Be Gay

So Blane kissed Kurt. Whoopee. Never saw that coming. When the producers of Glee decide to have Puck come out, I’ll start watching. And hope they provide an honest portrayal of what a guy who no one thought of as gay goes through when he decides to tell the world he prefers men. Of course, if instead that just provides an excuse for him to be shirtless on every episode, I’m good with that too.